Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Someone Please Kill Me....

I am feeling so much sad and alone today. I just can't say it enough how much though! I saw some one in my family crying today, someone who did so much all of her life despite all the odds, all the issues , all the obstacles. She did truly more than what possibly could be done for all of us. And today she cried again thinking about all of us. I tried my best to make sure that she won't cry and get relieved from her worries. And the worse part is that her biggest worry is me!

Besides having this extreme feeling of sadness, am feeling so much alone too! There is just one person whom I told the stuff which no one else knows sitting in the tea house of an airport. Some one who promised me to take care of that lady around whom my whole existence revolves. That day, when I opened my self and shared those things with that person, I really felt so relieved, so strong. But it was just an illusion. I just wish it was a reality. But its not and am just sitting here all alone with no one beside me wishing what the title is saying.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

A Poetic MasterPiece By Faraz.....

I am a big fan of good poetry. I am not a poet myself  but where ever I do find anything good written, I try to collect and share it. Surely enough, my first preference would always be Punjabi poetry. But there is no such thing that I wont read from any where else. Whatever is good, I try to make sure that I don't miss it!

There are some poets which have created history with their writings. Late Ahmed Faraz is among those handful which wrote timeless pieces from his pen. Saying anything about him would like showing torch to the sun. So without wasting any more time, I would like to share a poetic masterpiece from him which I read today only and instantly fell in love with it. This is in Hindi and I shall translate it English in a while. Please note, this does has lots of words from Urdu as well.I shall put the meanings of those words in the end of both Hindi and English versions. First, in Hindi,

Dost ban kar bhi nahin saath nibhane wala,
Wohi andaaz hai jaalim ka jamane wala!

Ab use log samajhte hain girftaar mera,
Sakht nadim hai mujhe daam mein laane wala!

Subhadam chhod gaya nikhate-gul ki soorat,
Raat ko guncha-e-dil mein simat aane wala!

Kya kahen kitne marasim the humare unse,
Wo jo ik shakhs hai munh fer k jane wala!

Tere hote hue aa jati thi sari dunia,
Aaj tanhan hun to koi nai aane wala!

Muntzir kiska hun tooti hui dehliz par main,
Kaun aayega yahan, kaun hai aane wala!

Kya khabar thi jo meri jaan mein ghula hai itna,
Hai wohi mujhko sare-daar bhi lane wala!

Maine dekha hai baharon mein chaman ko jalte,
Hai koi khwab ki taabeer batane wala!

Tum takaluuf ko bhi ikhlas samjhte ho Faraz,
Dost hota nai har haath milane wala!

Here are the word meanings in Hindi and English,

Naadim                     -> Sharminda ( Ashamed)

Daam                        -> Jaal( Trap)

Nikhate-gul ki soorat -> Fool ki khushbu ki tarah ( Like the fragrance of a flower)

Guncha-e-dil             -> Dil ki kali ( Bud of heart)

Marasim                   -> Rishte (Relations)

Muntzir                     -> Parteeksharat ( In wait)

Dehliz                       -> Chaukhat ( Doorsteps)

Sare-daar                -> Sooli par ( Hanged)

Taabeer                   -> khwab ka arth ( Meaning of the dream)

Ikhlas                       -> Prem ( Love)

And here goes the translation in English,

Even after becoming a friend, he is not going to stand with me,
He has the same attitude as that of this world!

Now people think that he is fond of me,
He who had trapped me, is just ashamed over himself now!

In the morning, he left like the fragrance of the flower,
He who was placed in the heart like a bud!

What do I say now about my relation with that person,
He who is going now without even looking at me!

When you were there, all used to come to me,
Now I am alone and there is just no one to see!

Whom I am waiting for on these broken doorsteps,
Who would come here and who had come before too?

How would I knew that he who was my life,
He only would hang me to death one day!

I have seen a dream of my world being on fire,
Is there any one who can come and translate this dream for me?

You even assume formality as love Faraz,
Every one who shakes hand with you is not your friend!

I won't even attempt to say anything except this that for me, some lines are just so true! I can relate to them truly from my heart. Rest, I leave it over you to read and understand it. If you are not fond of reading quality poetry, it all may sound completely absurd to you but that's what the beauty is! This poetic masterpiece needs lots of thinking so do try your best to find what's hidden underneath these words and I am sure, you are going to love it! Leave your comments to tell me that you did like it or not? If any contribution you can make to correct the translation, please feel free to post it in comments. I shall correct the translation with proper attribution. Enjoy!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

An Act Of Satisfaction....

I strongly believe that one must do things for others, anything which can help anyone in the least possible manner even, must be done! Though I have so many things in my mind which I want to do, I am not yet able to do them all, thanks to the other issues that are going along with me. But I believe one must have his wishes strongly kept in his heart, rest , whenever they can be put into action, it doesn't matter. And today was the day when one of those wishes of mine got completed.

Its a killing summer which is going on here in my place. There are no rains so far and as per the predictions of weather department, the chances of monsoon coming in, are also not so bright. The temperature is shooting up to even 47/48 degrees even! With this killing hot weather and no rain, its nearly impossible or very tough for anyone to move out on the roads. And those who has to go out for their work, all they want is water to quench their thirst. In Punjab, there is a tradition of arranging Chhabeels which is serving cold water , mixed with milk sugar and any flavor to all who want it. I used to see it being arranged all the time in the summers and when ever I used to see it, a strong wish always kicked in my heart that I need to do the same for the people. I never got a chance to arrange it, partly because I didn't have funds to do it( neither do I have so many now too) and/or I would be busy some where working. But this time,I was just so keen to do it. So when I came back, after 2 days of it, I met with my friend Sunil and shared my wish with him. It happened to be his birthday today so he immediately said, lets do it on my birthday. That's it, the stage was set.

Within a day, we arranged everything, be it sugar, milk, utensils , ice cubes and most importantly, people who would come with us and help in serving the water to others. In the morning today at 8am, we were all set with the sitting arrangements done and water being collected. In Punjab, this is considered one of the most noble acts and almost anyone who would even have the slightest regard for Punjabi culture , loves to be a part of it. An example of the same happened in the morning when a guy came to us out of nowhere. Neither me nor Sunil knew him. He was going to his job but he saw us arranging the stuff , so he came back in the midway. He asked us can he be a part of it ? What to say, we readily agreed. He told us that doesn't matter  where he would see anything like this being arranged, he would first give the preference to be a part of it. He was working on a good position and an act like this from someone alike of his profile is rare to find in this world where people are just plain selfish for their own benefits. He called his office and told that he is not coming today and he would be here in the chhabeel for the whole day. We needed glasses , so me and one more guy Keshav, we went to 2 Gurudwars and got 70 of them( which actually proved less in number later on, thanks to the huge rush that we got) . By 9.20, we were ready to serve the water to all who wanted it. We chose a place on the national highway road to Chandigarh which is always moving and is filled up with lots of people who travel constantly.

In less than an hour of us being started, we started getting huge loads of people. We got some reviews for the water that the sugar is not proper and its less sweeten, reacting to which we immediately added more sugar and milk to the water. After that, the feedback for the taste was awesome. Seeing us doing this, out of no where a guy came and gave us 2 jugs of milk to add to the water. 3 guys came and asked us that can they do some thing to contribute , for which we asked to get us sugar. And immediately they got us 5kgs of it. One guy brought a bottle of squash to add to the water which we did immediately. Me and Sunil were just so happy with so much of good response that we were getting. We got a common friend called Amit who runs an institute for engineering software training. He came along with his students who took over the charge of cleaning the glasses and get them ready again for those who need it afterwards. It was a team work indeed which just made everything possible and go in the right track!

We finished by about 3pm in the afternoon. We wanted to go for the whole day but we were out of resources by that time, both in man power and in the others. So we had to wrap it up by that time. We were all dead tired, especially me and one more guy who served water. But despite of the tiredness , we were all very happy and satisfied. It was a great feeling and we were indeed very satisfied that we did some thing useful for others. We didn't do much this time as being our first time. Lots of people add with the water some thing to eat too! But we didn't have that much money with us to make it that much bigger. But I hope and wish, God would some day make us that much capable too that we can make it more bigger next time. Not sure about that, but I am truly happy and satisfied today. Thanks to all who became a part of it for all of their efforts and support! Without anyone of who were present, it would had become very tough to do anything. A big thanks! Sunil took some snaps too which I need to collect from him. I shall be updating this post or would write a small new one when I shall get them. At the moment, its time to go to Sunil's birthday party :-) . Hope it would be fun too :-) .

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Back, With Pain, Both In Heart And Ear....

I got back today morning. There was another program which got scheduled but some how, things went to another track and I got a chance to get back home and another trainer was called for the program. I already had my ticket booked so that's this whole confusion happened. But still, its okay. I am always happy to be back at home with my family so I guess, what ever happened , happened for good! The program went okay. Though I got some very good comments in the rating but still, I myself am not very happy from my rating. But over all, the delegates were smiling while leaving , asked for my email address , so I can say ( for the sake of saying ) that it went well!

If you are reading this blog, you probably would have read it already that I am having extreme pain in my left ear. I am not sure what's the reason but it surely is killing me. I shall go to the doc tomorrow to get it checked up. The pain is so intense that due to that, I was fumbling even while speaking at times in the program, can't even mention about sleepless nights due to it.

Last ,  but surely not the least, I did see yet again that people are not trustworthy. Even though you do your best for them, they still remain thankless and do what ever possible can be, to hurt you. I got to know few things about a friend of mine whom I know now for almost 10 plus years. I won't mention that I did some thing for him or not but yes, my family certainly did some thing for him and that was a very big thing( at least I would consider it very big if  it would had been done for me).  I came to know certain things which have hurt me so much and I shall not either forget or forgive him about whatever he went and said to the world. He is much elder to me and I always thought him like an elder brother too but I guess, I happen to be taught one more time that people don't really care or bother about relations/friendships. All they care about is about themselves. Don't know what to say or how to react? So much upset but I guess, its not worth it to be, nothing would change even by being so too!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

You Can't Say A Word When You Got Your Ear Blown Out....

If you are thinking that what exactly the title means, well , that's what I could think of to explain what's going on. My left ear is having so much of pain since last 3 days. All was well until the time I woke up on this Sunday and felt this terrible pain in my left ear. I had no idea what's going on and I just thought that it would be fine on its own. I having a weekend off so I thought , it would be just fine. I had to start a session on this Monday and the pain was terrible so I was just praying that it would go fine by that time. Well, too bad that I just did pray and didn't go and see any doc and the result of that is that now since last 2 days, the pain has become unbearable. I am having so much of it that at times, it was nearly impossible to say a word even in the session. My friend Pavan told me that may be the pain is due to that cold which is still not ready to leave me, even when its already about almost a month since the first time it had hit me. Not sure that this pain is due to this cold only or there is some other reason for it? But one thing is for sure that due to this pain, its really getting tough for me to stand, speak even for a minute even!

The session, otherwise is going okay ( I guess). The delegates are very nice and cooperative. We had some good discussions today and I am quite hopeful that it will continue for tomorrow as well. The only thing which is making me worried is the pain of the ear. You may be thinking that why I didn't go to the doctor then when there is so much of pain? Well, its not the case but its just that I am struck in some things which are letting me get free so late and all the appointments of the doctors are in the mornings. So I have got just one option and that is to take pain killer and wait for the time when I get back to home and get time to go to a doctor. Hope I shall stay alive by that time :) !

Sunday, June 21, 2009

One More Broken Heart By One More Heartless Person....

I am not sure why it does happen that some people are just so heartless to see anything beyond themselves? They don't really care what it feels when due to their acts, some one may have lost his smiles for forever and become dead while being alive. For them, all what matter is that which is good for them. If some one even gets tears for life time, it just doesn't matter to them.

I have a friend here. I shall not put the name of him. He is one of those guys who I truly see as a nice and cheerful person, some one who I would love to be a friend with and would look forward to spend time together. He is so much popular every where. You can imagine from this that there is a tea stall, even that guy knows and admires his cheerful nature. When I met him for the first time about 2 years ago, I found him the same as I was few years back. There is nothing that I am putting here in praise of mine ( I hate to say anything good about me) but its true, I know it and those who know me past last 9 years, they would tell you the same. He does everything in a unique way, some time really crossing the limits even. He would make sure that all around him are smiling, happy and are having a good time. I can say a lot but I guess you got the point. I always wished that he would remain the same all the time and no matter what, this smile over his face won't go away ever! Knowing him, I had a feeling that it would not happen that he would be sad ever. I was wrong because I forgot that he has a heart too and that can be broken down into pieces, leaving him shattered.

Few months back when I came here, he asked me couple of things about relationships, gals , love and all this kind of stuff. I must mention here that he never asked this before as he never had any intimate relations with gals. So I told him what I know, at least I tried to tell him. He didn't tell me what's going on and I didn't ask him with a stress too. All went as usual and I was back home , thinking that finally he has got someone and that gal would be very lucky who would get a beloved like him. Time passed and I got a chance to come back here again. I met him and came to know that he is finally going on a date. I don't have a habit of digging out details of anyone's personal matters like this one so I just kept mum , praying that all must go well with him and his gal. Again, I finished my work and got back. This all happened couple of months ago. I didn't ask him who is the gal or anything other too. Once again, time passed and I got back here. I didn't ask him again how are the things and I didn't see anything wrong too. It was part because of the fact that I always get so much busy in my work here so I don't get a chance some times to sit with my friends over here for longer time. It was all (appearing) good until the time we all sat for lunch. When we were all sitting , I was told by another friend that did you notice something? This friend of us was also sitting, so I looked at him and said , what is it? He said there is nothing and these people are just pulling the things without any reason. I got a feeling that some thing is wrong some where for sure. I was much busy in those days so I couldn't ask anyone any details. But few days back, me and one common friend went out to have some snacks. There he told me that some thing wrong has happened. He told me that I must have noticed that his smile is missing and he is looking visibly lost. I asked what happened, for which he said that this guy didn't discuss anything with us. Well, we came back and I decided to just have a look for a day. I did and it was indeed, a guy whose smile was among the most popular assets of him, it was indeed missing. His all activities were appearing like machine controlled ones. There was some thing wrong for sure and now I had to know what it was.

Just few days back, I sat with him in my break and I asked him what's going on. He told me the same what he told to all others too that there is nothing wrong. I am not such an easy going person when I have some thing struck in my mind so I just refused to listen all this stuff and kept on asking. Finally he told me that there is indeed some thing wrong happened between him and his gal. When I asked what happened and what he told me, after hearing that, I really wished that that gal must had been in front of me. What he told that that gal just called him one fine day and told him that from now onwards, there is nothing between them. Upon asking that what happened, all what she said was that being with him is putting her in trouble and she doesn't want that to happen. I asked what sort of problems she faced, for which he said that she told him that her parents saw his messages over her cell and due to this, she got so much of scolding and she doesn't want to get scolded because of him! So the best part is, they should not stay together now. Now you wont' believe how very much pist off I was ( and still am) when I heard this crap. I mean that's among the biggest nonsense that I can imagine some one can say to his/her beloved that just because he/she got some scolding and this is uncomfortable for them to hear, they wont continue with that other person. Is this what is supposed to be called love? Those who really love their loved ones, they give away their heads even without having any second thought, give up anything and everything what they have for their loved one, even their lives too but don't let their loved ones go away. History is filled with tons of stories where lovers , both guys and gals, gave up their lives, got hit by stones but never said a word even as it was all for their love, above which nothing really matters. But what I am hearing is that just because some one is afraid of her own damn comfort and safety, she is finding that the best would be throw away the guy like a used napkin because of him, she is facing some issues. Not sure what to say about it, what words to use for this? All I can say that one needs to be really heartless for even thinking about doing this to that person whom is in love with her blindly. What was his fault? He told me that he is not able to understand anything out of this whole episode that what to say to her and what to say to himself? I knew exactly what he was feeling so I just told him that to gather him self up and not to think about her. He is much better for her and he doesn't need to be like this for some one who have no value of him. I know , these words wouldn't help him and he will suffer for a long time. Any one who is stupid enough  to be nice, having  a loving, caring and true heart, he has no other choice but to suffer. It did hurt so much to see someone so nice like him to be completely quite now. He doesn't smile, even when he does, its just artificial. He appears to be smiling to others but I know what he is feeling from inside. I just saw one more heart getting broken thanks to someone who just cared about herself, just bothered about her own benefits. One more smile got lost in the lonely valleys of sadness, one more pair of eyes got filled with tears.

I don't know what to say. I have really no words! I shall just conclude by saying this that it may sound perfect to think about yourself, look for your own benefits but actually its not. Its good to look for your own benefits, good career, study in abroad and all other things like these but are they really so much important and precious that for them, even slaying some one's head doesn't matter at all? I guess not! These are all things which one can have any time in his /her life but it may not happen that every day would love you from the core of his heart without asking for anything in return, would give you smiles even when you give him just tears. It won't happen every day that someone would be happy to give up everything for you just for your sake and still would be happy doing that. Giving some one tears can never be called or justified as a right act when he has not done anything wrong with you, even when someone has done wrong with you, it is said that don't revert back to him with the same bad intentions. When we say it for those who have done wrong with us , when we say its not right to make any one cry or hurt some stranger too, than how come hurting that person who loved you can be called right? I don't understand why people put themselves first before anything, even before their loved ones? If you have no importance in your heart for that person, if his tears matters the least for you, if your own comfort , your own prestige matters the most for you than why did you ruin some one else's life for no fault of him? It may not impact to that person who is doing this. It won't bother him that some one has lost his sleep, peace of his heart , smiles over his face. A sword can never understand how it feels when from it some one's head gets slayed. Its only that person who is undergoing that pain knows that what it feels to get a heart broken! I shall just say this that don't do this to anyone in your dreams too. It takes a lot to love trust some one, give her your heart. Value this, feel its importance. Its not every day that someone would say give away his heart in your hands trusting that you would keep it safe. Its not everyday that some one would share with you all his secrets, all his joys and sorrows ,believing that you would keep those secrets safe with you, you would lessen those pains and with you, those joys would get doubled. It doesn't happen everyday and surely not with all. So if some one has chosen you for giving all these , value this. Giving tears to some one is just so easy. Try making some one smile, you would come to know how hard it is? Its just so easy to come and complain that some one has done nothing for you, its just so easy to say someone that what ever he has done for you , it was just his own wish, you never asked him to do anything so it doesn't matter to you what problems he faced for doing all that? Try plucking a rose even, you would come to know how hard it is to get that too when there are so many thorns are around it? Its so much easy to overlook that someone crossed oceans, climbed mountains, traveled miles for you, its not that easy to do all this. And those who do all this and much more than this even, for their loved ones, they don't do it to get some medals or get their names written some where but they just do it because they have love in their heart, so much love for their loved ones! They too could look for their own benefits, their own prestige but they never did that because above anything else, love and beloved's matter! It is said that things are to be used and people are to be loved. But seems in this world, people are to be for use and things to be loved! Not sure why , really not sure know it is like this?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Funny Quote….

I just got this quote in a text message sent to me. Needless to say that I loved it that's why thought to share it with you. Please note, its just for a smile, there is no intention to disrespect any woman/gal from this. Here it goes,

Good gals can be found in every corner of this earth!


Unfortunately, earth is round!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Done With One, Now One More To Go For....

I just finished this week's session. It went really well. The delegates were really very nice and cooperative. I did this program for some professionals who are starting to be future oracle gurus but it was really great to see that all wanted to be knowledgeable professionals and not just another guy/gal who does work in the oracle database for making a living. We did discuss a lot of technical stuff but also I tried to share with them some of the things which I thought would help them grow , not just technically but also personally. I hope it works well for them and they all would become great oracle db technologists. All were smiling and asked for email address while leaving which is a good sign to tell that program went well. Just about the time when all left , it was me and one more delegate who left in the room. She had some issues in her db and I wanted to ensure that she has a running db so that she could do practice. When we were doing the installations and waiting for it to get finished, she asked me that am I from North India, for which I said yes , certainly I am. She told me that before joining the program, her friends asked her that who is the guy whose session she is attending and she told my name( it was sent to their emails already) and also that I am from North India. She told me that immediately all of her friends told her that it would be a good learning experience. I asked her that who are those guys/gals for which she told me few names and I could recall some of the names as those delegates attended some of my old sessions. I just couldn't say anything. She told me that you are very popular among the guys/gals here , for which I just could say that hope its not for anything bad. I just didn't get what to say as if you ask me, I am not at all worthy of all these good words. A guy like me is nothing actually( will be posting a post depicting some of the reasons soon) and also I don't know much about Oracle as well. So in any ways, I don't deserve to hear such good remarks for me! A thanks may sound very small but that's all I can say for all these good words though!

So now, I got 2 days free with me before I start the next program. I want to go and have lunch at a restaurant. I went there long time just for once and the experience was just great! I have got couple of friends over here, with the only thing that they all live much far from my hotel. I did call one of my friends in the evening today to go along with me tomorrow for lunch/dinner. Hope he gets some time out and we shall go together. I am told to do some shopping for me but I shall sleep rather than doing shopping. I am not feeling well and I don't want to get more sick while being away from home. Hope a meal outside won't do any harm!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dead Tired….

I am not sure why but I am just SO much tired. That much that I stopped the presentation of a tech web cast by Joel Goodman about Exadata. I don't know what's the reason for this but some how, some thing is wrong today. I didn't have lunch either, just had a piece of cheese sandwich with a glass of juice. I also finished my session too early, not that the time was there but some how, I just didn't have the strength in me to keep it running.  To make all the things, cough, cold , fever is some how not leaving me either. Am I upset, you bet! The only good thing is that the delegates are great and we are having an awesome time in the session. We faced an error with the Enterprise Manager and one of the delegates found the solution which entire audience used and got benefited, and I learned some thing new once again. So that's the only thing which is keep me moving I guess since the first day of the session's start. I shall be here only on this weekend , may be a long sleep would help overcome this fatigue and tiredness. Not sure about that too either because sleep some how , doesn't come to me when I want it so much.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Updates From Day-1….

I just got back from the session and writing this post sitting in my guest house room. I wanted to write the travel updates last evening but couldn't write for two reasons. One, the wi-if over the airport was somehow behaving really stupid ( check my tweets). Though I was getting the message that I am connected but some how , I didn't get any data received. So even I was free for 3 hours, I still couldn't  log in and write. When I got at the guest house, it was already 2am of morning. I did think for a moment to open the system and start writing and trust me , I did open the system too. But after checking mails for about 10 minutes, I just closed and went to sleep. I had to get up early so I thought that would be a better thing to do.

Travel was almost okay. There was nothing exceptional which did happen up till the time when we were about 20 kms away from New Delhi, at which there was a thundering sound from the bus's engine. Driver immediately stopped the bus and opened the cover of engine to check what's wrong. On the first sight check, there was not anything obvious over which he could point to but he did clear one thing that bus won't move any further. So the only option left was to take over another bus. We were not very far from Delhi so I was not so tensed. There was still a lot of time for me to catch my flight so I was just standing calmly. There were some people who were making lots of hue and cry. There was a Gujrati family who was looking a bit overly tensed as they were constantly when the next bus would come in which they can board. Conductor , driver and almost all the passengers were trying to convince them that no one can tell this. But some how, they were just not ready to listen. After about 20 minutes, a bus did come but it was completely packed. As I had enough time with me, I was just standing and watching what's going on. There was a man in that family , couple of ladies( not sure how many) and few kinds. Some people tried to get into that bus along with all these people too. I don't know what happened but within few minutes after the bus left, that man came to the driver and started yelling that his entire family has got into that bus and he is left there. So driver asked , call them over some cell and inform them. To which, he replied that none of the ladies have got any cell. Great! Well, some how some lady might have asked someone in that bus for the cell and called up. The way they both were talking , it was just....not sure what to say. Anyways, finally a bus came and I got into it. I normally take an auto from the bus stand though there is another way also to get to the airport. I never tried that so I thought , heck let's try. It was a bad decision , that's all I can say.

Over the airport, it was okay. I was so much hungry so the first thing that I did that I had some snacks. There was not much that I could do without being over the web so I just sat and did watch the people. Its fun all the time to see what people are doing even at public places like these.

Due to my flight being late for an hour from its official timings, I got at my guest house at about 2am.  I had dinner, checked my mails and than went to bed. From last night, I am having sever headache. I couldn't cancel my session anyways so I had to go for it. Its getting tougher to carry it along with headache, fever, cough and cold. But one good thing out of all this is that the guys are good. I hope the session goes well. But its too early to say anything as its just the first day. Only time will how things would go. I am going to have some juice and medicine for lots of stuff. After that, its time to catch some sleep if it would be kind enough to come to me.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

On The Road Tomorrow....

I am leaving tomorrow for a LONG tour. What I knew , from that I had an assumption that it would be for a week only but I was told today that its actually going to be much longer than just a week. Well not an issue of it being long but because I am not well, I am a bit worried. And other than my own health, there are few other things happening in the family which are not letting me sit peacefully. I just hope that all goes well both with the program and in the family. I have yet to put my clothes and books in the bag. My sis got me couple of mouth masks because the city I am going to, it has reported maximum number of Swine flu cases so far here in India. Did I mention that I am worried ? Time to pack some luggage!

Heart Touching Poetry By Sukhwinder Amrit....

At times, there are people who when write, have the capabilities to put words on the fire. There are not many who can depict the emotions of humans very nicely though many attempt to do so. And among all the emotions that a human can have, the toughest one to express is the sadness. You can show some one that you are just so much happy with your smiles but your tears too never reflect the true pain hidden beneath them. It takes a lot, really a lot to express pain of some one because one can only try to do so when he truly understands it! There are many writers in almost every language who have tried to do so and some have done a remarkable job too. In the same way, in Punjabi language too, there are always one or the other poet who try to give face to someone's pains through their poetry. While almost all try hard but only few have been able to do it in a rightful manner and Sukhwinder Amrit is one of those very few, who can make even stones cry with her words.

Few months back, my friend Amardeep Sidhu( www.amardeepsidhu.com) put a poem over his poetry blog written by Sukhwinder Amrit, which I tried to translate into English for those who don't understand Punjabi. You can read the same from here. I am putting one more timeless piece of poetic genius from the same poet below. As like before, this also was brought to me by Sidhu. Its in Punjabi and I shall explain the meaning in English too in a while. Have a read first in Punjabi,

Avain gairaan nal mitha mitha bol ho gaya,
Sathon jindagi ch aape zehar ghol ho gaya!

Rahu unglan de potteyan chon lahoo simda,
Sathon heereyan de bhulekhe kach fol ho gaya!

Sanu baal k banereyan te deeveyan de waangu,
Sada chann aap baddlan de kol ho gaya!

Asin tahniyan de gal nal lagg lagg roye,
Ik ful saade pairan to madhol ho gaya!

Asin umran beetaian jiston lukk lukk k,
Ratin supne ch aya , kunda khol ho gaya!

Jihna saazan naal na c sadi sur mildi,
Geet jindagi da ohna sang bol ho gaya!


And here is the meaning of it in English,

Out of nowhere, I happened to did  sweet talk with strangers,
And I myself made my life hell!

For the eternity, there would be bleeding now from my fingers,
I happened to scratch them over glass assuming it as diamond!

After burning me like a lamp over the roof,
My moon went up and got hidden under clouds!

I cried hugging the branches,
A flower got smashed under my feet!

From whom I tried to save myself all of this life,
When he came in the dream last night, I just opened the door for him!

Those instruements with which I never could match my tune,
With them only, I happened to sing the song my life!

I am not sure that whether I am really even close to explain what's originally is written by Amrit. If you think it can be corrected by any way, do keep it coming in the form of comments. About the poetry itself, I don't think I have anything with me which can express what is said in any better way. All I can say this, if you ever loved some one and got hurt from her, you would be able to relate yourself to each and every word of this poetic marvel. Only that heart can understand what it feels when you cry sitting all alone in your room trying to heal those wounds that you get over the heart which will kill you with every passing moment. You wish for death , thinking that at least this would take away the pain that you are into, but that too doesn't come and you are left in this world only to appear as alive but dead from inside. There is not any word or any thing which can express the pain of a broken heart and only those can understand it who have got the unfortunate fate to get burnt in this fire. I have nothing more to say and add to what Amrit have written already except this that never hurt that heart who loves you because you may not even bother about it after doing so but it may take away everything from that person, even his very will of being alive too!

Still The Same.....

If you have thought that I am going to mention about my health, you hit it spot on. My health is still the same and I have yet to recover from the fever, cold and cough which some how is not leaving me. I had to go to the doctor for a checkup but there is no one to take me to him and I myself don't have the strength to go , so I am just having the last prescription which I got from him. I had to go and get some tests done but I am not able to pull myself up and go for it. As I mentioned in the last post too that I need to travel on this Sunday so this is really becoming a matter of concern that how its going to be done? And just to make things really spicy, the place I am going , is some how the city where the maximum number of cases of Swine Flu are reported :) . Its really going to be a matter of concern at least now, right !

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Accidents Are Better Than Cold, Cough, Fever....

Are you surprised about the title of the post? Well, its just a rant about the cold, cough and fever from which I am suffering since last couple of days. And trust me, meeting  with an accident is much better than this and its coming from one who has "been there, done that" about 12 times now :) . I have not been able to sleep since last couple of days and also not able to do anything too. I have been listening to songs , watching movies and also reading lots of poetry.  I am at home so there are no issues at the moment, but I shall be traveling on this Sunday and that's a matter of concern. Hope I shall be at least okay by that time. Time now to have some hot tea and medicine.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Say Hello To iPhone 3GS....

Okay, I shall be honest, the title of the post is stolen from the article given below. I was initially thinking of putting this title, "One more joke from Apple, iPhone3G gets appended with S" but I thought it would be rather a bit rude. So here it is, the new shiny , crisp iphone with "S" added where S doesn't mean "many" but "more". Yes the "S" over here is Speed which according to Apple is going to make its 3giphone which was just 1 year back launched , more faster. Now, I won't worry about the new features added , like 3megpixel camera with auto-focus ( still no flash I guess), more fast speed, more ram and all that, why in the world Apple didn't do it in the first place when they launched? I am just thinking about those people who stood in the queues for the whole night to get their hands on 3g iphone. They must be banging their heads over the wall and asking that why the heck Apple launched a new , more bigger, faster phone with some basic features added (now) just in the span of one year from their initial last purchase. I don't think that Apple "invented" all what it has put into the new phone in this year. Its not some rocket science, heck its there in every damn phone available in the market now. Yeah, not any other vendor comes back to their customers in just one year and say, hey look I know you spent a lot on the phone already twice (which already proves you are a fool) and here is your chance to give me some more bucks because I have added now some of those features which you always asked for and other vendors already have them in much better ways (talk about 3.2Megapixels with autofocus and flash in Sony Ericsson phones). Over all, I am really disappointed with the marketing and product planning of Apple and I am just glad that I didn't  go and buy this iphone. May be I shall buy one too once its going to have all what my HTC touch diamond has.

Here is a link containing a review of the new phone,


And here is the link to Apple's website for the new phone,


Rest and peace iphone3g!

Monday, June 08, 2009

NSYNC-Gone, A Truly Touching Song....

I didn't write from last few days because of sickness. There are couple of things which did happen in these days, I saw the true nature of the gals one more time, watch few movies but most of the time, I did rest. I shall be leaving this Sunday for my program( hope I shall be fine by that time ) so I guess, there is still some time for me to write about all this.

If you are a regular here, you must be knowing that I do listen to music a lot. Its mostly in Punjabi but for me, anything which contains good lyrics is hearable. So this means, there are some other songs/bands/musicians beside the Punjabi ones whose work I do listen and enjoy. One group or I should say former group is NSYNC which gave couple of good numbers. Though the group is no more there and its lead singer, Justin Timberlake is doing pretty well in solo, still there are some songs from this group which I guess would never be outdated. One such song is the one which I am listening at the moment, Gone! This is one of those songs of NSYNC and Justin, which has excellent lyrics. Music fills the gaps where ever they are, making it a complete song. I am not sure that since how long and how many times I have heard this song but when ever I listen, its feels to be completely new to me. I am posting this song here with its lyrics. I won't be saying anything more to add to its lyrics and emotions depicted through it. If you have ever loved someone and got hurt, you would be able to understand the meaning of the lyrics by yourself. Here is the song's official video ,


And here are the lyrics,

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
The time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do


I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....

Oh, what will I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
You're gone..
But the truth remains

As I said, there is nothing more that I shall add to it. So enjoy the song and do let me know if you have any thoughts to share about it.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Microsoft , All Set To Do The BING....

I was told by Amardeep Sidhu last night that Microsoft Corp is going to launch some search engine of its own which is going to give very strong competition to the search engine leader, Google. Well, I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying last night because I was just so much tired. So I thought to look for the so-called-Google-killer search engine from MS today and I got introduced to Bing, a new search engine which , as per the press release, this is just not a search engine but its a, Decision Engine. Okay now that's an impressive name to put upon but names alone don't make some thing good. So I tried to look for some reviews about Bing and I got these two links,



According to these, Bing, if not is the best , still is a good product. Now, I am not a search engine specialist so I really can't say that out of both, Google and Bing, which one is better right away. As I am using Google from almost that time since I started using web, so I know this much that it works. And for Bing, this would take some time before I can say the same. Reading the reviews, it appears that its giving what's promised but I yet have to see myself the same. The only thing which just striked in the mind right away though when I saw the opening page of Bing, that what was the need of putting that image over there? The opening page could be just a plain and simple page like Google is having. But may be its just typical MS who really pays a lot of attention over UI so just putting a simple , plain , blank page might not had suited their work tradition. Anyways, do let me know what's your thoughts are about Bing and is it worth switching from Google? Till then, happy Binging (hope that becomes a popular word too as like Googling is)  :-) .

(Luckily) Got Back….

I got back today morning. I wasn't supposed to come back in the morning actually because I initially planned to start actually in the morning. But I was told that things would become much worse in the morning so I started in the late night and got back at home in the morning.

The program got finished, though not sure that how it went officially. I yet have to receive the official report so can't say that it went well/good/bad. But one thing I can say, the delegates were having smiles on their face when they were leaving so this is a good and satisfactory sign. I hope that the official report comes up well. This program was very crucial for two reasons. One, I had got a severe notification from my sales team that few of the last programs didn't go so well so this program must do well. And this increased the bar of tension to the top most level for me. I have delivered the same program couple of times before as well but all the times, the tension is the same. And this time, its just became more bigger because of the news that I received about the previous programs and the importance of this one. This made the program really tough. The second reason for which the program proved to be a hard nut for me was that I am not feeling well. I finished the entire program with having fever. And when you are not well, it becomes really hard to stand up for about 9 hours and speak as well continuously. Anyways, the only good thing is that the program got finished and I am back home.

I normally get back immediately when I finish the program. But I got the call from my dad the other day that there is an expectation for some agitations happening which would get the bus services halted as well as, the administration would put a curfew in the night from 11pm to morning 6am. So I decided to stay back at my friend, Amardeep Sidhu's place for the night and leave in the morning. After the program got finished, I did go to his home. Its not very often that we get a chance to see each other so it was a good opportunity for me to spend some quality time with Sidhu and with rest of the guys who stay with him. It was good fun and we had a blast. After having dinner, we discussed almost everything. I must say, all the other guys at Sidhu's place are also just as nice as he is as they gave me a very warm welcome and I never felt for even a moment even that I am meeting them for the first time. We had a lot of fun. There were two snaps that were taken by Sidhu of mine when I was there. I shall post them soon too. There is a guy who stays along with Sidhu, a real storm I can say he is. I met him just for once a long time ago and I was eager to meet him again. He did come but along with his naughty acts, he brought a bit upsetting news that there are news of some serious mishaps possibly happening in the morning today. So me and Sidhu decided that I should take a risk and leave in the night only. If I shall be lucky, I would be able to get to home without any issues. Otherwise, at least I would be closer to home if I would get struck some where. Thinking this, I started in the night for home and as you can see, I got back at home to write this post.

I hope I shall get some time free with me to have some rest and get me completely cured before I shall start for my next tour. I need to finish a lot of stuff and I just am getting distracted mentally from doing so. I am not sure what's the reason but what ever the reason(s) may be, I have to make sure that I must meet my deadlines before they get crossed. Let's see what happens. At the moment, its time to have some sleep which I desperately need.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

A Tough Program....

I couldn't write anything since I have come here. I did want to write some updates about the program but thanks to my fever, I am just getting dead tired and is going to bed immediately when I drop over the bed.

The program is proving to be a tough one actually. One reason is the program itself as there are tons of things which need to be discussed in it. The audience is good as like always so it becomes more important for me that I must make sure that the program goes ell completely. Well, I am trying my best for it. But despite all of the good intentions, the very start of the program itself went into the dark when I figured out that my monitor is not showing the display. Its a very simple resolution problem which actually gets resolved very easily by logging in from another remote terminal. But its working over here at all. I did try a lot but than left the hope. Now, I have asked the tech team to check it and I just hope that they would do some thing about it. The only thing is that its already 2 days since I am struggling with this. You can imagine how difficult it would be to type some thing when the only visible screen is the projector :-) . Let's see what happens tomorrow, the last day of the program.

There is another issue that's going to be there. Normally I get back to home on the same day when I finish the program. But today, my dad told me that there would be a curfew after 11pm and the issue is that I would be there on the way at that time only. So this means that I shouldn't be on the road ,traveling at that time. So this means, I won't be able to leave for home tomorrow. I won't be able to stay at this hotel as well because my booking is getting over tomorrow. I can surely extend my stay but I don't want to do it actually because the hotel is not that good and moreover, its too costly. So that's a bit of the problem now for which I need to do some thing. Let's see what happens. I have some plans in the mind and hopefully, they would work. They better should otherwise , I shall be in a big trouble.

I still have to read some stuff for tomorrow but I am not really able to read and understand anything. There is The Haunting coming over the Discovery channel. I shall try to watch it for some time and than will go back to sleep. Aah, I almost forgot to mention one more thing which can surely be added to the disasters over this travel. When I had to come over here, my watch stopped working. Now, it was Sunday so there was nothing which could be done for it. I do have another watch but I don't wear it much. It was about 3 years back when I last wore it. So I didn't know that it was working too or not. Well, guess what, it was not working too. So I had to come over here without any watch. This is proving to be a very tough thing to do as I can't manage to see the time and maintain the timings of the session properly. I am checking time from my hand phone and using this only to see the time at the moment. I always get lots of watches for my family and my mom always says to me that I must get few for me too but I  always say , next time. Well, I did realize it this time that I should have couple of them as well. But that's a futuristic thing, at the time, this experience of carrying no watch is not so good!