Some Don't & Won't Understand....

Some time, when one is quiet, doesn't show his pain ,tears, how grief stricken he is, most people think that he is just fine. At time, when one says something, it's perceived as playing a victim card. Even considered as a "story". 

I got a message for the last post of mine which went like this," who has time to read such a long story." Well, simple answer is that none has and certainly one shouldn't read. In fact, I did mention that you don't need to read as it's a long post and certainly not a happy post. It was not about any story and if you have the audacity to say to one who wrote something while being in tears, with his entire self shattered into pieces, then please, don't read a random person's random post/story/whatever. There are certainly better things to do in the world, at least better than reading about how it feels when one has lost his mother. Like I said, you can't understand someone's grief, pain for the very simple reason, it's not your pain. That pain, those tears are of someone else's. It may appear like a randomly written, long post that none has time to read. And may be it's right too, no one has free time and certainly shouldn't. But don't consider something a mere story, a victim card, seeking sympathy or whatever the heck else, cos it may be is possible that who wrote it, he probably is still in tears.  

Here is a video of  Karan Aujla. 

Video is in Punjabi.  and . But watch the video, especially from 06:24 and watch till the end. What Karan is telling in this video is that he was 9 years old when his dad passed away and 11, when he lost his mother to cancer. And worse, that he knew in 8 months, his mom would die too.  So much of pain, so much sadness , especially when he says, "hun te shaklan v bhull diyan jandian ne". In English, "now even at times, I can't remember faces too". It's cos he was so young. May be due to language, you won't understand a bit of it. Since it's an interview, I won't explain the entire video in its English translation. But I shall explain two poems that he recited. 

Here is the 1st one, in Punjabi first,

Kiven kariye gallan dilan diyan,

Saade dil di thaan te pathar ne!

Jithe raat pawe othe saun jaiye, 

Fer chalde saade akhar ne!

Bada zor haalatan laa chhaddeya,

Putt jatt da jhukeya main v nai!

Mainu chahan wale chale sabh chale gaye,

Ohton baad fer rukeya main v nai!

Main akh radkon hatdi nai, 

Bade nakk ragad k dekhe ne!

Main ohte ja ja k roya haan,

Meri maa de jithe peke ne!

Mainu labhde ne dukh aa aa ke,

Putt jatt da lukeya main v nai!

And it's translation in English, 

How can I say what I have in my heart,

Instead of heart, I have stone there.

Wherever the night sets in, I fall asleep, 

Then my words keep the journey going!

Circumstances have tried their best,

But I haven't accepted defeat yet!

Everyone who loved me has left, 

I shall also not stay for long!

It's been so long that my eye keeps blinking,

I have also prayed so much but it was all in vain!

I have gone and cried in the city where my mother was born!

Though sadness comes looking for me,

I haven't ever hid myself either!

The 2nd one is, 

Hanjhu na si niklan dindi akhon pal v maye,

Hun naa aawin, roz ruawein, 

Changi gall na maye!

Putt tera ajj kalla ronda,

Aa k chup kara lai maa!

Mud k aaja mere kole,

Ya mainu kol bula lai maa!

And it's translation in English is, 

You had never let me cry for a moment even mom,

Now, you don't come, make me cry every moment!

It's not good mom!

Your son is all alone and crying,

Come and make him calm, stop his tears!

Either come back to me,

Or call me wherever you are!

Some don't understand that what actually pain is, grief is and just the saying  oh, don't cry, it doesn't actually stop tears. Like I said before, some pains, some griefs, some losses ,  hit you so hard that they shatter whatever is left of you. Everything is a story unless it doesn't happen with the listener. Only those who are the unfortunate ones to live that "story", they or just a handful, just one or may be two, are those few who actually feel that pain, who understand that why tears come all of a sudden and don't stop . Why even when there are no tears, that sadness doesn't leave you. Just cos someone is sitting without saying anything, don't make a mistake of assuming that he is fine. Some may choose too to say that I am okay, you would never know. Not everything is a story, and even if it is, it takes a lot to listen one too.