Sunday, May 31, 2009

Another Day, Another Travel....

I am leaving again today in the afternoon. Its not going to be long tour and also, its not happening much far from my home. Any travel which doesn't need me to fly is actually not far for me as now, I don't consider 7/8 hours of bus journey anything. There is still a minor issue though that I am not feeling well and trust me, if you are not well and traveling, its just makes it more worse. Hope I won't collapse in the mid of the session :-) . I know that the program is going to be tough because of the talk that I had with my sales person. Let's see how it goes? Hope it goes well and gets finished without any issues/news being created. Pray for me guys and wish me luck. Really need it!

I mentioned that I shall be writing a movie review. I wanted to do it yesterday but some how, was just too much upset thinking over some series of events in the past and the most recent one which did happen yesterday. So I just didn't do anything for the whole day. I shall be doing it some time in this week, provided that I would get the internet access. Let's see what happens!

Simply Amazing, Women Drivers….

With no offense to women, the title is just inspired from the narrow escapes that I have had in the past and still get almost daily from the gal/ladies who do try to drive both the two and four wheelers. I can't even recall that how many times, I was about to meet a serious accident and all the time, on the driving seat, there was a lady. And the irony of the story is, if one does collide with that vehicle which a woman is driving and gets hurt, even then public listens to what the lady has to say in the first place. The following videos are the compilations of the best scenes caught with women driving. They were sent to me by a friend of mine and I just couldn't stop laughing watching them. Again, no disrespect to the women in any ways and certainly , this doesn't apply to all the women. But those who do really like what is there in the videos, please please don't try to drive. It would be good both for your car and especially for the innocent people over the road. Have a look,








Saturday, May 30, 2009

Back For 2 Days….

Yes I got back yesterday. I was not able to write anything as I am not feeling well. I guess I shall catch fever (or may be already have caught) soon. Though that I am so much tired, I have to leave tomorrow for another program and I believe, this month is going to stay like this. So I quickly rushed through to get my hair cut done. I did want to get some coloring done as well but than I just dropped the idea and just asked for hair cut. There is still packing to be done which I shall be doing today. I got to attend a seminar unwillingly today about Australian Education and options about it. Unwillingly because I actually don't want to attend but still I have to. Than I have to get my old laptop bag's zippers repaired or possibly get them changed. I faced a lot of issues in this travel because of them. Both the zippers of my bag are not getting closed properly. I agree that bag has become very old and I actually need to get the bag replaced , not the zippers alone but it will take time, a long time to do so. At the moment I shall get the zippers done only. So its going to be a long day which starts in an hour from now. I shall write about a movie review when I shall be back home. I saw it in my returning flight. Which one? For that, do keep watching this space as I return back after a short break :-) .

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day 2, 3 & Finale….

Well, I am back here at the Hong Kong International airport, waiting for my connecting flight. Its going to be a long wait as the connecting time is about 10 hours. I am feeling hungry but I would rather not dare to go and buy that much expensive food, in the price of which I can throw my this year’s birthday party to almost all of the people I would invite. So the only thing that I can do is , well, just sit with the system and check OTN forums , in addition to sneak around what others are doing.

 

About the program, its finished that’s all I can say for the moment. I can’t say that it went well or bad because I don’t yet know the rating of it. As per the face-to-face experience, all the candidates were smiling while leaving, asked for my email address, which is a good sign. I know this much from the experience that you would be only asked about your email address and/or any other contact info, if and only if people liked a thing or two of what you spoke about. So in that case, things look like that they went well. But for me,the official rating matters the most so I shall just wait for some more days for it to come to me. As this was the first time that I took up this module, I shall be really looking forward for the rating to come because that only would tell me that what are the areas in which I have to improve myself? Though, if you ask me, I won’t like to go ahead with this module again , at least not by will. Still, on the good part, I learned a lot. There were tons of good things that I picked up while preparing for this module and surely enough, while talking about it as well. The guys , as usual were very nice. Day 2 and 3 passed without any major issues as like what happened on day 1. Guys were very friendly and gave me a lot of tips for the sight seeing which unfortunately I couldn’t do for the reason that I was very much tired when I finished the session on the last day. I didn’t sleep in all the nights since I was at Philippines. Reason? Well, besides that I was not having a proper( or can say any too) food, I was( and still am) upset about a lot of things and due to that, over some people. I tried my best not to think of anything like that but some how, thoughts just never left me. So I spent all the nights either studying or thinking. That’s why on the last day, I just got back and slept. I don’t know for how long I slept but I am sure it must be for quite a long time.  Other than things going in my mind, there was some thing which did happen in the session which forced me to think too. Before we would start on day 2, one guy asked me that am I married or not? For which I gave my standard answer, don’t I look happy? Not to disrespect the married people at all but that’s just my style of saying that I am not. So in the counter question, he asked me , am I seeing some one or not , for which, once again, the answer was same, a no. Well, he again asked me , why is that so? And now I didn’t have any answer. I just said, may be I am good enough for anyone, for which he replied that this doesn’t sound right and you seem to be a nice guy. I didn’t have any answer so I just changed the topic. I did want to say that in this selfish world, being a nice guy is the worst mistake but I just stopped myself from saying so.

 

I have another session starting in the 2 days. But at least, I shall be at home and I am not sure why, I am feeling so much sad this time. I wish I could write it out that how much sad I am feeling but I just can’t. So even for a single day, a day at home would surely help me cheer myself up. But before that, there is a LONG wait and equally long travel is pending. Joys of travelling you may say, yeah a little too much I guess!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Just Feeling So Upset....

I wanted to write about the updates of the program but some how, I am not just feeling right from inside. Just feeling so upset! At the moment, I am just trying to figure out that what the heck is called "busy" and how much a person can be for not even able to write a single line of mail too? Doesn't make sense, yeah I know it doesn't, I told you already I am REALLY upset , didn't I?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 1….

After a 17hours of travel which includes a 5 hours of wait for the next connecting flight, I am here at the Philippines, writing this post from the City Garden Hotel Makati city. The room is okay. The staff is bit weird though. The front office reception gal was bit confused that whether I was checking in or checking out? Anyways, the room is okay, a bit small but still, its manageable. One thing which did catch my attention was finding the presence of something in my washroom which I can't remember seeing anywhere else so far in my stays at hotels. Heck I didn't find this even in my stay at hotels at Thailand where if I did find it,it would had made more sense. Any guesses what the thing is? And just before that you assume that its free of cost, its not, its actually chargeable if you are going to use it. Funny, that's all I can say! And no, I am not going to use it either!

The session for the today is over. It went okay. I can't say that it went exceptionally well or even bad also because of the simple reason that I don't know yet. As far I am concerned, I did try to say the material in the best way I can and I can just hope that its well received by the audience as well. One almost-a-terrible thing happened after the lunch that all of a sudden my remote desktop control from all the client pc's got hanged. Whatever I was doing, it didn't get give back the control to the clients. Eventually, I had to ask all of them to restart their boxes including me also doing the same. Its only at the restart I came to know that some how , my networld chord is out from the port. I put the chord back in the port and guess what, everything got back to normal. Dman these machines, I hate them!

I haven't had anything since yesterday. I am not just in a mood to have anything. In the office too, I just had a cup of hot Milo that's all. Not sure but I am not feeling like eating anything. I mentioned in my last post that I am upset about couple of things, one reason of this is that. There is one another thing which is  just hurting me a lot at the moment. I shall talk about it some time later. At the moment, I shall just get back to study and after that, to sleep. May be sleep will take away  the thinking, if not for long, at least for some time.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Long Tour Started….

I am writing this sitting on the international terminal of the Delhi airport. Its been already more than 12 hours since my travel has started and still there is a travel of almost the same number of hours left. Did I hear that you said long? Well its not just long, its very LONG!! I don't know that whether I have traveled so much any time before or not but this already has been becoming very grueling. Speaking of travels, I am not sure but I do believe that when you start asking your self the question that what you are doing is , when its the time to stop doing it, that means the time to stop doing that thing has already come and I am starting the question myself that why I am doing this much of travel? Its been already couple of years( 4 to be precise ) that I am doing this kind of work and I guess its pretty long. I really have no idea how come Tom, Jonathan, Tim and many more legends like these do it on and on and on! May be I need a small break and things would be fine. Don't know yet but at the moment its really becoming hard.

I am not sure but I am little upset too. Since morning I was waiting for someone to send a text before I would finally leave but that never happened. Its not many whose texts I would wait when I would be leaving for such long travels so it really did hurt when I didn't get any. Yeah , "busy" word must have knocked your mind but I am not sure that I do agree to that logic. There is always time for us to do somethings , provided we just make sure that we want to do it. I guess, either I need to change my glasses through which I look into this world or.... ;-) .

I need to catch some thing to drink and eat because I didn't have anything since morning. I had to collect my passport from a local office here so that's why I started early in the morning. I need something to eat otherwise I would either collapse before the boarding would start or would just eat while I shall be aboard , both are not such good things to do I guess :-) .

Friday, May 22, 2009

A Tough Travel Ahead....

I shall be leaving tomorrow(again) for a tour. There are two differences this time. The very first one is that this time, its going to be an international tour. The second , and the most the important difference is that the module for which I am going this time, I haven't delivered that module so far. This is going to be the first time that I am going to present it and that too, in an international location. Am I worried? Even one step ahead than that, I am scared. Let's see how things would go? I shall try my best to put everything at its right place. Hope everything goes fine. I got back to back tours after this one with very less breaks in between so its important that the first one must go well as this would serve as the launching point for the rest of others. Pray for me guys, really need your wishes and prayers for the good luck!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

This Is True Love….

If you are frequent visitor here, you must be aware about this that I talk about relations and how to maintain them a lot. In relations, relation of love is among the most sacred and important ones because unlike the other relationships we have, this is the one where we only choose our partner. So unlike the other relationships, this is the only one where just we only are responsible to maintain and make it more and more strong. Trust me, its much easier said than done. At times, love tests us and sadly, most get fail in that test because its not a road full of roses but an ocean of fire which one has to swim through to get to other end!

I just got this in my email, not sure from what’s the original source of it but as like it is said, a picture is better than thousand words, this just shows what is true love! I don’t know what you would say and feel but for me, it is indeed the expression of a true love which knows no bounds, which doesn’t get effected from anything. See it for yourself,

 

expression of love!

 

Need I say anything more? I don’t think so.  But surely I would like to hear your comments about it. And just in case you know the original source , do let me know so that  I can add it with the picture.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Story Of A Broken Heart By Sangram, Tera Khat....

Love is the most beautiful and soothing feeling that a person can ever have. Its that precious gift which is not awarded to all, only few lucky souls get a chance to taste it. And when love smiles over someone, it appears that this whole world is just alike heaven, there is nothing else which is needed, there is no other wish that is left to be fulfilled. When one's beloved holds the hand, it feels that there is nothing in this world which is unachievable, there is no mountain high enough, there is no sea deep enough to be crossed. Love is the biggest strength that one can and one's beloved is the closest human being one can have. Love is all about smiles, care , affection , devotion and trust, its all about giving your self away for someone and still feel contended, its all about letting go everything you ever had for someone and still smile!

But unlike what said above, there are some who just take love as a game which they play for some time and when feel bored out of that toy alike person, they throw him like a dead fly out of milk. Some people just know how to take, how to ask and look for just their own happiness, care for themselves alone? They never do care about this that in love, giving is much more important than receiving. You never dare to make that person hurt even this much who loves you because if you would do so, you also would get hurt because that's what the bond of hearts is. But sadly, for some, it doesn't matter at all. All that matters to them is just what belongs to them, what's good for them, their career, their study in abroad, their own self, these are just the things which matters the most for some people. They don't really care that there is no "me" in love but its always "us". But some people think that the only thing which one should care about is that his own selfishness, his own goals, his own dreams. Some people just be happy in giving tears to those who already gave up their smiles for them , yet they  give logics to justify their deeds , failing to understand that there can't be any justification for hurting some one. There can never be any logics behind giving tears to that person who did what ever he could do the best for you, even when you didn't do any thing for him,even when you failed to just stand with him. Its not that one has to call himself bad just for the sake of a self satisfaction. You know it when you are being bad and there is no explanation needed for it. How would one can possibly explain insulting someone, time after time after time just because of one crime of his, that he loved someone defying the words of the entire world who warned that its a mistake to do so! It doesn't make one look super smart, it does prove one's inability to understand that in this life, it doesn’t happen all the time that some one would love you more than his own life too!  But alas, people don't bother about all this.  All they bother about is just about their selfishness, their benefits , their smiles. They don't know that its just too much easy to say things to someone like I have nothing to do with you anymore but it goes like melt glass into the ears of those who hear it. But people wont' understand the pain of these words, they won't understand the depth of those cries which one gets when he has to face all this. Its easy to laugh at someone, its easy to say that he is an idiot who crossed oceans and mountains for me but its just too much difficult doing the same or even much lesser than that too. Its takes a lot to do even small things for someone, let alone be the talks of doing some thing big. There are just endless examples like when a gal has given away her life crossing a river while going to see her beloved , just for the sake of a promise which she made to him, how a prince served in his beloved’s home as a servant for 12 years just because he wanted to be with her all the time! And its not doing something which is important but its to understand that even for doing any big/small thing, even thinking of doing so, would have just one thought behind it and that’s the love for that person who matters us more than this whole world even. Its all for the happiness of that person, to bring a small smile over her face, to hear those 3 words which takes away all the pains! Its just too easy to comment/neglect/ignore someone’s efforts but its much harder actually to understand that why he would have undergone all that pain as its for no other reason but because he is in love and in love, nothing else matters than your beloved and her smiles!  Its easy to act like that one has not done anything wrong and still dare to justify all what he has done through logics and explanations which doesn't make sense at all but its not easy to sit alone in your room , thinking about the answer of the question that what you got by loving that person who meant as the whole world for you but for whom you never meant anything? Its not easy at all to face those people who laugh at you because they warned you long time back that you are playing with fire and would burn your hands eventually but you told them that this is not true, the other person is not like that, only to see in the end them being proved right and you being burnt, not just in hands but also over your soul, also over your heart! It takes nothing to get some one insulted from yourself and from others, it takes nothing to make someone look like a fool but it takes a lot to swallow that insult, much worse even when its along with the fact that it has been brought to you by none other than that person whom you loved the way you would never love someone else ever but who never loved you!

There is no thing which can explain in complete the depth of the pain which one feels when he is having a broken heart! There is nothing which can show the pain hidden behind each falling tear from the eye, there is nothing which shows the broken pieces of that crushed heart. Yet, there are always attempts to show the same by various ways, music is one of them. There is a long history of the usage of the music and poetry to show the pains of heart, to give voice to the tears. There are songs coming all the time trying to do the same and there will be always new songs coming up. But at times, there are some songs which just touch your heart, both with their music and lyrics. I don't consider that song a song which doesn't have good lyrics and to write a good song, one needs to understand that pain which a broken heart must be feeling, one needs to feel the same heartache which does feel when he is having his heart bleeding. Raj Kakra is one of those writers who when writes, puts fire within the words. I wrote a post about one another song of him, Afwah from the album Dildarian which is sung by Amrinder Gill. Raj is known for writing truly touching sad songs and he is back with one more gem from him. This time , his song has been given voice by a new singer, Sangram who came out from a music talent show. Though he couldn't win that show but I guess, with his debut album, Tera Khat, he has already won hearts of millions. I am putting here title song of his album, Tera Khat( Your Letter) which is written by Raj Kakra. I have heard this song so many times up till now, so much that I have lost count of it and each time, I feel that I am listening it for the first time. This song is from a guy who is talking to his heartless beloved and telling her to at least write back to him a letter when she is leaving him. This is the song which can make anyone cry who have ever got hurt by his own beloved. Even if you haven't got that ill fate yet, still you would feel the pain underneath the words of this song. The song is in Punjabi, I shall translate the meaning of it in English in a while. I am  putting the official video of this song from YouTube over here. Please note that in the video, one stanza is less than the actual song. I have put here the complete song and the one which is missing, that's the best part of the song IMO. Here is the video first,





And here are lyrics of it , firstly in Punjabi,

Tusin bhullna na khat pa dena,
Mainu jeena yaad kara dena!
Tera khat main nitt udeekanga,
Nitt boohe aan khalowanga!
Je main es pate te na hoya,
Tan marr mukk chukkeya howanga!
Tusin bhullna na....

Lakh koshish karanga jeene di,
Par fer v na j jee hoya!
Tun fikar karin na,
Tere layi, j marr v gaya te ki hoya!
Tutte dil di kise nukkar vich tera dard lukowanga!
Je main es pate te na hoya,
Tan marr mukk chukkeya howanga!
Tusin bhullna na....

Na bhull ke v mera raah vekhin,
Kade main nai aauna shehar tere!
Kade rabb sababbi mud gaye je,
Mere pind de raah wall pair tere,
Hanjuan da pani pa pa ke, pair tere main dhowanga!
Je main es pate te na hoya,
Tan marr mukk chukkeya howanga!
Tusin bhullna na....

Mere pyar da sukka maaruthal,
Do kanniaan de layi taras gaya!
Kyon Raj kakre da sawan,
Kise gair de ja k waras gaya!
Dil di pyas bhujhwan layi,
Kujh geet gaman de chhowanga!
Je main es pate te na hoya,
Tan marr mukk chukkeya howanga!
Tusin bhullna na....

And here is the translation of them in English,

Please don't forget me and do send me a letter,
Do remind me how to be alive!
I shall wait for your letter every day,
I shall wait on my doorstep for you every day!
If I won't be available at this address,
Than I would have been dead already!
You don't forget....

I shall try my best to be alive,
Even after that too if I won't be able to stay alive,
You don't be worried because,
It won't matter for you whether I am dead or alive!
In some corner of this broken heart, I shall hide the pains given by you!
You don't forget....

Don't ever long for me,
I shall not visit your city ever!
If ever God would make your feet turn towards my village,
I shall pour the water of my tears and wash them!
If I won't be available at this address,
Than I would have been dead already!
You don't forget....

Dry desert of my love,
Strived to get even just two drops!
Why monsoon of mine did go and pour over someone else's place?
To quench the thirst of this heart,
Will touch few songs of pain!
If I won't be available at this address,
Than I would have been dead already!
You don't forget....

 

Here are 2 lines in Punjabi depicting the pain of a guy whose beloved hurt him so much. These lines are in Punjabi and I shall explain their meaning in English in a while,

Aisi keeti bewafai usne,
Mohabbat v badnam ho gayi!
Apni mohabbat di aisi keemat keeti wasool usne,
Meri kabar v us layi neelam ho gayi!

And its meaning in English is,

She did such kind of betrayal,
Love even got a bad name!
She asked so much for her love in return,
That my grave even got sold for it!

I shall conclude by saying this only that if you love someone, make sure you don't hurt them ever. Make sure that you never do anything , not even by mistake too that can bring them a moment of sadness. It takes much less to bring someone tears but it takes a lot to get them wiped out and make some one smile. If you love someone, respect him and his love. Don't ask for anything in return. If you think that you are acting as a practical person by picking up your own selfish goals, career,  study in abroad than that person who loved you, you are not being practical, you are just being a selfish person for whom nothing else except your own benefit matters the most!  Don't be so much selfish and shameless that in the race of an illustrious career, study in abroad , you fail to see that you and your acts all the time just did hurt some one, brought tears in his eyes yet he loved you for what you are, yet for him, you are the best gal of this world. And all this is only for one reason that he loved you! But if you think that by doing all this, you are not doing anything wrong, if you have justifications for doing all this, if you are ready with some stupid logics to prove that all what you did is correct, than you are nothing but like those selfish souls who don't care about anyone else but about themselves. It takes alot to do some thing for someone, before making fun of someone in front of others, dare to do even one percent of what you have got in return and see for yourself, how much effort it takes do pluck even a rose for your beloved when its surrounded by thorns. But there are some souls in this world for whom even if someone would burn himself to get them heat for few moments when they are shivering, it wouldn’t be enough and  they would still complain that why he did do it for such a small time? There are some souls who say to their beloved  that they have nothing to do with him anymore but fail to see the tears that these words bring into the eyes. If you do so, you have no right to call yourself a human because no matter what, any human can't be so cruel do all this to another human and yet can come back with justifications to prove that he/she is right! Love is not the act of giving tears to your beloved but its to give away your own smiles for the sake of tears of your beloved and still be able to smile! But it seems for some that's what not love is all about because for them, their own smiles matter the most ,  not of their beloved’s. For them, neither that person matters nor does his love and care. They won't ever understand what it does feel when you sit all alone, look at that pic which you have in your wallet all the time and ask that pic that why she has done all this to him, despite knowing that there won't be any answer? They won't understand how it feels to hear when someone decides to go so far to meet someone special but his heart gets broken when he sees that for whom he is doing all this, undergoing all this trouble, for that person it means nothing ! It burns your heart and kills your soul. But even if you shed tears of blood, it matters nothing at all for that person who is just lost in his own selfish world and doesn't care about anything else except about his own self. Don’t ever be like this, not even by mistake too. Don't do this to your beloved ever because a person has just one heart and if you break that too, there is nothing which is left with that person anymore. By you being a selfish, heartless person, may not bother you but those who get burn in this fire ,for them its not a piece of cake to recollect themselves. If you can't give even just one smile to some one, you have no right to give tears for life time to him either. Feel that pain yourself first which you are giving to that person who loves you when you disrespect his love. Feel it for yourself first than you would realize how it feels when you love some one so much just to get hurt all the time in return. When you make some one smile by doing everything possible in your best powers and only get tears  in return. You would never understand what it feels to get yourself insulted by no one else but from your own love and seeing that for her, it doesn't matter at all. Don't be so heartless! Remember, he who has loved with his whole heart, if he wouldn't be able to  do/say anything, but one day when his tears will get dry in his eyes, he  would leave this world with a broken heart. But some fine day, when you would sit all alone, you would realize that how selfish and cruel you were! That day you would realize that how much it must have hurt to that person who saw him being insulted in front of his beloved’s very own eyes yet she didn't say/do anything. On that moment you would realize that when you had done all of this, what went through in that person’s heart who took all that pain quietly and how much he must had got hurt which words fail to describe! If one thinks that by giving tears to someone without no fault of him, god would bless him/her with smiles, she is wrong because he does watch everything. As much he watches someone's tears, he also does watch those souls who bring those tears to someone's eyes. It may take some time but this must never would happen that those tears won't come back looking the way to your eyes. They will for sure and when that would happen than only one would realize how it feels when you get hurt! Don't hurt that heart who loved you truly and unconditionally. It may not mean anything for you but by doing so, you may take someone's will to be alive because its not easy to die with every breathe and yet to stay alive. Don't hurt some one for just one fault of his that he chose you for showering his love and care without knowing that he would only get his heart bruised and eyes filled with tears in the end. He never knew that he would get insulted time after time by the hands of that person only whom he tried to save from every bad thing of this world, tried to took all of her pains as much as he could. Don't give this much punishment to someone for just one mistake of his that he loved you and didn't expect anything else but just a little of love back for him.  Love is not play, its the start of the life and at times becomes a reason to end a life too! Be a part of someone's life to make it more happier, not to be the means of ending someone's life which he dedicated for you because he loved and trusted you!

Monday, May 18, 2009

You Are In Pain When….

Few years back, I wrote a post talking about when you should feel that you are in love? There are many times in our lives when we just assume that we are in love but in reality, its not. Most of the people of this world run for a mirage which they want to catch without knowing what's actually it is to be in love? It takes a lot to be in love, much more than few nice wordings, few promises. Love takes everything away from you, your smiles, your happiness, your peace of heart yet its the most soothing feeling in this world. Love is not about standing on the tallest building of this world and shouting your lungs out that you are in love but its to keep your lips sealed even when there is so much of pain and still smile for your beloved.

But as like there are always two sides of coin, there are not always smiles that one gets in love. At times or I should say, most of the times, people of this world hurt only their beloved ones. People give value to everything else but not to the love that they have got, not to that person who is loving them madly and deeply. Its takes a lot to give smiles , one has to dance on the streets yet not to feel ashamed of doing so if its for the happiness of his beloved but it takes nothing but just a bit of selfishness to hurt your love. When you look for your happiness first, when you look for your own profits, your own goals, care about your own dreams in which your beloved doesn't fit into, its very easy to hurt that heart which loves you so much! Those who do it, they never do and can understand how it feels when people laugh looking at you, when tears come just like sitting all alone looking at some things. Pain is much more intense feeling than happiness and when you get hurt from that person for whom you gave away all the happiness you could ever have, it becomes much more painful!

These following lines are just few signs which if you would see for yourself or for someone else, be assured that he is in just so much of pain! Pain can't be reflected in words, there is only language of it, cries which has alphabets of tears. And there are not many in this world who speak and understand this language very well. Have a read,

When someone asks what happened but you have no words to say, you are in pain!

When you want to cry but tears don't come, you are in pain!

When you are sitting with whole world yet  feel all alone, you are in pain!

When you appear to be alive but dying with every breath, you are in pain!

When you feel that you have no soul/heart left with you anymore, you are in pain!

When you see someone else in love and being happy and tears suddenly drop over the cheeks, you are in pain!

When some one asks you, did you ever love someone and you don't know what to say, you are in pain!

When you see a pic kept in your wallet before going to bed every night and cry, you are in pain!

These for sure, are not the only signs. There may be many more which do show that when a person is in pain. As I just said, pain can't be reflected in any words, only the language of cries spoken with tears tell about it and it takes a long to understand the meaning of words spoken through them. Love is surely the most precious gift that one can have in this world, but there is no pain like the pain of love in this world too! No one else can understand the depth of it as long as he himself has not tasted this poison. No one else can understand that loneliness that creeps in the heart when  its broken  except for those who themselves wander in those lonely valleys of pain.

I shall conclude by saying this only that if you love some one , don't hurt him because that other person may never come to you and say how much hurt he is  but when he would sit alone and cry, those cries would not let you sleep with peace too. Don't ever make those eyes cry and shed tears which always carry your own pic in them. Try to take away all the pains and tears from your loved ones. Its not always that one has to ask for only in love, few times, its important to give back some thing too. And in love, its not important that you get your beloved precious gifts, jewels, no they are nothing, they are never needed if you can give your beloved just pure and true love which he seeks from you. A tight hug when your beloved is crying is million times better than a diamond to make them smile. Love is not about giving red roses on Valentine's Day but its the rest of 364 days when you show that person how important he is for you and how much you love him?  Nothing can match the strength that one feels when his hands are holded by his beloved! Be the strength of that person for whom you may be the last best thing ever happened to him. And just like this, there is nothing that can match the intensity of those pains which are given by the loved ones. Its very easy to hurt someone and feel that you haven't done anything, its very easy to give logics to justify yourself but remember, tears don't understand logics neither cries understand justifications. No one can understand what it feels when you are sitting all alone in a corner of your room, cry and  pray to that god every night that he may take everything that you have but just for once makes it happen that you can see your love, just for once it does happen that your beloved would come from some where and say, baby its okay , I am here, don't cry! You know in your heart that god won't listen and neither would your love but still you do it each and every night, thinking that just may be , some day , either one of them would listen to your cries, despite knowing that none of both would pay any attention ever! Don't give tears to that person who have already given away all of his smiles to you. Just give him so much of smiles and happiness and love that person even more than he/she loves you because that's what love is all about. Always remember, its not every day that one does get some one who loves them truly, madly and deeply and its not everyday that you would find someone for whom, the whole world is only you!

Remember, love is not how much you can get but how you can give, its not about giving up but holding on. Its not about how you say, " I love you" , but how you show that it's true!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Back….

I got back today. Though it was not a very long tour( 4 days only) but still it seemed to be so long because I fell sick in between of it. And I must say , its not at all a good thing to fall sick at a foreign place , that too when you are there not for fun but for work. Because of being sick, all I wanted to do was to get back home as soon as possible because I knew , the more longer I am going to stay far from home, the more worse my condition is going to be. So I am just feeling so so good that I am back at home and have some time to do rest before I would leave for the next travel which is going to be far more tougher than this one as I have no clue about that module and I shall be taking it "not so close place" as well.

It doesn't happen very often that when I am going to start a program, I shall meet with the kind of audience who is both intelligent and very friendly. Its true that after some time, all the delegates to become friendly with me but usually , this takes some time, at least a day I should say. But this time, there was an exception. Since the first tea break of the very first day of the program, all the delegates became just so friendly with me that even for a moment , I was shocked as well. I must say, I have met so many people since the time I am doing this traveling and I consider my self extremely lucky that I have always met very nice and friendly people but this time, the delegates of this program surpassed all the previous ones which I have met so far. All were very senior, experienced, knowledgeable , yet all were so friendly, respectful to me. I wish I could mention one or two which stood apart but doing so would be actually wrong as all of the delegates were like this only. Though all were very good , still one delegate did stand apart from others. He was the one who some how didn't get much of the time to attend the sessions properly due to one or the other issues that he was facing, but what ever time he did spend in the class, that was I guess would be memorable for all of us who were there at that time. I won't mention his name over here but if at any point of time, he would come and read this, I am sure he would know in an instant that I am talking about him only. It was not the case that we had just fun in the class, no this is so not true. As I mentioned that the entire audience was very senior and knowledgeable, so we had some great technical discussions as well and there were some good questions that also came too. Besides the tech discussions, when ever we got time, we did discuss almost all the other aspects too which were worth of discussion , for example politics, games, jobs and all the other things like these. We did discuss about a not so good event too which was about an other trainer who came and was not liked by them. Things which I came to know about him and the things that he said and did, they were just beyond my beliefs. I do know that guy and I had heard the similar kind of stories about him in the past as well so it was not a shock for me to hear them again but still, it was a sad thing to hear the same kind of bad words about him from yet another group of guys. At times , some people just don't do justice to what they are doing and what they are supposed to do and bring disgrace to their job and for themselves as well. I refrain myself from commenting about others when asked to comment about their acts but still, I know in my heart that what ever they did , that was just plain wrong and if I would the person in-charge, I would have told them the same in a very hard manner. Anyways, all the delegates were looking happy when they were leaving on the final day and some said ( and wrote) very nice words for me. Some even wrote some things which I don't think I am worthy to be said about but still, I can just say thanks to all of them from the bottom of my heart. My only goal in the program is to make sure that what ever I can give to the delegates in order to make sure that both their time and money spent in the program should be justified, I must give to them. That's what my first and foremost aim while going for a session. If there is a smile over everyone's face at the end of a program, I guess I was able to touch this aim to some extent. The program must go completely fine and if it does go fine, I guess I have done my job in an okay manner. And as all the guys were indeed had a smile on their face, I guess I was able to finish the program on a good note.

There was nothing unusual about the return trip except that my flight got late first for 15 minutes , than 30 and finally for an hour. That would had still been okay but while descending at Delhi airport, I don't know where we landed up  but must be very far from the terminal as we were taxing for about 20 minutes. Even after that, we did stand just like that for almost 10 minutes before finally getting a chance to board down. As I was not feeling well, I was feeling so tired that for the first time I guess , I did have a nap in the flight. By the time we were in the terminal finally, it was already about 12.30am and we were 2 hours late than the actual scheduled time. When I went to get the ticket for the prepaid cab for the bus stand, I was told that one more guy is also going to the same place and if I want, I can share the cab with him. Not an issue with me I said and I asked that guy who readily agreed. While going for the prepaid cab stand, I came to know that he was also going to Ludhiana to attend a wedding of his friend. It was a good and nice coincidence. So both of us went to the bus stand , again talking a lot about almost everything. We got a good bus as well , which was both fast and comfortable. That guy had to go to a place which is very far from where my home is so I had to get down prior to him. It was a nice experience to come along with some one , at least for me it was good as traveling alone is very boring at times. I hope his friend's wedding goes well and he has a pleasant stay here.

So finally I am back home. I can't say that I shall be getting a lot of time to get myself relaxed. Part because of the module that  I have to take up in the next tour. Its a completely new program for me, I have no experience about it and neither do I know about it much too. So this means that I have to sit in these days and have to prepare about it and that means, no time for having fun. Second reason is that I am feeling a bit scared about some things. No its not about the module but about some personal things. I just hope that all goes and stays well. Let's see what happens. I have to attend a meeting tomorrow as well and also have to finish up some modules as soon as possible. Did I say that I am not well too? So this means that things are not going to be that smooth as I want them to be. Anyways, that's for tomorrow. At the moment, its time for me to sleep as I didn't sleep at all since almost last 4 nights. And when you don't get to sleep properly, your eyes don't get open at all any point of time in the day, no matter what happens. So its better that I should go to bed now and say aadios to you all! Catch you soon!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Airport Post....

If you would had thought that this post is going to be about airport than no, that's not the case. Though its true that I am sitting at the new terminal 1-D of Delhi airport which has been just opened for the public but still, this post is not about either the new terminal or the airport. The title is inspired from the thought that as I am over the airport and the writing , so the most suitable title is airport post :-) .

I have just got at the airport and have finished the check-in formalities. As I mentioned, I am at the new terminal , there is wi-if facility over here so I just thought to write a quick post. Travel was okay except in the end when it started raining like cats and dogs. I just quickly grabbed an auto and rushed towards the airport. Other than the rain, there was nothing which was exceptional in the travel. Yes one thing was there that it did appear to be so long this time. I am not sure why it happened though. May be the bus from which I was traveling, that was not too comfortable ( they are never actually ) , that's why it did appear to be so. Anyways, I got at Delhi and at airport without creating any "adventure story" so there are no complains.

Now its still 3 hours for my flight. So what one person can do when there is so much time left for the flight and he is traveling all alone? Well nothing much actually. So I am going to listen to some songs, have a quick bite of some thing( there are many food outlets) and do one of my favorite things, looking at the people and their acts. That's the best thing to do when you don't have anything else to do. Am I not going to read oracle stuff? No , not at the moment  because I am not in the right state of the mind , thanks to the act and deeds of some people. I won't be mentioning about this over here as this would need not just one but couple of posts, so about this later. At the moment, its eating time!

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Yes Its Da Time….

Well, I am sure you must have got the idea already what this post is going to be all about didn't you? Yes I am leaving tomorrow for another tour. Once again, this is going to be among the toughest ones. And to make things more spicy, the next ones are going to be even more tougher. But as they are a bit far at the moment so I am just going to concentrate on this one first. Hope all goes well and every thing fall at its right place. Pray for me guys and wish me luck. As like always , its so much important for me and I need it so much too!

A Day Spent At ChintaPurni Temple....

I am a big fan of visiting temples and mythological places. If I get a choice to visit between anything else and a temple , I shall pick temple without any second thought. There are some temples which I get to visit once in an year almost for sure. Yes , due to my travels or any other unexpected issues/problems, this routine does get broken at times too , but in my best powers, I shall try to stick to the schedule that I must visit there for at least once in an year. One such place is the temple of Mata Chintpurni. This is the place where my entire family tries to visit. Due to certain medical issues with my parents, now they don't go as often as they used to. Gunjan tries to go as often as possible but she also gets busy with her office. Partly , all of these issues happen with me too but still , I try that these all things won't effect my schedule.

I left early in the morning at 6am because it takes  two buses for me to change in order to at the temple. Despite that I need to travel tomorrow, I decided to go today. Actually, it was planned for yesterday but I got late while getting up. And there is no point to start the travel at 10 or after that for two reasons, one  its becoming hotter and hotter as the day progresses. Second, and the most important one , the queue over there in the temple becomes so LONG. So I decided to leave early so that I can escape myself from all of these hassles. Well, as like most of the time , when ever I try to escape from some thing, it just comes from somewhere and get a hold of me. The same happened today as well. Though I started early and a result of that, I did reach at the temple early too but I forgot to check that it is full moon night today. This is treated with a very high regard in India when one has to travel to any religious place. Now it happened with me just by pure luck that I was at the temple today but unlike me, I guess many people already knew it and they were there as well, resulting a HUGE rush at the temple. So even though I was at the temple very early, I had to stand in the queue for more than an hour to get pass into the temple. Not an issue with me because I believe when one comes to a place like temple, he must not look at the watch. So I was kind of okay with this standing as well.

In the temple, as like always, the atmosphere was just purely divine. If you happen to visit this temple (and almost any other too), you will be amazed with the sounds of bells, people's voice enchanting the name of god. Its just a unique experience which is very hard to be described in any words. You need to be at that place at that moment to experience it. It was same today as well and as there was so much of rush, all of these enchanting's, they were much high both in volume as well as in pitch. I was alone so I just spent a little time over there in the temple after finishing my prayers. The bus from which I came in the morning, its conductor announced that he would be leaving by 11.30am so in case. someone would want to go back, he can come before this time. By the time  I got free from my prayers, it was about 11.10am. I didn't have my breakfast in the morning so I thought, even if I would skip my breakfast, I still won't be able to make it to the bus as I was at a high height in the temple and it would had taken me  not less than 10 minutes provided I had ran not walked. So I decided to have my breakfast and than leave for home. There are many places over there where one can have very nice meal. I went to the place where I normally go all the time as they serve very nice Punjabi dishes. I didn't have proper lunch as I wanted to have it at home only. So I just had light breakfast and left for the bus stand in the hope that I would get some bus which would be leaving immediately. And guess what, there was one which was supposed to leave in just 10 minutes, luck some times smiles too :-) .

By the time I had started back for home, it was already 12pm and the day had become much hotter. Other than that the day had become much hotter, there wasn't anything exceptional which did happen on my way back. Its always the case that when you are going towards the temple, because of its height( its on a mountain) , it takes more time. On the way back the same travel time comes to almost 75% of the original because of the high speed that you get while coming down. I expected to get back home by 2pm but thanks to the election time and heavy campaigns going on because of it all over the place, I was welcomed by a huge traffic jam near to Hoshiarpur. We waited over there for almost an hour for the traffic to dissolve. So finally I got back at home at about 4pm. I was dead tired but I had to rush immediately to get the prints of my tickets for tomorrow's travel. About that, later but for the moment, I am feeling both happy and satisfied that I was able to go the temple. Its a saying here that one can't go to these temples as long as he/she is not really called over there and if you ask me , I do believe on this very much. So I am happy I was able to go there to do my prayers. If you ever get a chance to come there, make sure don't miss it. Take my words, you would have an unforgettable experience and to make it certain, do invite me with you as well :-) !

Friday, May 08, 2009

A Feeling….

I haven't written anything since some time. Now, its not good to say that I didn't or couldn't write because I was very busy and didn't have time to do writing. There is no such thing. If one can come and write this much that he/she didn't have time to write, he surely can use the same time to actually write some thing as well. So I am not going to give this excuse , not just because its not right but its not the reason actually in my case. Contrary to others who say/write it, I did( still do) have so much of time. I am at home and am not doing anything so important as well, so I am almost free. Yet I didn't write because some where, some thing in side is hurting and is hurting so much badly! Some thing is broken so deep inside and pain of that hurts with every breath. What is the reason , you may ask. And the answer of that partly is , I don't know and partly, I can't mention. All I can say is at times, only those hurt you whom you never expect to do so. If some stranger hurts you, it doesn't give that much pain as it is caused by those who are nears and dears of you. And it becomes more worse to see it happening when there is no fault of yours , there is no reason that you should be punished like this! But despite of whatever you may wish/say, it still does happen and all you are left to do is to make sure you wipe your eyes before any one can see the wetness of them and put a smile over the face. A tough , very tough thing to do when all you want to do is just sit and cry, expecting that it may help reduce the pain some what but alas, all you see is like all others, tears too play games with you and don't come at times , leaving you just sitting all alone by yourself, making you realize that at times, even your own shadow/tears can deceive, let alone be humans who are doing this all the time and feel no regrets about it. A sad but true fact of life!

Monday, May 04, 2009

In The Hospital Again….

I mentioned few days back here that one of my good friends got hospitalized and was very serious. Fortunately, after some days , his condition started becoming better and he got shifted to normal room from ICU and later, got a discharge as well. Sadly, yesterday evening , his condition became critical again when he suddenly got a fever of 108 degrees and got his breathing stopped. He was immediately brought back to the emergency ICU where he is since then. I visited to him in the morning today. It just broke the heart of mine in pieces when I came to know from his elder brother that yesterday he left complete hope and started saying, I am not going to stay anymore and would die now anytime soon. With a little daughter and wife in his family, even this thought is so much horrifying that what would happen to both of them if some thing unfortunate happens to him! I said to him in the morning that he must has to be strong, if not for anyone else but for his own family as they have no one else except him. He is suffering from Typhoid. So his blood cells are also very less, in the morning they were just 87k while a normal person would need some what 1.5millions of them.  No words can describe the pain, tension and trauma he and his family is. I just hope that he gets recovered as soon as possible and becomes completely fine. Not sure why  a guy like him is getting so much of suffering? It seems all the pains are meant for just good people, those who are bad, they just enjoy and have fun. Don't what kind of justice is this of god, really don't know!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Finally, A Bit But Still….

I have been saying this from so long that I am asked to get stuff for me but either I skip it or when I go(sent actually) , I just come back without buying anything. So as like we do with the kids when they don't listen to us, we sit with them and make sure that they are doing what we asked them to do, my sis went along with me today to make sure that I must get some thing :-) . And guess what, I had to buy at least because she gave me orders that we are not getting back to home without doing so.

My sis was not having her office today but still she had to go for half of the day to deliver a class. So in the afternoon, I went and picked her up. First thing that we did was that we went for lunch. I normally don't eat from outside when I am alone. Its been years I guess since I have went for  eating out. So for me, this was the most important thing among else everything that me and Gunjan are going for a lunch. We went to a popular eating joint in my city, Saubhagaya which means, fortune! The food over there is always nice and most importantly, despite that its food is excellent, it doesn't get much of the rush because its placed in the basement of a shopping mall. As its not visible when you pass by from it, many people don't even come to know about it for the first time. Anyways, we normally go there so this was another addition to that trend. Food is always nice and so was it today too. There wasn't much of the people over there so we sat there for some time just like that too. Finally, after having a good lunch, it was now time for "mission shopping" :-) .

Gunajn and me are entirely different. Where I shall take a long time to see, decide, reject , again choose, decide, finally make up mind and pick the stuff, she would just look at some stuff, see some this/that and would just decide. So surely enough , it would be a pain to go with someone who would spend entire life to select some thing, you must have got the point whom I am praising so much! She told me to go to a place from where she said we would pick the first of the many items that I had to buy, a pair of formal shoes. My old pair is gone  now, can't say really its throw able but its not wearable either. The biggest issue that I am having with them is that wearing them is making my legs hurt so much and also making me immensely tired at the end of the day. So I was looking for some thing which would take care of the issue that I need to stand up for almost 9 hours and do it again and again , week after week after week. Well, so we went to the first show room. As expected, the attendant did show us (or to be honest, I made him show) so many pairs, of which I selected two. One was from Red Tape, a typical usual design of formal shoes but still it was okay. 2nd one was from Egle , a brand which has just arrived in India but has an awesome product range (and a very expensive one) I must say! Anyways, again me proving to be a fussy-never-satisfied customer, said that we would go and check one more show room before we finally give any of these two a green signal. So we went to Mochi showroom. Again , there were fleet of attendants who rushed towards us to get us a pair of shoes. Once again, I saw lots of pairs and rejected all of them. Finally the guy brought out the same Egle pair which I saw in the previous show room. Now, there was just one another pair which was giving it a competition and normally I would pick among two contestants the strongest one, so I went ahead and gave a nod to Egle! I like the shoe design and leather, its very different from the normal designs that I see people wearing usually. As I mentioned, its VERY expensive too but I guess, the price is still justified giving the sleekness and trendiness its design is having. Over all, a happy customer I am! I forgot some thing here, I haven't mentioned what my sister's reaction was when I was playing this selection-rejection game. She gave me the comment , if she would had been the owner of the showroom, she would had thrown me out of it and would had closed the show room's gates permanently :-) . And she said, if I am going to do the same thing next time, either she will take over the charge of selection or worse, she would not come with me at all. I guess she picking up the stuff would be the best for me!

So after shoes, what was next? Well, before that let me tell you that I was told(ordered) to get couple of trousers and shirts , shoes and whatever else I would want to buy by mom and dad. But I just stopped today at shoes only. Why! Well, I can't mention the reason for  "why" , at least not here. To be honest, I even didn't want to go for these shoes too. I did get them anyways but I just stopped at them only and that's pretty much it. I know, it must be sounding weird but its not, again can't mention the reason here. All I shall say, if one is not happy from inside, outer world's happiness doesn't bring much joys too then and some thing similar is cooking here as well!