Aman's Blog....

At times, no matter how hard you try to portray yourself strong, you shatter at some fine point. That’s the same which happened with me about 3-4 days ago when I attended a function with my mom. In case you don’t know, last year in October, my dad was taken away by God to him. I wrote whatever I could in this post about it. If you would spend time reading the entire post and/or if you know me beyond web, you would know or at least will have an idea that I tried to stay as strong as possible, to even an extent that I am sure some must be wondering that what’s wrong with this guy but there wasn’t anything else that I could afford to do to save my mom and sister. The only hope and strength for them left is me and being that, the last thing I can do is to make them see that I am sad, crying, feeling so scared going out in this world all alone now without my dad watching me. I have tried my best to put a strong face or I can even say, a stone-alike face and trying my best to carry all th...

At times, you stumble across on a song which is going to strike so you hard that it comes on an infinite replay. And its not mandatory that the song must be a very well known too. The same happened with me when I was just now looking for some good, new songs to listen over YouTube . Some how, from various channels, I came across the channel of Falak which is managed by the singer and composer Falak Shabir . Though to be honest, I never did hear of him before but when I listened to some of his songs, I was just stunned and in this listening, I got over this song, Ijazat(Permission) by him which has just hooked to itself that I am listening to it non-stop from last 2 hours! The lyrics and compositing of the song, singing all have come very well. The video of the song is also very unusual(at least in my opinion)  and compliments the song very well. I am not sure that how many would like it so I would not be translating it in English but would share its original lyrics which are in P...

Its 4pm right now and I have just taken medicine for fever. I was looking at the blog of mine and was thinking that I thought I shall write about some things but then, despite that I am at home since last 4 days, its not been possible for me to do because of one thing or the other coming up. Last 3 days were extremely busy as there were few functions that me and mom had to attend. Last night, mom was not well at all. She could manage to sleep at about 6am only and at the same time only I slept too. How am I? Well, I am not feeling so well either but that’s okay.  Even today, in about 3 hours from now, me and mom shall be going to out of station to attend a function at my sister’s home and we shall be staying there for the night. So, in short there is no time for a long post to come. But still, I have just read  two very short but very deep and true-to-life poetry pieces which I liked so much and thought to share. Both are in Hindi and I shall be translating them in English as ...

At times, you come across some things which make you stand still for a moment and force you to give a deep thought about what you have just read or saw. I just read something so similar like this which I am putting down here. Have a read, You say that you the love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains... You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines... You say that you love the wind, But you close your windows when wind blows... This is why I am afraid; You say that you love me too! A lot of people say that they love someone not knowing that its the most easiest thing to say but the most toughest to show and prove. There are very very few in this world who would dare to give their all for the sake of the love and for their beloved. Most of the people would think from mind and not from heart when it comes to take a decision and mind always evaluates pros and cons, profits and losses than ...

I am a techie, a hard-core techie guy but still, I don’t like too many bells and whistles to be added-just for the sake of adding them. Facebook has done the same with my profile using the (stupid) Timeline . I didn’t choose to go for it but then, my account was migrated to it by force this month. And following the forceful “updates” , Blogger platform has also started to tell me now in the dashboard that in this month, the blogging interface that I use, which you are seeing now, is going to get a MAJOR facelift and whether I like it or not, my account is going to get updated for the same in this very month only. And this post from the Blogger team confirmed the same too. Not a good thing, if you ask me. I am sure it must be good but, strictly speaking of me and me only, I don’t like it and I don’t want it but I can’t do anything about it either! So folks, if you are here, in the next coming days, a major change is going to hit me in terms of look-feel of this blog of mine and als...

If you are a regular here, you must be aware that how big fan I am of Ahmad Faraz . There has been several posts where I have put across some of his poetry and if you do understand deep and meaningful poetry, I am sure you must have liked it too. So keeping the trend alive, here is a short but awesome poetic marvel written by Faraz, Yeh bhi achha hua ki usse paa na sake Faraaz, Humara ho ke agar bichharta to shayad qayamat hoti! This time, I won’t be doing its translation in English and neither would be explaining its actual or real meaning. But yes, that’s for sure that like all of Faraz’s work, the meaning of these two lines is far more deeper and would be a little tough to grasp for many.

Those who know me beyond web(and some who know me via web too) are well aware about my liking of Punjabi music and when it comes to it it, I don’t like at all the crap which is now being added by the Hindi language movie makers-a Punjabi song just for the sake of having it within the movie. And what makes me even more mad is that how crazy people go for such 3rd class songs and think that’s the Punjabi music and culture is all about. News flash folks, its NOT what Punjabi music is all about and definitely not Punjab’s culture. Okay may be I shall write another post about this topic some other time. The current post is actually about a movie song and may appear as a surprise to many, a song which I actually did like. Vicky Donor   is an upcoming movie starring a new completely new team of actors in it. I am not sure( or concerned) that how good(or bad) the movie is going to be neither about its success but I somehow stumbled on one song of it today, Pani Da Rang which is sung by t...

So here I am, stuck up here at for another weekend over which I am not going to do anything except sitting in my room and trying to pass the time thinking about tons of things and yes, being so angry over this that tomorrow, for a very special occasion, where I really wanted to be, I won’t be able to show up. Sigh! Since I can’t do anything else, probably, I shall spend some time reading about a topic that I am trying to understand and also would listen to some music. Just had breakfast(yeah, I know a little late but what the hell, its weekend isn’t it) so that’s the best to do I believe in order to pass time.

Its Saturday here and I have got two days of this weekend free with me before I shall start the next week and continue the session of mine which started on this Wednesday. There is nothing that I have in mind that how would I spend this weekend of mine at the moment and looking at the series of the small events happening since morning, I doubt that it would go very well. I started the day by doing the usual chores of mine-checking my emails, looking at OTN forums and listening/searching for new songs that I can listen on YouTube . While doing the 3rd task, I stumbled on a song sung by Kamal Heer (brother of Manmohan Waris and Sangtar Heer ) which he sung while performing at Melbourne in 2011,on the occasion of the show Punjabi Virsa . I am sure that the other songs also would be very nice but the one which I heard today, shook me up completely for not one but many reasons. The song has also come up very nice, in fact its too emotional and touchy song and you would truly feel th...

And another week starts from today, with another session and with a new batch of delegates. Actually the week started off yesterday itself when I started of from my home. Anyways, there was nothing unusual with the travel. I started of at 6am from my home and got the bus almost right at the time when I reached the bus stand. That was the good part. The bad part was that I got a seat where I couldn’t sleep at all as it’s not allowed. Its the seat right besides the driver and its not allowed, even in the public buses to fall asleep. Normally this wouldn’t be much of an issue but as I hadn’t slept from last 2 nights straight, this did become a very big issue for me. Its much harder to stay awake when you want to sleep and when you are told to do so. Somehow, 7 hours did pass and I finally reached the airport. Since I went there on a public auto-rickshaw, I had to take the airport bus to reach the departure terminal. All was good except that I put my bag just across the gate of the bus and...

Its now that I have finally sat with a little bit of free time after spending the entire doing tons of the things. As it is Monday today and I do fast on Mondays, the entire day went without having anything at all too, making it even more tougher than the usual. Even more,I am not feeling so well. AND even more, I am going on a travel tomorrow which is actually driving me crazy because of my mom. The day started quite late since mom wasn’t well at all and she was finally able to get some sleep at about 3am only. I slept at about 4am and since I had to do many things today, I woke up at about 8am. My cousin sister is visiting here since my sister has gone back to her in-laws home the other day. Though I wanted to start off early for all the tasks but then me, mom and my sister were caught up in a discussion and that took a while to get finished. After about an hour or so of talking, finally I went to temple and then left to city for a long day. There were couple of tasks to be done re...

I was going to write about some other things but then I read the below two small poetic masterpieces and I decided to put those two here first. Needless to mention that I really liked both. So here goes the first one, Us ke chehre ke sanjeedagi batati hai, Usko hasne ka shauq tha pehle!   And its translation in English is, His face’s seriousness just shows, He was fond of smiling some time back!   Now 2nd and my favorite, Kyun aaj uska jikr mujhe khush na kar saka, Kyun aaj uska naam mera dil dukha gaya?   And its translation in English is, Why today talks about her didn’t make me happy, Why today her name did give my heart so much of pain! Superb, just superb isn’t it!

Its 1:45pm and I am sitting here in the room where I am conducting this week’s session. Nothing specific or worth to mention about. Its just another new week with another new session and with another group of people. In short, the usual Monday for me. I am fasting today so there is no lunch that I have to go and eat today. I shall have something may be in the evening but for now, nothing. Its been 6 weeks that I am in the sessions. The last week’s session was short ( for 2 days only) but still, there was work to do, a lot of work to do in fact! The whole week, where it went , I have no idea. All I know is that I just could a break for 3 days and after that, I was back in the session. Though I am not (yet) at that point where I am going to be feeling that I am completely being insane but its still a lot of work and some how, my mind is just not in the right state at the moment. I was looking at the blog of mine and was thinking that its very less that I wrote in the past few weeks and...

I am sitting here in my session room. Finally, this week is also finished and as I said, I am not feeling so happy about it. Some how, I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be a smooth ride at all and that’s the same which happened. Right from the travel to the hotel and now, even to the session, anything and everything was a bumpy ride. I am sitting here in my room alone now trying to spend some time alone with myself and also trying to think about everything(and writing it here too) and as I said, I am not feeling so happy. To be honest, I am feeling so damn angry! For this week’s session, I had to come to Singapore(where I am right now). Besides the long flight, I was having another two week’s session at Banglore. My flight was supposed to fly from Delhi to Singapore in the morning 7am. Now, whenever this is the case that I have to travel in the morning, I never can get to sleep. You may call it extremely stupid but I always think that I may not wake up and shall miss the flight. So I ...

Its been three weeks that I am on the roads and haven’t got  a chance to go back to my home even for a day. Moreover, those who are frequent here , they must have noticed that I am not writing much as well. Well, there is a reason for it and that is that I am actually feeling super lost in many many thoughts and worries. I wish I could put them across here but I can’t and to make things more complex, I have had a really busy time in the past 3 weeks. But all said and done, I am feeling happy, in fact quite happy today and that’s why I decided that I shall be sitting and writing about it. Hopefully, I shall be more consistent in writing from now on, at least I shall try for sure to do so. I just have come back after finishing this week’s session. Its the same module which I took last week as well at a different location. I always say that for me, its very important to know that how I have performed in my session. Many people do tell me that I shouldn’t be much worried about myself...

Its been more than a month that I have written anything. In case anyone remembers, I had my birthday on the 22nd of January and I thought I shall write about it and mention it on that day but there was a lots of tension (and still there is) at home at that time so I just dropped the idea. Though it was a day filled with so much of (silent) chaos, two friends of mine made my day. One ordered and sent for me a cake at my home in the mid night and another brought a cake for me to cut at home. I can’t say enough thanks to both to make me , mom and my sister smile despite all the tensions and bad things happening. And I also can’t say enough thanks to all those many friends of mine who did send me their wishes through various other methods. Thank you so much guys. Its you only who keep me going in the tough times and I can just say this thanks to you, that’s all! And to show the proof that I was really happy, here is the link for the pictures taken at that time. Yes, its me covered comple...

So an another year is on the verge of being over and another new year is knocking on the door. Its that time of the year again to say goodbye to the old one and welcoming the new one with the open arms with a hope that it would bring a lot of happiness, success and good health for all of us. I am not feeling well at the moment, thanks to a stupid driver who knocked me off over the road while driving his car and talking over his cell phone. Anyways, that’s not a very new thing to happen with me isn’t it ? This year, 2011, has given me some joys and memories which I shall cherish all of my life. I can’t say that how happy  I was in the month of May when my sister got married! God has been kind to all of us that she has got to such a good family. But at the same time, this year has given me the worst of the pains and cries as well, something for which I can’t do anything except just keeping myself quite and pretending to act strong. Not just for me, but this year has given to all in...

I just read the below line and it just shook me up! How can one write in such few words such a pain, that’s just beyond my imagination! Have a read, Usne ponchhe hi nahin ashq meri aankhon se, Maine khud ro kar bahot der hasaya tha jise! And its meaning in English is, She didn’t wipe tears off from my eyes, for whom I cried so much to make her smile! Yes, that’s a hard, painful truth of this life and of the people of this world! In this world, people have no time to care about someone else’s happiness, smiles, pains or tears because its actually important and required to be “practical” for them to achieve their own goals first, make their own dreams of a better career, study in abroad etc to come true. Anything and anyone else doesn’t matter in all this!

I started writing this post in my last visit to Thailand, which happened few days ago. I still couldn’t finish it. So whenever  I could sit for some time, I tried to write and finally, brought the post to an end. I haven’t checked it for any typos and/or other mistakes. I shall finish the reading of it again some other time and shall do any corrections too if needed. I am sitting here in my class room at Oracle’s Thailand office at Crowne Plaza after finishing my session, wondering what I should be feeling, happiness that I finished the session with EXTREMELY good rating or sad since thinking that I won’t be able to share the news with my dad like I always did today(and ever) . Just the same thing that I have in my mind for the year 2011, not sure should I be happy about it or should I mark it as one of the saddest years of my life, a year in which my dad has left me and my family for forever and has gone to that God whom he prayed and worshipped all his life, who didn’t even g...