Aman's Blog....

Its Saturday here and I have got two days of this weekend free with me before I shall start the next week and continue the session of mine which started on this Wednesday. There is nothing that I have in mind that how would I spend this weekend of mine at the moment and looking at the series of the small events happening since morning, I doubt that it would go very well. I started the day by doing the usual chores of mine-checking my emails, looking at OTN forums and listening/searching for new songs that I can listen on YouTube . While doing the 3rd task, I stumbled on a song sung by Kamal Heer (brother of Manmohan Waris and Sangtar Heer ) which he sung while performing at Melbourne in 2011,on the occasion of the show Punjabi Virsa . I am sure that the other songs also would be very nice but the one which I heard today, shook me up completely for not one but many reasons. The song has also come up very nice, in fact its too emotional and touchy song and you would truly feel th...

And another week starts from today, with another session and with a new batch of delegates. Actually the week started off yesterday itself when I started of from my home. Anyways, there was nothing unusual with the travel. I started of at 6am from my home and got the bus almost right at the time when I reached the bus stand. That was the good part. The bad part was that I got a seat where I couldn’t sleep at all as it’s not allowed. Its the seat right besides the driver and its not allowed, even in the public buses to fall asleep. Normally this wouldn’t be much of an issue but as I hadn’t slept from last 2 nights straight, this did become a very big issue for me. Its much harder to stay awake when you want to sleep and when you are told to do so. Somehow, 7 hours did pass and I finally reached the airport. Since I went there on a public auto-rickshaw, I had to take the airport bus to reach the departure terminal. All was good except that I put my bag just across the gate of the bus and...

Its now that I have finally sat with a little bit of free time after spending the entire doing tons of the things. As it is Monday today and I do fast on Mondays, the entire day went without having anything at all too, making it even more tougher than the usual. Even more,I am not feeling so well. AND even more, I am going on a travel tomorrow which is actually driving me crazy because of my mom. The day started quite late since mom wasn’t well at all and she was finally able to get some sleep at about 3am only. I slept at about 4am and since I had to do many things today, I woke up at about 8am. My cousin sister is visiting here since my sister has gone back to her in-laws home the other day. Though I wanted to start off early for all the tasks but then me, mom and my sister were caught up in a discussion and that took a while to get finished. After about an hour or so of talking, finally I went to temple and then left to city for a long day. There were couple of tasks to be done re...

I was going to write about some other things but then I read the below two small poetic masterpieces and I decided to put those two here first. Needless to mention that I really liked both. So here goes the first one, Us ke chehre ke sanjeedagi batati hai, Usko hasne ka shauq tha pehle!   And its translation in English is, His face’s seriousness just shows, He was fond of smiling some time back!   Now 2nd and my favorite, Kyun aaj uska jikr mujhe khush na kar saka, Kyun aaj uska naam mera dil dukha gaya?   And its translation in English is, Why today talks about her didn’t make me happy, Why today her name did give my heart so much of pain! Superb, just superb isn’t it!

Its 1:45pm and I am sitting here in the room where I am conducting this week’s session. Nothing specific or worth to mention about. Its just another new week with another new session and with another group of people. In short, the usual Monday for me. I am fasting today so there is no lunch that I have to go and eat today. I shall have something may be in the evening but for now, nothing. Its been 6 weeks that I am in the sessions. The last week’s session was short ( for 2 days only) but still, there was work to do, a lot of work to do in fact! The whole week, where it went , I have no idea. All I know is that I just could a break for 3 days and after that, I was back in the session. Though I am not (yet) at that point where I am going to be feeling that I am completely being insane but its still a lot of work and some how, my mind is just not in the right state at the moment. I was looking at the blog of mine and was thinking that its very less that I wrote in the past few weeks and...

I am sitting here in my session room. Finally, this week is also finished and as I said, I am not feeling so happy about it. Some how, I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be a smooth ride at all and that’s the same which happened. Right from the travel to the hotel and now, even to the session, anything and everything was a bumpy ride. I am sitting here in my room alone now trying to spend some time alone with myself and also trying to think about everything(and writing it here too) and as I said, I am not feeling so happy. To be honest, I am feeling so damn angry! For this week’s session, I had to come to Singapore(where I am right now). Besides the long flight, I was having another two week’s session at Banglore. My flight was supposed to fly from Delhi to Singapore in the morning 7am. Now, whenever this is the case that I have to travel in the morning, I never can get to sleep. You may call it extremely stupid but I always think that I may not wake up and shall miss the flight. So I ...

Its been three weeks that I am on the roads and haven’t got  a chance to go back to my home even for a day. Moreover, those who are frequent here , they must have noticed that I am not writing much as well. Well, there is a reason for it and that is that I am actually feeling super lost in many many thoughts and worries. I wish I could put them across here but I can’t and to make things more complex, I have had a really busy time in the past 3 weeks. But all said and done, I am feeling happy, in fact quite happy today and that’s why I decided that I shall be sitting and writing about it. Hopefully, I shall be more consistent in writing from now on, at least I shall try for sure to do so. I just have come back after finishing this week’s session. Its the same module which I took last week as well at a different location. I always say that for me, its very important to know that how I have performed in my session. Many people do tell me that I shouldn’t be much worried about myself...

Its been more than a month that I have written anything. In case anyone remembers, I had my birthday on the 22nd of January and I thought I shall write about it and mention it on that day but there was a lots of tension (and still there is) at home at that time so I just dropped the idea. Though it was a day filled with so much of (silent) chaos, two friends of mine made my day. One ordered and sent for me a cake at my home in the mid night and another brought a cake for me to cut at home. I can’t say enough thanks to both to make me , mom and my sister smile despite all the tensions and bad things happening. And I also can’t say enough thanks to all those many friends of mine who did send me their wishes through various other methods. Thank you so much guys. Its you only who keep me going in the tough times and I can just say this thanks to you, that’s all! And to show the proof that I was really happy, here is the link for the pictures taken at that time. Yes, its me covered comple...

So an another year is on the verge of being over and another new year is knocking on the door. Its that time of the year again to say goodbye to the old one and welcoming the new one with the open arms with a hope that it would bring a lot of happiness, success and good health for all of us. I am not feeling well at the moment, thanks to a stupid driver who knocked me off over the road while driving his car and talking over his cell phone. Anyways, that’s not a very new thing to happen with me isn’t it ? This year, 2011, has given me some joys and memories which I shall cherish all of my life. I can’t say that how happy  I was in the month of May when my sister got married! God has been kind to all of us that she has got to such a good family. But at the same time, this year has given me the worst of the pains and cries as well, something for which I can’t do anything except just keeping myself quite and pretending to act strong. Not just for me, but this year has given to all in...

I just read the below line and it just shook me up! How can one write in such few words such a pain, that’s just beyond my imagination! Have a read, Usne ponchhe hi nahin ashq meri aankhon se, Maine khud ro kar bahot der hasaya tha jise! And its meaning in English is, She didn’t wipe tears off from my eyes, for whom I cried so much to make her smile! Yes, that’s a hard, painful truth of this life and of the people of this world! In this world, people have no time to care about someone else’s happiness, smiles, pains or tears because its actually important and required to be “practical” for them to achieve their own goals first, make their own dreams of a better career, study in abroad etc to come true. Anything and anyone else doesn’t matter in all this!

I started writing this post in my last visit to Thailand, which happened few days ago. I still couldn’t finish it. So whenever  I could sit for some time, I tried to write and finally, brought the post to an end. I haven’t checked it for any typos and/or other mistakes. I shall finish the reading of it again some other time and shall do any corrections too if needed. I am sitting here in my class room at Oracle’s Thailand office at Crowne Plaza after finishing my session, wondering what I should be feeling, happiness that I finished the session with EXTREMELY good rating or sad since thinking that I won’t be able to share the news with my dad like I always did today(and ever) . Just the same thing that I have in my mind for the year 2011, not sure should I be happy about it or should I mark it as one of the saddest years of my life, a year in which my dad has left me and my family for forever and has gone to that God whom he prayed and worshipped all his life, who didn’t even g...

This is a test post

I just happened to read the below two lines and right away, it just hit on my heart so hard that I immediately thought to share them right away. Have a read, Us ki khwahish thi ke meri aankhon mein paani dekhe, Main us waqt se aansuon ka sailab liye firta hoon!   And its translation in English is, She had a wish that she could see water in my eyes, I wander around carrying an ocean of tears since that time!   Nothing to say, nothing to add except one word, awesome or may be two, true !

Its been quite some time that I have mentioned any song over here. To be honest, I didn’t bother about any since the past few days. Though there has been a burst of new songs all the times but there is one which I really liked. I have felt so often that when you are sad and all broken from inside, all of a sudden you hear something which somehow expresses very closely what you are feeling and also, makes you sit and think millions of the thoughts. The same happened with just now when I heard the latest song from Amrinder G ill (you can also check this wikipedia link ) Judaa ! I saw a promo of it over a music channel and after that, I was so keen to listen the complete song and was blown away when I did hear it! Amrinder Gill needs no introduction. I have met him personally over Bombay airport couple of years back and had spent about 2 hours. Besides being a very good singer, he is a very simple human being as well. I have already mentioned his song Afwah in this blog post . The song...

I am sitting at my home at the moment. Last night had been so very tough, more than I can express. I am not sure that why life has to be so tough, what’s so wrong I have done with anyone, to that god that he has opened a box full of troubles/issues for me and it seems, he has just completely forgotten about doing so too! I am not writing often at the moment. If you are  a regular here, you would  have an indication that things are not all well by my side. Actually, that’s a pretty simplistic statement to make. The more appropriate statement would be that at moments, I am just unable to handle what’s going on? As I had mentioned already somewhere, I have got a draft post lying in my folder which would tell the reason of my of current state. Though I had started writing it few days back when I left out for a travel . I have written few words but I think I have left more than I have said. I, somehow, can’t sit and complete that post in one go. Yes, I am trying but every time, I...

I believe, it won’t be any new thing if I shall mention that I am not feeling well, both physically and mentally. People are coming and telling me that God gives tough times to test your strength and patience and after tough times only, good times come. Well, I am not sure that I am anymore willing to know the results of this so called test of God because I believe, in my case, he is conducting this damn test from last 30 years and I yet have to see either the result of it or the arrival of so-called “good times” . Rather than these two, I just wish I can meet God and can ask him some questions whose answers are long due with him and I am sure, he will be having tough time to explain the answers. Though I am not in a good mood at all but still, this post is not going to be about either the upset mood of mine or about the reason(s) behind it. I have started writing it already in my last travel. I couldn’t complete it at that time because it was becoming impossible for me to control my...

I am sitting here in front of the system from more than an hour now. All I have done so far is to write about 3-4 lines and then deleted them and rewrote them again, that’s all! Somehow, am just not able to do two things, one, find the right words to put across and second, stop the tears which just start dropping, at the start of the first sentence even and I can’t cry, haven’t at all even when I want to so very very much, still didn’t cry at all! Reason? Because I am at home right now and I can’t make the conditions more worse than what they are right now with me showing tears in my eyes. I promised myself that I won’t cry just for this very reason only and that God(if he is there anywhere in real, some thing which I really doubt about now) is my witness if none else that I truly didn’t and neither have talked/shared with anyone what is going on in my mind and heart and how much upset, sad and broken I am feeling, even haven’t said this that just give me shoulder to rest my head and l...

I haven’t posted anything on my blog since last 22 days. Even when I do, its not some world changing thoughts but snippets of my thoughts and excerpts of my life. I have got some emails from few readers asking me that since there is no update, am I alright and is everything fine by my side? Well, first of all, I never did know that there would be few people from around the world, who would even notice this for a blog like mine and would be concerned about my well being! All I can say is thanks for showing this much concern, it means so much to me! And about me being okay, I am not sure about that but yes, I am still alive and hopefully soon enough, I shall update the blog with the reason of my silence but not sure when, to be honest!

I am sitting here in my hotel room right now. Its weekend and though yesterday, I was at my friend’s place, I came back to my hotel as I had to finish an exam which would be conducted for the delegates after the end of the session. Since morning, I had been working on it and its over now. I am personally not in favor of such exams and that too right after the end of the session but since its a boot camp program, a test is mandatory to know the progress that the delegates has made. Hope they would be doing good in it and as I told them, I haven’t made it an easy one. Hope the delegates won’t curse me after seeing it! They are really good and its so good to see such bright individuals starting their careers and what more better can be than being with them, even just for a while in the starting of this long journey contributing a little from my side with whatever little I know, isn’t it! Since I am done with the preparation of the test, there is nothing much to do at the moment for me. ...