Friday, April 30, 2010

Thoughts , Thoughts, Thoughts….

I got back home yesterday. I can’t say that how much relief I am feeling after coming back home. I don’t know why but this time, even when I was out for just 10days unlike the last trip, where I was out for more than a month, still I was feeling so restless and just wanted to fly back to home ASAP! One reason for this,  I guess is the anxiety and restlessness that I am having in my mind thinking and worrying about those so many thoughts which are constantly moving around in my mind. I had a long talk with my mom yesterday about the issues. Though I did assure her that all would go fine as well as told her not to worry, the fact of the matter is that whatever is happening is actually a matter of worry and concern. I really feel so helpless when I see trouble coming from those people about whom, I can’t do a damn thing and since I can’t see my mom in tension, its making me much more mad and upset at the moment! Just hope and wish that all would go fine, not sure when it would happen though!

Though I am at home, still there are tons of things that I have in my hands that I need to finish. Too bad that the number of things I have to finish and number of days that I have are completely not matching! Sigh! I don’t know what would happen and how should I plan anything! Seems that there is so much around me to do but I am not able to do anything at all. Or may be I am just doing too many things and have lost count (and control) of the number. I need a planner with me or better, a secretary may be :-) !

And before I sign off, I just recall that I need to write a very important email to someone, reading which he would be having a heart attack as well as would be burning with tension! I am not happy doing so but at times, one needs to do what he needs to do and especially when he has always thought about others except himself, finally when he is getting an opportunity, he should do his best to grab it irrespective of what others would feel or say! All the time, I have seen people around me doing this only, looking for just for what they need and wan! Be it a better career, opportunity to study abroad,  better life and tons of things like this only! This person who would receive this ‘shocking’ email, is no different too. When others don’t think or bother, I must stop doing it, at least when it includes opportunities which would be difficult for me to get if I would miss them now! Its my fate that even when others do wrong things, its me only who would get all the blames in the end! If I have to get the blames anyways, why not I do that thing in the first place? And I am going to do the same this time!


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