Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Tired, Upset & Sick….

No, all these words are not for rhyme. I am experiencing all the above mentioned things, right at the same moment! I am at Sidhu’s place, after so many days, a place where I did have some good food and felt a bit better after so much of stress, tensions and to put the last cherry on the cake, sickness which is still there.


I have just finished the session today. Needless to mention that one when is travelling from couple of weeks( this is the 5th week) , its just simply obvious that he is going to end up, not being just tired but like DEAD TIRED! And I am the same kind of tired at the moment. But that too is not such a big thing for me because at the moment, there is some thing which is going on in my mind and that is the reason for me being upset as well. Some how, some way, its just always that due to others and just due to other people only I get the maximum tensions, pains and needless to say, upsetting feelings and today was no exception to this tradition. I am not well( read below to know why I am saying this) and due to my sickness, it actually was just so much hard for me to deliver the session at all, especially in this week. But if you know me, you must be aware about this fact about Aman that he never gives up, especially when there is a moment of responsibility. So I didn’t even mention this thing to the delegates and to anyone else too. Only my family members are aware that what I am going through health wise yet I tried my best to make sure that the session goes well and it did happen. I was fortunate enough to hear some really good and kind comments from few delegates for which I am really not worthy but just can say thanks in return. Anyways, all can’t go well and just the same happened. I can’t mention here the exact thing as this would just bring more flames for me and I am in no mood to get any more “false” blames over my head when in real, I have nothing to do with the issue in any damn way whatsoever! But still, just to be precise, I am accounted responsible for something for which I am not at all accountable. But no one is listening and despite that I have got such a good rating, that all is over shadowed by a stupid, really stupid issue which is not even remotely related to Oracle but is of logistics. Wish life could think of being a bit kind for me, not asking for a lot but just a bit only! Is it just too much to ask for or I am not just worthy to have any moment of smiles at all, not sure!


From the last 4 days, I am having just so much of pain in my throat. And its not pain, its actually making me not able to speak at all. Even speaking few words is like killing me. Now you understand why I mentioned that it was much harder for me to deliver the session! And I have no idea what has happened as well and neither I had any time to go and get myself checked up as well. And just to make things spicy, some one mentioned a really scary cause which I am just hoping is not true because if that’s true, I may be a guest of just few days over this planet earth :-) . Let’s see what happens when I shall finally get some time to go and see a doc.


Its almost midnight and Sidhu is asking me when I shall finish? And even I am feeling so much tired so I shall just go to bed as well. Tomorrow another travel is waiting for me but I am actually looking forward for it as its for home, the sweet home :-) .


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