Monday, January 11, 2010

Mixed Emotions….

Finally, after a long and cold week, I am back at home. If you have read the immediate last post of mine, you would be knowing it that some how , the program went okay. I was thinking that there is another program right away but ( thank god) its not there. So I believe I shall be able to stay at home for few days and won’t have to move around in this REALLY cold weather. I have couple of things lined up for me and I want to finish at least a few in this time period! Its always the best to be at home so yes , am happy!

At times , you meet someone who becomes just like a part of your family. Someone who is always there, someone whom you can rely upon with closed eyes. Some one who gets the rights to scold you, get angry over you and still love you even after doing all this. This bloody world is full of selfish, self-centered people and if there is someone like what I mentioned, one is able to find, he is nothing but extremely lucky! And luck doesn’t smile at you more than once! And I can say that it did smile over me when I met my friend-cum-brother Amandeep when I joined my high school! When I remember it, it appears just like yesterday when I saw a very slim, very naughty and VERY talkative kid who was just kept on talking on god know’s what! We met, become friends and even though,there were some hiccups in Aman’s study, we were always together! No, we ARE together! He became a part of my family and I became of his! I don’t have an elder brother and he filled that vacuum! If you would ask him about me, he would say some thing like this,”Aman, god only can save from him” or anything like that but let me tell you a secret, he cares for me more than anyone he cares of! There is only Amandeep who would tell you that he loves Ludhiana for one more reasons besides being his home town and that’s that he has Aman living there and that Aman is me, just me!  Yes I can put anything on bet for this claim of mine. Even though most of the time he is scolding me and there is nothing wrong because most of the times, I do things to get scolding only but still, he is the only one who loves, cares Aman for whatever he is, whatever he ever was! Nothing ever could change Saini(that’s what I and almost all who know him, call him) , doesn’t matter where he went, whatever he became! With him around, I never did get worried for an instant because I always knew that Saini would take care and he did, he always did! Just a few days  back, I asked him to check back at home because I was traveling. Though he himself is very severely sick, he still drove himself and went to my home! No one, no other damn person ever did anything else except giving excuses for similar sort of things! And that’s the same which I do for Saini as well!  That’s what my buddy Saini is! He got married with a gal from USA! Even his mom and dad are also there and I always knew as well that he would leave, he has to! But I never wanted to imagine that day, that moment when he would be actually leaving. I guess, I didn’t have the courage to see him leaving. But some things are inevitable. Saini called me up last week to tell me that he is flying on this Tuesday, which means tomorrow because his paper work is over! I didn’t know what to say. I was happy, so much happy for him but I was so much sad as well. The only brother I have ever had would leave me now, that mere thought shook me up! I know he would be there but he would still go so much far away, that scary thought sent shivers in my body! He came to see me, my family. I just stood hugging him for don’t know how much time. Tears were there in my eyes and I just so wished that I would not let him go! He promised me he would come back soon, very soon and I am sure he would! But, if you ask me, I am feeling that I have become all alone! I can’t tell in any words this feeling but yes, this is what I am feeling!  But I am happy, just so happy for him. I know how much he struggled, what he went through in his life and I just wish and would pray to god that all that would end now and the biggest among all of this is health which I believe would surely get improve once he would be with his own family. Saini, if you would ever read this, I love you so much yaara! Remember always that Aman is always there for you, for anything and everything! No one would ever take your place and I know, no one would ever be able to take mine as well! I won’t ever say this to you, you know that and I know you won’t ever show me anything as well! I am sorry for all the stupid things I did which made you upset, I am so sorry Saini! Please take good care of yours and get completely fine okay! I love you so much and I shall miss you even much more than that! I know you don’t need words to tell you what you are for me! Just take care of yours okay veere!


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