I Hate This World….

Why it is so that people of this world like to just “get” only? Why it is so that all are just concerned about what they want, what they need, what’s their wishes, what’s their priorities? Why when someone is doing something for them, only then they consider that person’s worth? If he is not able to do at times something, why he is told that he is a no good, not needed and the least needed person on this planet? Why it is this that when someone needs something, then only they recall, even consider that the person is alive but other than that, it doesn’t even matter to them whether he is dead or alive? Why it is that people don’t even try to understand that its not the “asking” all the time, some times “giving” is also which is needed?

There are so many incidents like this which I have seen all the time in my life. But right now, will just mention two. The most recent one happened just few moments ago and the other one, couple of days back.  I called up a friend just now to ask him how he is doing?  Its been a while since I had talked to him, thanks to my work and other things which keep on striking on my mind. I couldn’t speak to him from a long time. When I called today, he was at home. I just asked how the things are and also said sorry that I couldn’t talk to him and tried to tell that its been a rough time for me and its still not over. Though he was there but there was something wrong in the tone of him. He was not talking properly and I could sense that he wasn’t really interested in talking to me. His wife called him from back and asked whose call it is, he told my name and she said something which I couldn’t understand but it wasn’t good, that’s for sure! I asked him how the things are, how’s everyone at home? Well, he was really not sounding happy talking to me and this time, it was almost certain( yes, its that mystical power in us  Aquarians , you can’t hide things from us, even on phone) . He gave a very simple answer that yes, all is good. I was expecting to hear that he was going to say that he is upset that I didn’t call him from long for which he would have been correct too but what he said, just tore me apart! He said, look Aman, there is no match between you and me. I am much better compared to you in everything, be it looks,social status, professional and personal life, everything! I appreciate that you have called but no one in my home likes my company with you and please don’t mind, my wife really doesn’t like me talking to you! So its better that you please don’t call me anymore. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So I am not good enough socially, professionally or personally to be a friend. Hmm yes, he may be right about many things I guess, he is a very rich guy, well settled in his work, has a wife and a son. That’s surely is not comparable to me. But I don’t know how all that matters in friends? Bu I guess that does matter some how and in some way which I surely am not aware of!  There was nothing else left to hear for me, I heard what I had to, said thanks and put down the phone.

Just like this, few days back, I saw a friend online. It was long since I did speak to him too. I don’t come online often. I just checked the messenger for any offline messages if there were any and that’s when I saw him online. I immediately pinged him. Though I got a reply back,but within minutes I came to know that he was not really as happy as I was to see him. He asked me that there is a training requirement in his company so can I handle it? It wasn’t a technology that I know so I said I can’t. I was about to ask how are things and everything but the next thing he said that there is an opening in his company and if I need a job, he can propose my name. I said I shall look to it but I need some time before I can send my resume as I have to do some editing to it. He said, don’t ruin my reputation so put only what you know in the resume. I was so pist off hearing that! All I wanted to do was to add some new things which I learned, about my award and book and also about some certifications and clientele which I have worked for. I never want to be a cause of any one’s disrespect. I asked about a little how is life for which was there was a concise reply, all is fine. He said, I got to go now, send me your resume if you need a job. And I must say,  I was so very upset. I didn’t ping him because I was looking for a job. I was thinking that he would be happy to hear from me. But I was wrong! Needless to say that it did hurt so much! I didn’t have any thing in my mind to take advantage of a friend for a job but I didn’t expect this too that someone whom  I thought as a friend, would think like that for me. Again, looks like that people prefer to be “practical” only. Its just so important to be in this world it seems! I said I have to go, said bye and closed the messenger.

I guess, its just a common way/trend/whatever that there is no such thing in this world like “giving”. And this is all what the people of this world follow too! But not sure why no one does see that its not just always “asking” . “Giving” is something which is much important but is equally harder to do. Its so easy to wish things for yourself but its so hard to fulfill ( or even try doing so) wishes of others, be however big or small they are. But this world’s people seem to be not bothered about it. Yes, I may not be having any good things in me but at least, I don’t do it! Never said to anyone that you are nothing compared to me so I can’t be with you. Never did that!  Never thought that I shall be or I shall not be with someone looking at the “pros and cons” of doing so! If I say “I am with you” then I am and If I say, “I am not” then I am not! I don’t do this that if I won’t see a dream of mine being not getting fulfilled like a better life or a degree in abroad, I shall leave some one or if I know, I shall get benefits like getting a job by being a friend of someone, I shall stick with him! But it seems, its not what the practice of this world now. People stay and leave looking just at what’s important for them, what they need and want and that’s how this world probably goes on at this moment of time! And there is nothing I can do about this world and for its people! I am recalling Jave Akhtar's two lines which probably fit here perfectly,

Abhi zameer mein thodi si jaan baaqi hai,

Abhi humara koi imetehaan baaqi hai!

 

And its meaning in English is,

There is some what life left in my  conscience of mine,

There are still tests that I have to go through!

I don’t know how many more tests and setbacks are left for me. All what comes in mind is just the word, “many” !