Aman's Blog....

Today, I am really being crazy. It's my 3rd post in one single day, never I had written three posts in one day. I am writing this again from my phone and sitting in my car at midnight. If you are a regular here, from last few years, I had not written in months as well. Anyways, enough of the praise, it's not that I had been accolades anyways.  I was at the bridge and was taking a walk on the highway(another first). Like I said, I am not really in my senses so I just took a very impromptu decision and that was drive to Chandigarh. Since I didn't want to visit anyone nor I did want to make anyone aware that I was there. So I decided that I shall go to Elante mall. I had been there before couple of times but this time, I was very late to reach there. I knew how I was looking and though I wasn't worried that whether I shall be allowed to enter or not but I was curious to see reaction of the security and the visitors. Why? Cos I am looking like a jombie. Clothes still are ok...

 Hey there, two posts in a single day, I am on a roll, isn't it? I am sitting here at this bridge. Yeah, again. And it's a canal. Funny like a lot of things, I didn't know that before. Yeah yeah, I know I know, I didn't care. Beat me. I am just really really angry right now. So much that I am not sure that what should I say even? And what's making me even more angry is saying/showing the anger is considered mocking. If you say hey, I am finding this wrong and you are told, well, if you think it's wrong then so be it. Not sure how it should be perceived. You hear something that's probably okay in a casual, fun talk at one fine day, but probably not at some other time. Just because you think it's okay cos you say that, doesn't make it a better hearing for the others at all the times. Just cos you have this that I say this all the time, doesn't make it right to say all the time. I don't believe in saying that look I did this for you/him/her/anyo...

I was not able to sleep and was just laying in bed thinking some thing else. But then, something completely different  did come up and my train of thoughts changed direction So what you do at 430am? Well you start quibbling  your random rambling,what else? And yeah keeping the tradition, typing this post also from the phone. Yeah I know, yet again. Why? Cos I am in bed and I didn't plan for this post. And I am a lazy bum. As I said in the last post, not everyone  says  a lot. And I am definitely one of those who don't say much. Nothing to be proud about but it's what may be introverts or people who haven't had a habit of doing so from the starting, do. Reasons could be whatever but you end up being like more quiet in things in which others are more prominently vocal . And definitely better than you probably ever will be.  But hold on for a moment.  So if you don't say much, where does it makes you stand or how it makes you appear? If you are angry/hurt, you...

Yet again, writing from the phone. Let's see how it goes.  I am sitting along the side of a lake which is about 25kms away from my place. I am here since morning or may be afternoon. I can't really recall when I did come here. It's one of the most calm places that I have around. I haven't been here in a long time, thanks to the lockdown. Today, I didn't really get to think where should I go cos I was (read am) in a very bad mood. Not the kind of angry that I usually be but today, yeah think about that the parameters for the anger management were not working at all. I decided to go to a friend's place, got a comment about it, hearing which I rejected that idea, came to this place and been sitting here ever since.  This place was very nice but now, when I came here today, it's a mess. A lot of construction of the flyovers etc. is going on and it has just ruined the entire beauty. Thankfully, the lake is still there and so is an old bridge. I used to sit on the...

*Rambling* At this moment when I started writing this post,it's 245AM. It's way past anyone's sleep time and yet here, I am sitting in front of the screen and staring at it. I just made myself a cup of Black coffee and to make matters worse, I am so much angry. Soo goodbye sleep, wherever you were already, stay there.  I just posted a  status- Crappy Writer's Dilemma. And what I mean by that was, when you are not good with words( and PJ's), you hit a roadblock. You have a lot in mind but you don't know where to start, what to write and heck, whether you even should? And right now, I am having all the three thoughts in my mind. If you are seeing a trend, yeah you are right, not a good start of the month/year. On a positive note, got to know an alternate career option. Who knows, may be some day? Let's finish the coffee in the meantime.  */Rambling*

If you have been here, you must be aware that when I am extremely upset or sad,I would come down to a park that's nearby to my place. It's been couple of months since I had come here. But here I am again. That doesn't mean that I hadn't been upset in all this time but I hadn't come here or rather couldn't come, due to my travels. But now since the travels are not happening, sitting alone and getting pissed off just didn't work. So I am back to the park. Just been told that why I am sitting here like a senior citizen? Cos I don't have anything else to do right now. Why I am upset? Or better, on whom I am upset with? I am upset with myself. And on an ASCII code number. Yeah nerdy shit but what else you would expect from a nerd? Which ASCII number? 114. So now, go figure, I really don't have much thoughts going on right now since I am too furious. And typing on this damn phone is not helping either. So I shall stop here.