Friday, May 13, 2011

Feeling Relievedd….

There is a saying that behind every successful man, there is a woman. Well, I am not really a successful man so I wont say that that this proverb suits me perfectly. But yes, I can surely say one thing that there is not just one but two women in my life who have always been the pillars of my strength. These two ladies know me more well than anyone else in this world, have seen me in my best and worst times and also, stood with me as well. They guided me, loved me, cared for me and still do in a way that I don’t think anyone else would ever be able to do so. There are so many things of my life which only these two know about. And these two are, my mother and my sister sis. Well, there is one another, third lady who knows most about me. She has seen some of those shades of mine which no one else would ever be allowed to see. In two days and few hours spent on an early morning on the airport, I had told her some of those things, pains, secrets of my life which I never did share neither will ever do with anyone else again. Don’t bother asking who the third lady is because this post is about my sister, about whom I am going to talk about here.
We are just two brother and sister, me and my younger sister sis. Those , who know me more than my professional life and have been given access by me to get a little closer to my personal life( and there are just a handful of such people), they must know this fact that she is a complete contrast to me. Where I am a more calm and quite kind of person, she is a complete party freak, fun loving, always smiling person( not that I don’t smile but it’s much lesser compared to her). For me, the reason to smile is always her. If I see her happy and smile, that’s what I would need for me to smile.There are many things which I can say but as I said, access to that information is not going to be given to anyone so I shall just say this that I never bothered for me to smile or being happy but I did try my best to make her happy and smile, doesn’t matter how tough it was for me to do. That’s the same which I have tried to do for all those whom I have loved and cared. I don’t know how far I have been successful in doing so but that God knows that I did try (and will always keep on doing) my level best for it always. I don’t have  any brother, but for me, she always acted like one. There are just so many incidents that I can say when she acted like a brother for me. Few years back, there was this very cold night of January. After a phone call,  I was sitting on the cold floor, crying while hiding my face in my knees and she came out and took me in. I was crying so much and she just kept consoling me , at the same time, scolding me and at the same time, wiping my tears from the eyes. After few days, I was in the hospital and she was there with me all the time. Two times, one few years back in the past and one just now, second, few months back, I was on the verge of death and I know, she was mad, angry like anything seeing me in that situation. I was hospitalized and she was right there taking care of me and also, scolding me. Don’t ask what were the reasons for me being like that because at the moment, this post is about nothing else but sis. She is the reason that I smile. Looking at her childish acts made me smile so many times. There are tons of times when I have been angry over her too but again, that wasn’t something which ever lasted for more than few hours. You can’t stay angry and mad over someone who is the reason for you to feel alive, feel happy, feel important and for me, one of those VERY few people is my sister sis. Not just that she is my sister, I am saying that she is so much good. She has been working now for almost 10+ years in her profession of make-up and skin and she has proved numerous times that she is so much good in anything and everything that she would get into. There is nothing what makes a parent and a brother more proud than hearing from a third person that your daughter/sister is really good! And guess what, sis made me and our mom,dad hear it countless times and not just for her professional excellence but also for her nature. What more can a brother, parent ask for you may ask after hearing such nice things? Well, there is still one thing which did bother us for a very long time, something which I never talked about with anyone(except  the above mentioned lady) else except my family. And that was about sis’s wedding, a task that can be so massive if you are all alone to handle it.
I haven’t shared this with anyone that how much the thoughts of sis’s wedding made me worried and tensed. There was lots of matchmaking that our parents were doing for this but nothing was getting successful. On top of it, the thoughts of how it would be done was always in my mind. We do say that money is not everything but at some moments, money is indeed the most important thing. Being an elder and only brother, it was mine and only mine, responsibility to get this done in the most perfect manner possible. In the last two years, I worked not just hard but very hard to make sure that I have that much of money to get the wedding arranged of my sister in the best possible manner. But before that, a suitable match was required for her and as like it’s said, “better late than never” , we did find one which is not just suitable but actually one of the best that could be there for sis,  jiju. A very nice, humble, respectful guy who is so down to earth. I couldn’t get much time to spend with him initially but whatever little time I did spend, it was more than enough to tell me that he is the perfect choice for sis. And the same goes for the entire family as well. Even after having a very high status and position in the social circle, they are so loving, caring and down to earth. If you are a brother of a sister, you would understand that how much it means to you and how much you would be happy seeing that your sister is going in such a nice family and all what you can do is to say thanks to that God for being so kind to make it happen for your sister. So the first step was taken and now it was the second (and one of the most important one) which was pending, to arrange the wedding. And I can assure, if you are alone, have never done it before, this can be a real challenge!
I started doing the preparations months before. The very first thing was to select the venue for it. We were expecting a large gathering and I needed to select the venue based on this that it must be spacious enough to cater at least 1000 people easily. Not to forget that I didn’t have countless cash with me to get it done. And it must have to be near to my home as well because being on the other end of the ciry would had created lots of hassle for me. So with these three things in mind, I started the search. After searching and interviewing a lot of venues, I finally zeroed down a good place. Its a very spacious property, is on the national highway . I had a really long meeting with it’s manager Gurmeet Singh and I explained to him all what I needed and how. I must mention, though it’s not cheap but it’s not that costly either that I couldn’t afford it. Gurmeet gave me lots of idea and suggestions. One of the suggestions was to select a good decorator and he suggested me to go the one with whom he has worked with number of times. The guy’s name is Deva and I had a meeting with him few days after. There is a new trend now a days for having a revolving stage (see the video below to know what it means) at the time of Jai Mala. I never knew about it so asked Deva and he said yes, it’s a new trend now and it would be arranged. After selecting other things like color scheme, sitting arrangement and some other decorations, finally we closed the meeting.

The next step was to select the cook and the items that would be there in the menu. Tell you what, if you are going to arrange your own cook, you got TONS of things to do and this includes buying the vegetables, fruits, grocery, milk products and every other thing that’s possibly needed in a wedding. And if you have to buy it on your own, it can be as harder as like climbing Mount Everest. After a lot of research I selected a cook who is in the business from last 40 years. Now he and his son both are running the business of doing the massive cooking in the large functions. I had a meeting with the father in the father-son duo and explained to him that I want nothing but the best for my sister’s wedding and no complaint must come. For which,he assured me that people would ask that who was the cook than giving complaints and that’s the same happened. Though I didn’t have anything except a few rice and vegetable at about 1am in the night, but those who had tasted the food told me that it was really good. Once the cook was selected, the next step was to start doing the purchase of the good and stuff that he and other people needed. And now, I was getting outnumbered since I was only one who had to manage. There came my friends Amandeep(Saini), Arvinder and Sunil to help me out. Me,Arvinder and Sunil went to the vegetable and fruits wholesale market to get the things. Now, both the markets start at 3am in the morning and if you want the best stuff(not the price, there is no negotiation of it in the wholesale market), you must go at that time. I don’t have much of the habit of sleeping now and whatever little sleep I get too, that's gone when I have this thought in my mind that I have to wake up early and go for some work. So I didn’t sleep at all for two days since it took two visits of us to the market to get the complete stuff. I had never done it before and I had never been to that market before. It’s an entirely different world altogether and you need to be having lots of strength to move around in that market, to talk and finalize the deals with the wholesalers. Though we had hired people to carry the vegetable and fruits from the market to our delivery vehicle but we all three were also carrying bags on our shoulders and putting them in the vehicle to get the work done more quickly. It was a really tiring process but we were happy that we could get it done properly and select the stuff that we would like to eat, the best one from the entire market.
There were many small things that we tried to take care about. For example, in the sweets, we had selected ice-cream given that it’s summer time. Now, I had to finalize a supplier for it. We wanted to get the best one and if you want to get the best supplier of a food product, you got to taste their stuff before giving them the order. Well, that’s the same I did. I guess, there is no supplier in my place whom I left spare. There are about 8 suppliers in my place and I went to each and everyone of them, asked them to give me a spoon full to taste their ice-creams. If you are not eating the ice-cream for fun but to inspect, you tend to see a lot of things in that spoon.I learned a lot how it’s prepared and what to check when buying one. Finally, I selected the supplier which has the 2nd highest price in the city but probably the best taste from all. Likewise, in every small thing, which needed attention, was given a handful of it. There was absolutely nothing that I wanted to get out of the track. Me, Arvinder even selected the best of the serving guys and gave them strict instructions that nothing on their end must go wrong. I don’t get angry easily but when I do, its not good and that’s the same I told them. Fortunately, it wasn’t needed on my part to get angry over them since all of them did their work very nicely and efficiently.
You must be wondering that I am mentioning everything but not this that what I did buy for me for the occasion.  sis asked me to get a face clean and facial done(I forgot which one she told me to get) before the wedding. Also, she asked me to get something really nice like a traditional Indian dress for the wedding. Well, I barely got time just enough to get the shave done ( I did it at about 7pm on the day of wedding, took bath at that time too) so there goes the face clean and facial. About the wardrobe, I just bought a suit 2 days prior to the wedding. I have really no idea how the heck I was looking on the wedding night. Yes, I do know that I was full of sweat and was just running from one corner to another, attending everyone. I haven’t got the pics yet. As soon as I shall get them from the photo studio, I shall post them on my Picasa web album and if you do find that in none or most of them, I am not smiling or in a messed up wardrobe like shirt sneaking out of trouser, well just remember that I was doing almost everything and there was little to no time for me to look at myself or care that how I was looking.
The entire event absolutely smoothly. As like always, very few people were left till the end of the ceremony. Sis left at about 5am. As like any brother, there were tears in my eyes too but I did control most of them(couldn’t stop them from coming at all). I couldn’t cry as much as I wanted to because of my mom. She and sis were already crying so much. In fact, sis was crying since the very beginning of the prayers which lasted for about 3 hours. My mom is  a heart patient and I must had to make sure that she wouldn’t get sick or something wrong would happen to her. So even though, I wanted to hug someone so tight and cry my heart, I was just wiping my tears silently. There are so many prices to pay to be an elder and one of them is that you must at least look strong to give strength to others even when you yourself need the most of it.
There is a ceremony called “fera” which means that the brother would bring the sister to her parental home after a day of her wedding for one night and her in-laws would take her back the next day. So me and Saini went the other day to fetch sis back. She stayed for a night and yesterday, her in-laws and Jjju came to take her back to her own home. After that event, there are some other matters which I have to close like paying to all the people and distributing post-wedding gifts to some selected people. It’s almost 7 days that I haven’t slept either not at all or for just an hour or so. My legs, feet are swollen and my good’ol friend, the furious fever , has returned the other day as well. I shall be traveling very soon so I need to get myself in one piece before that. I need some rest but I am not sure that when I shall get that. It’s time to get some tea and then check back first with the photographer about the pics.
It wouldn’t be right to close this post without saying this that I am feeling very relieved and happy that I could do what a brother must do for his sister. I have mentioned just a few of the things but have skipped a lot of details and few secrets that probably would be hidden in my chest for the rest of my life. Since I am elder from both, I shall be there both as long as I am here and I just hope, wish and shall pray to god that he would bless both sis and jiju his choicest blessings and shower so much smiles, happiness and success to both in anything and everything that they would do. Congrats sis(one and first out of those two gals who got this nick name from me) and jiju, I love you both so much!
Last but certainly not the least, thank you S,Athi and S for being there with me when I needed you guys the most. I can’t even try to imagine how would I have fulfilled this massive responsibility without you being by my side. Thank you is not something that I like to hear and say when it comes to those people whom I love and care so much and those who are really close to me. It’s a fact about me that I shall stop you from saying thanks if you are a real close person for me but unfortunately, that’s all I can say right now to you guys since I am out of words. There is nothing that can express to you that how much happy and proud I am to have you guys with me as not just my friends but as like my brothers.


Blogger Bhumika said...

this is simply awesome... seems u are a professional writer..!! i really got all emotional while reading this... :-) kudos!!!!

June 12, 2011 2:08 PM  
Blogger Aman.... said...

Thanks for the kind words Bhoomika :). No, am not any professional writer but I just write what I feel. All what is here over my blog is just a reflection of my thoughts.


June 12, 2011 3:09 PM  

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