Sunday, February 24, 2008

Travel Time....

Yes I am leaving tomorrow. This time the tour is going to be a little bit secondary thing as there is some thing more that is going along with it and I am much more tensed and worried about that. Yes program is the concern as like always. Lets see. Alot of change is expected. Hope it will come and will be for good only. Pray for me and wish me luck guys!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

11g & Me....

Well its been a long time that 11g has released and to be frank, I really could not spend that much time which I thought would spend over it to grab the release 1 features before release 2 comes up. There were all sorts of things happening. My travel, programs, my own problems and so on so  it got little bit behind the schedule. Well I may change what I do at the moment in terms of profession. Things are going on and are under process. Hope everything will fall at its right place at right time. But one thing is for sure that I have got 2 goals in front of me that I have to achieve. What they are I wont talk about them at the moment as its like a common thing for me. Once I say some thing that never happens so let it be a secret sort of thing at the time. When the time is going to come and when I shall think that I am little bit more prepared to tell others, I shall reveal them. Just for the record, it has nothing to do with my personal life. Its all about my professional life. I guess the title of the post was some thing else and I started some thing all together a different story. Ok so we were supposed to talk about me and 11g, how well we are getting along with each other? Well the answer is not so badly :-). Yes I wont say really well but its not getting any step child treatment. Its elder brother 10g has been sent for a vacation for some time and 11g has been given a full fledge apartment so that we can know each other a little bit more and I can understand 11g more deeply. Lets see how many other people I have to refer to actually do this ( the list is not so long but the things to know are too much). So fingers are crossed. I hope it wont take too long. Lets see!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Shael Did It Again....

Love is a beautiful feeling. Some thing that is a divine gift for a person and is priceless more than anything else that one can get. Because we can buy achieve anything by our hard work, buy anything if we have money but we can't buy a loving heart, we can't make some one love us unconditionally by doing any sort of hard work. We can just wish that whom we love, he/she would love us too but we can't ( and we shouldn't too) force him/her to love us. Love is not asking, it is just giving without expecting. But a few expectations are there. It hurts when you wait for someone's call to come and despite being free when the person doesn't call you,it hurts. It hurts so much to stay awake the entire night waiting for a message to come but it never comes. It hurts when you want to wish that person best of luck for something but the other person never cares to look for your calls. It hurts so much when you got hurt by that very person only whom you had loved more than yourself, more than any other thing! It hurts beyond what words are capable to describe. The pain of those eyes who look at you like a joke is not bearable. No one else can understand that pain except the person who have heard those jokes, those insults by his/her friends/close ones. Despite that you have not done anything bad,still your eyes are down and you listen all that, bear all that insult just because that doesn't any difference when that person whom you loved , for whom you tried to do everything have left you in this big world alone. It really hurts!

Some times, some thing that is there with you inside your heart, some thing that you have experienced yourself but which is not describable in words, that only is revealed by a song. Not all the songs do justice to that feeling of pain and the videos of the songs are some times much worse than the song even. But some songs do stand apart from that crowd and leave a mark in your heart. Those are very  few in number but its always better to have quality than quantity right?

Shael Oswal is one singer whose songs I have not liked much in the past. But he sang one song called Hiriye which forced me to change my opinion about his singing and his songs. That song was so close to describe the pain of a broken heart that I wrote few lines over my blog too. Shael has released another album Sun Le Ye Jahan in this year 2008. Once again, he has sung a song Jindhari (meaning life) in it which he has expressed the feelings of a broken heart so truly and deeply. And this time, the video is of as much the same quality as like of song. A guy who has lost his self and has gone insane because of the pain given to him by no one else but his love. What else could be more painful to see that even after all what happened, he still longs for his love to come and see him!

You can watch this song on YouTube here,

The song's lyrics are in Hindi and also there are few dialogues which are there in the video. I shall explain the meanings of these dialogues and the song in English in a while. Here are the dialogues and lyrics in Hindi:

Shael asking  ward boy: Simran ayegi naa aaj!

Ward boy: Haan haan ayegi.

A while later, Shael is standing with the group of doctors:

Shael asking doctor : Simran ayegi naa aaj!

Male doctor to the lady doctor: Tum mental disorder par research kar rahi ho naa.Is se achha case tumhen nahin milega. Pyar mein dhokha khane ke baad insan ki kya haalat ho jati hai, see!

And here are the song's lyrics :

Sooni sonni tere bin jindari sohinye!(repeat)
Sooni sonni tere bin jindari sohinye!(repeat)
Lagda nai,dil eh kahin!
Mar javange kar le yakin!
Rabba mainu yaar mera chahida!
Sooni sonni tere bin jindari,sohinye!(repeat)

Kitti main bhull ki,eh saja mili hai kyun!
Gal sari dass mainu khul ke!
Door kyun hoi in , lai ke sare sapne tun!
Jeevan main kiven in tainu bhull ke!
Oh rutt hasin, yaad aandi e, pal pal meri jaan jandi e!
Rabba mainu yaar mera chahida!
Sooni sonni tere bin jindari,sohinye!(repeat)

Phull ban jo khushi seene vich khilidi c,
Hun dil vich mere chubhadi e!
Lag gayi kisdi eh sade pyar nu najar,
Ajj mere utte dunia hasdi e!
Ki ho gaya , Jind meriye!
Kyon ho gayi, tun variye!
Rabba mainu yaar mera chahida!
Sooni sonni tere bin jindari,sohinye!(repeat)

And here is the meaning of the dialogues and lyrics in English:

Shael asking ward boy : Simran would come naa today!

Ward boy : Yeah yeah she will.

A while later, Shael is standing with the group of doctors:

Shael asking doctor : Simran would come naa today!

Male doctor to the lady doctor: You are doing your research on mental disorder right? You won't find any case better than this for your research. After getting backstabed in love, what can happen to someone see!

And here are the lyrics in English:

My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)
My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)
I don't find peace anywhere,
I shall die without you, please believe me!
God I need my love with me!
My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)

Which crime I did, why I got this punishment!
Tell me everything in detail!
Why did you go far away, taking away all my dreams,happiness with you!
How can I live now forgetting you!
Those happy times, I remember now too,
And with those memories, every moment I am dieing!
God I need my love with me!
My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)

That happiness which was like a flower inside me,
Now it hurts like a thorn in my heart!
God only knows who cursed our love,
But this entire world laughs at me today!
What happened my love,
Why did you only become my enemy!
God I need my love with me!
My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)
My life is empty without you sweetheart!(repeat)

I have no words with me to explain anything further than what is already said in the song. There is nothing more that I can add to it. Just will conclude by  saying this only that  don't hurt that heart who loves you. Love relations are not so easy to maintain. It takes a lot to be into love. Its much more than  red roses or chocolates on Valentine's day. It demands everything from you, whatever is yours then too gives no assurance that you will get a few smiles but still its the most beautiful feeling and love relations need to be taken care like a child which we can let grow and become more and more intelligent but we can't afford to let go him crazy and spoiled. There wont be ever any words to explain pain ever coz that's what this feeling is about,.only that person can understand it, feel it who have it inside him. Saying sorry is not enough to ease that pain. These are the lines from Punjabi poetry,

uhde zakkam na hashar tak hon raazi....

jinna laggian prem katarian ve....

And it means that that person's wounds wont get healed till eternity too who is wounded by love. So don't hurt that person whom you love, who loves you, don't argue with that person whom you say I love you, don't find faults in that person whom you can't live without. You never know by doing this, you are just walking on the path of losing him/her for forever and may be you will never get him back again. It doesn't matter whose fault it may be, remember there will be one life in the end who would never be the same again as it was. Don't give tears to someone who smiles with your smiles, cries with your tears. You never know, you won't ever get that person again and that may be the only man/woman who was meant for you. You may not find like that person ever again in your life. In the video at the end, a line is displayed, love hurts, too much. Unfortunately some unlucky souls do experience that line so deeply and courtesy of no one else but their own love. Don't know why?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Saying No....

We all love that when we say some thing, it should be done. When we ask some one to do some thing for us, we want it to be done. We like it that our orders to be fulfilled. Who wont like right ? But some times its not possible. Some times its not possible to say yes and go ahead with what some one is willing for. Its not mandatory that all the time it has to be due to some sort of professional reasons but it can be at times due to the personal reasons too. When the things come to personal level, personal limitations than what one should do? When one can't go ahead saying that alright I shall do than what he should do? If your answer is one should say I am sorry than you are right. We have to say at times, I am sorry. But some times we go beyond the limit and think about putting ourself on the back foot and go ahead for doing what the person on the other side is looking for, wanting us to do and this may be because of lots of factors, we have respect for the other person, we have respect for what we do, we think that its ok, I shall do it for this time coz some one's life is in trouble so its okay I shall do it. Is it bad? No I don't think so. Its tough, its really tough to push yourself and do this kind of thing.

But there may be another aspect of this whole situation too. You are not having any commitment but there are a lot of issues that are there on your personal side which are not allowing you to go ahead. So you take a back foot and stop. Than there comes some one who says that we need your help coz some other person is not available because of the same reason for which you are not too. So can you go ahead and take his job and do it for the sake of support? Tell me what you would do ? Its not your call, its not your commitment and to make things worse, things at your side are not well. So what you would do? Is it not fair to say no at that time coz even if you are willing to go for it, your mental state is not right to go for it. So would you go ahead with this kind of dicey mind setup or you would say no? Would it be called unfair for saying no here even though the duty for which you are saying no was never yours and you are not saying no coz you didn't want to help but you yourself are not in a position to go ahead for this job? Should you be called that you are not co-operative?

Saying yes is a very nice thing. All would like it.  No one would be unhappy if you would take a step forward and do their work or support them when they would ask for it. But would you do it all the time just because you have done it always? Is it unfair to say no some times not because of some thing related to you but some one who means more than you even? Is saying  no for once even means that what ever you had done should be forgotten and you should be held responsible for any loss just because some one would not like that you have said no? I guess its too easy to make people ticked than to make them happy and no matter how hard you try, how far you go , you can't make all happy to all the levels. Some times its really tough but its important  to say no even when you are not willing to do that. Its not the best thing to do but some times this is the only thing that one can do.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Snapshots Become Alive....

I have just made an account on Snaps and have added the snapshots for my links over my blog. I hope that this would make you( the existing readers) and you( the first time visitor) to have an idea what you are going to read/view here. Let me know your feedback about it. Yes the same will be added to almost every site of mine whichever is supported by Snaps. If you like it than you can try it too for free for your own site. Happy snapshotting!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Love Is In The Air....

And on the internet,  cards, movies, gifts and for sure everywhere where one can see today. Its Valentines Day today. A day which lovers wait whole year to come and when it comes, they celebrate like Diwali or Christmas. And that is also good to know, after all we are talking about love, the most precious gift one can ever get in his/ her life.

Well so how did I celebrate my day? To tell you the truth, I forgot that its the day today. Weird right but yes its true. I was thinking that its yet to come. So how did I pass my day? Well I was sitting and replying to Oracle Forums to the people about their database issues :-). Cool way to celebrate right? Wanted to go and have a cup of coffee at Cafe Coffee day than left the idea. May be I shall go tomorrow but again that depends how will be my mood tomorrow which certainly was not good today.

People have made this day to exchange gifts, cards, roses and just bump upon anyone and say to him/her that I love you. But this is not love. Love is not so simple and easy. Love is not giving gifts or making calls or exchange bucket full of roses. Its much more beyond this. I you love some one, he/she will manage even if you wont give him/her all this. What one really needs , truly wants is the promise of a lifetime  of togetherness, commitment to be with his/her loved one no matter what happens? I read a few days back a very nice quote that my friend messaged me."The one who holds your hands every time you need support are your good friends. But your love can only be that one who doesn't leave your hand even when you yell and say leave me alone". Be that kind of person who doesn't leave his/her love's hands no matter its a good time or bad one. Don't say to your loved one that leave you alone and he is making your life hell, he is the biggest problem of your life, because of him you are living in a fear, if others will come to know , you would be embarrassed. If being with your love makes you feel ashamed, you should seriously think that are you telling a truth to that person whom are you saying that you love him? Valentine's day is to express love to those persons whom you really love from that heart. But if you think that when the time will come and you would be needed, if you are going to leave your loved one's hand saying that staying with him will give you troubles than may be you should not go and spoil some one's day. Love is not so easy. It takes everything away from you and by giving that only , you become contended.

Finally....

I got back. It was a stressful and tiring program. To make things spicy, this program already got bounced for some unwanted reasons and than only it had been thrown in my lap to sort out. And that's the toughest thing to do if you ask me truly. Its always tough to get married in the first time only and to get again married, one has to do a lot and that's the same happens in these kind of programs. Its already that some one has done some thing really good or bad, both the cases are tough in their own way as if it is good you have to be more better than the last , not in just technology but in everything else too, if its bad, you have to clean the slate completely and also make sure that you wont do the same mistakes that the last person either did or they happened for whatever reasons. Sounds tough right ? Well yeah it is :).

So I started from my home as like always in bus to Delhi.Only thing was that I started late in the afternoon because I was not flying anywhere so I thought to spend some more time at home. At about 1pm in the noon, I started. Everything was like normal only, a bus going on smoothly ( rather too smoothly, the reason of that I came to know later), passengers talking, sleeping and me thinking what's going to happen, will I be thrown in the same manner like the last person in the first two hours only , will I survive and some other indistinct thoughts which are always with me. And suddenly I realized that we have traveled much less as comparable to normal looking at the time of travel which was almost 2 hours. And then the reality was revealed to us by driver that one tyre of the bus was flat. Great! So it means we are going to get delayed or worse will be asked to move into another bus. Well some how we were moving( slowly) and were not asked to move out. Driver  checked couple of shops for repair but coz of Sunday, there was either a person missing over the shop or shop only was closed. We got one shop at last and that guy repaired the tyre. And in this whole process, we wasted about 3 hours. Cool, so me who was supposed to get to my hotel at 6pm, now will reach chilling at some where 9pm. What else I could ask for to go bad?

I guess I said that too early. I landed up in Delhi and moved to my guest house. Some where there was a gut feeling that this also would go wrong and it did happen in the same manner. When I got at guest house, I was welcomed with a "oh god" look which means some thing got  seriously messed up in my booking and now I have to look for another place. And that's the same what happened. The person who was supposed to confirm my booking "forgot" about that and now he was calling and apologizing for it. Oh the joys of traveling. So now those people whose guest house I bumped up, they said they will arrange a room for some where else as its a mistake on their part too. So within ten minutes, I got myself in another room and in a different guest house which was not new for me as I already stayed in that one once before too. So things got sorted and were not that messed up. I got myself a room in this chilly winter. What else can go wrong?

I should not had said that at all. The next morning when I went to office and met my sales person, he explained me ( rather scared me) about the whole situation. His huge order was on the stake coz of this whole mess which happened last time. So he wanted me to save the situation in any case. Well I said which I always say I shall try, lets see what happens. I don't know much about Oracle so with my limited knowledge, I shall see how far I could pull that program. And my sales person hates it when I say that :-). Anyways when I entered the room, I was told this is not a repeat of the last match and some new people have replaced the old ones. Gosh! And to make things more worse, these all persons have not brought any course kit. Cool! So now we got a room full of already unsatisfied people and having no books at all to move upon with the program's hands on. I had to pull in my sales person to have a word with them as we don't deal in all this. He came and explained the whole situation to the guys and gals that there wont be any extra course material supplied as they have already got for what they have paid. So now I had to carry the show. Just before when I was going to start, two guys from the room asked me to come out to "warn" about a front row guy who according them would create unnecessary problems for the entire with his questioning. According to them, this also happened in the last time too. Well I thanked for giving me a red signal in the start only. Its not new for me, I see this all the time and I have my own way to deal with this kind of situation. If one is good and is asking logical questions, I shall encourage them but if some one is just "me too" stuff than I am bad, very bad. How I handle this, for knowing this, you have to replace yourself with that person in my program and have to see. Its not good to reveal your trade secrets right? So we started and in the first 10 minutes, I got to know that those guys were right and I was asked a very odd question. Some how we moved upon with the program. And with the passage of time, all went smooth. Even the guy who was supposed to be creating mess, didn't do that and was listening and co-operating nicely.

It was not a very long program. It was just for two days. So we finished the program with smiles on every one's face and that's what I always want in the end of the program. Things some how , some way were on the right track and there is nothing more rewarding than this.

So after a long time, I am back at home and I want to stay here for some time. There are certain things at home which are not right. I just wish to god that all of these things would get find as soon as possible. I have some unfinished works to finish, I shall do that too. And I have to start my study too. There are some couple of things that I need to do besides all this which I shall try my best to do in this short period. Lets see how much of all this I shall finally be able to accomplish? I missed writing for this long and for sure , will try to make all that up too. So a lot is expected to happen. But for now, I shall be going and will look for some thing to eat. So see you later. Adios!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Oracle Documentation Gone?

No its not that scary as it sounds. But yes the online version of the documentation from tahit.oracle.com or from otn.oracle.com, both are not working and I am getting the classic 404 error. No idea what's the issue or even if its an issue at all too or not but since last night that is happening for me! Bad bad bad!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

I Am Back....

Yes I am back. This time , my tours have been long and really tiring. But out of all this, this only time, I have met some of the most amazing and really deep guys in my program. People who are really "internal" people and do "internal" stuff. I am not sure how much I was able to tell them about the program but it was a very good discussion that happened between us all the time. It was a sort of privilege for me to go and have an interaction with these guys and I really appreciate the concern and respect they showed towards me. Overall, a satisfying program.

I shall be leaving again tomorrow afternoon. This time near by but yeah but not in my city as usual. A very close friend of mine pointed that on my blog, all I write about is my travel details and my traveling. There is nothing else that I mention, nothing that is me, nothing that is about me. Its some what true but its not that I am intending to do so. All I did in this past one and half month was travel and tour only. I really wanted to write about all that but due to some other things happening on the personal front side, I stopped. Its just happened and I really was( to some extent, still not) not in a state to talk about anything. In case you have not noticed, my birthday also passed last month. I am 27 now. Wow, sounds old isn't it? But this time my birthday too didn't happen in the way that it used to happen. I was not at home, there was not much phone calls or some thing. Yes it did hurt a little bit but its okay. I guess after a while, one gets used to of certain things and when some things come in a big lot, one can't do anything about it except to accept it.

There is a lot that I am willing to write about. I shall be starting it very soon. To tell you the truth, I really tried the other night to write about some thing but some how, I could not find words for what I wanted to talk about. I don't know what is the reason for that. Some times, its just not the right time for certain things may be.

I have to close some pending tasks before leaving for tomorrow. So I shall be closing now. Catch you guys later.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Feeling Lost....

Don't know why this feeling is there that some one is lost some where so deep? A friend of mine met me after a very long time and mentioned that a guy is lost. Actualy he is not lost but keeping himself away from the rest of the world and because of this, the whole world is not able to find him. No one else except him pointed this thing, not even some very close people too. But in any case, this is not a good thing. Don't know when he will be able to find a way back to this world? Will it ever happen? Yes it will!

Friday, February 01, 2008

I Am Back But....

I got back yesterday. There was a lot that I wanted to write about but some how things at the personal side are not so good. I am so much tense at the moment. All I wish and hope that everything goes fine. I am closing at the moment. Catch you later!