I Miss You Dad-So Very Much….

Today was a tough day, a very very tough day for my family and me. It’s a special day when for my dad, prayers were supposed to be done at temple. In less than a month’s time, that date is going to come when my dad was taken by god to him. I try to pretend all the time that I am very calm and composed but the fact is, I miss my dad so much, more than anyone can imagine and know.

My mom told me few days ago that today, I must go to temple some time and pray at temple for my dad. I am in a session right now so I mentioned to the delegates yesterday that I shall be coming an hour late for the session, which they kindly accepted. I bought some stuff required for the prayers yesterday evening itself. I asked my guest house cook about any temple near by and he did mention to me about one too. So in the morning, I took a rickshaw and started for that temple. It wasn’t very far but it wasn’t an appropriate one as well. I asked the rickshaw puller to take me to some other one and he did take me as well but I didn’t like that too. Finally, some one told us about another temple which was located within a colony. It was a good one as I did find a priest there who helped me in getting the prayers done properly. Fortunately, all went fine and I got back to the guest house with a satisfaction that I was able to complete the ritual in a good way, despite that I am not at home.

They are very lucky whose parents are alive. There is no other joy, nothing more assuring to see that you have your parents with you. The confidence that you can have to know that your dad is there and is going to handle everything and everyone in the family, is beyond what words can express. Nothing hurts more than this when you see others with their dad and you hear them saying, no worries, my dad would handle it, he is there! It hurts so much, just so very much! I hear from all, death is a fact, we all have to die one day, our nears and dears also would die one day, this is how nature works and many more such kind of comments. It’s very easy to go to someone’s home, attend the condolence prayers, tell them to be strong and accept that this is god’s will, destiny and all that. But you know what, nothing helps. Nothing makes you strong when you live with this cruel reality every day that your dad is no longer in this world and doesn’t matter how hard you would wish, how loudly you would shout, he won’t come back, you won’t ever get to see him again, not even for a moment too! And it hurts, it hurts just so damn much!