You Are Having A Bad Day When....

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I just happened to read this in a mail which came to me and needless to say that it made me smile. So do you agree that  these are the signs when you start feeling that you are going to have a bad day? Have a read :

  1. You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment.
  2. Your suggestion box starts ticking.
  3. Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
  4. You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.
  5. The moths in your money belt starve to death.
  6. People send your wife sympathy cards on your anniversary.
  7. Your wife starts charging you rent.
  8. A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.
  9. You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.
  10. The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.
  11. Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.
  12. The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.
  13. A copy of your birth certificate comes in the mail marked null and void.
  14. The department of biological warfare ask for your stew recipe.
  15. Your children’s school calls to surrender.
  16. You can’t afford to drive your new car.
  17. It takes you three hours to make minute rice.
  18. You’re so bored you play hide & seek alone.
  19. The fortune teller charges you half price.
  20. People give you the senior citizen discount and you’re only 37.
  21. Your wife takes the dog on vacation and leaves you at the kennels.
  22. You find a note on the table instead of supper.
  23. Your wife tapes your picture to the dart board.
  24. Your wife is sitting on the stove holding a picket sign.
  25. Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.
  26. Your plants do better when you don’t talk to them.
  27. The house is messy again before you can finish cleaning.
  28. Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels motorcyclists.
  29. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
  30. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  31. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
  32. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
  33. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
  34. Your income tax refund check bounces.
  35. It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
  36. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
  37. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
  38. You put both contacts in the same eye.
  39. Your mother approves of the girl you are dating.
  40. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.
  41. Nothing you own is actually paid for.
  42. Everyone loves your driver’s license picture.
  43. The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
  44. You call your wife and tell her that you’d like to eat out tonight and when you get home, you find a sandwich on the front porch.
  45. You wake up face down on the pavement.
  46. You see a “60 Minutes” news team waiting in your office.
  47. You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
  48. You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize you don’t have a waterbed.
  49. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
  50. You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
  51. Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George!

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