Friday, September 13, 2019

Well, Hello there-Again….

It’s been a long time since I have posted anything. Actually, it’s been years I believe. And if you are going to ask that why did I stop, truly speaking-I don’t know. I just did. Anyways, here I am starting again and hopefully, I shall be not stopping this time. At least, not any time soon. Fingers crossed!

And probably, like a crude joke, I am starting to write again on  a day which I hate so much thanks to the worst memory associated with and like a bad joke over me, I am at that very place which is very much a part of that  memory. Something that always gives me shivers and haunts whenever I think about it. And I do think about it every single time, especially when I step-in at this place.

Some time, on a particular day, just about everything,  probably the whole day turns out to be a series of unhappy moments, and start hitting you one after the other. For me, today was just that day; starting from the commute from my guest house to the venue.

I took an auto rickshaw (tuk-tuk) which is probably a very safe ride. But just like that, out of all the days, today my auto-rickshaw got hit from the rear side by a car. Luckily, we were halting on  a signal. So all what happened that driver and I both were pushed to the front of the auto-rickshaw and he crashed with the front glass and I hit the safety railing that’s in front of the seat. Luckily, besides getting a feeling like someone punched on the sternum with a baseball bat, I was otherwise okay. Driver of the car was talking over the phone and couldn’t stop his car on time. There was no use to argue with him since the only thing that happens in such a case is that the other person apologizes hundres of times which serves no purpose whatsover. So that’s how the day started.

You probably must be wondering what’s so wrong with the day about which I am cribbing about so much. And the answer of this is that today was my father’s shradth. For those who don’t know what it means, it’s a day in Hindu mythology when you offer prayers for your parent(s) who have passed away. For me, for my dad, it was today. And to make matter even worse, I am in the same damn city where I got the news of his death. Not sure what can I say more but it’s just not the series of co-incidents that I would had liked to happen at all. Since I am traveling, I woke up early and went to a temple near by my guesthouse, told the priest over there and he gladly performed the prayers for me. I couldn’t do much but whatever little I could do, I did. So yeah, that’s how my day started.

I did think that over the work front, things would be fine but probably, like always- I assumed a little too early.

Usually I don’t crib about my work since almost all the time, I put all what I have in my work and I love what I do. It’s stressful beyond words and takes a lot of skills, on both technical and personal aspects to pull the things off successfully. And I don’t leave anything inside me when it comes to work-come what may. And despite all the thoughts in my mind, I did finish my work today also with giving all what I had to give for it. Yes, I was probably visibly off and it was even pointed by one of my friends who was an attendee in this session. Probably I couldn't conceal my inner turmoils like I am able to often cos I was asked why I looked so lost today! Anyways, I did finish the work but probably the worst thing for me on the work-front today was that two of the participants gave the worst rating in the evaluation scores. Now, I don’t really need to worry too much about them since 13 more added an excellent rating with really good comments as well. But me being me, their act just filled me with so much of bitterness and I am just not able to swallow it. I won’t go and say that I am the best in my work but I shall definitely say this, what I do and how I do it, I am not someone who can be rated with the most negative ratings available in the score sheet. And if one is giving me such rating, I have to know the reason for that as well since in the same session, 13 more people were really very appreciative about my work and about me. That was probably the last blow for me the day and yes, I must say it did hurt more than that damn sternum hit of the morning. I do have an idea who did that but then again, neither I could ask them upfront about it nor such questioning would have served any purpose since it’s already on-record now. I just have to suck it up and move on.

I did reach here at the airport and had a cup of black coffee. I wanted to sit down at the lounge but the access will be given after half an hour(I reached very early before my scheduled departure time). So I am right now sitting at this coffee shop PuroGusto and waiting for the lounge to be available for me. It will be long wait to board my flight, which is  scheduled to departure  in about 3.5 hours from now. Most of the times, I am not much thoughtful about the waiting periods at the airports but today, it’s certainly not helping to be at a place( airport or anywhere as a matter of the fact) which is engraved in the mind with the worst memories of my life. I am not sure what I can mention about what I am going through right now. It’s just like it happened just the other day when I reached at this very airport at 2AM with tears in my eyes and started for a very long travel back to home. I don’t really mention about that day often but when you are sitting at the very same place, it’s just inevitable to block those haunting memories. The only solace is that I shall be at home;though not for long. But whatever little time it may be, it’s invaluable.


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