Sitting Alone, Sad & Shattered….

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I am sitting here  alone, unwell and feeling like crying so much. Yes, thinking about many things. But above all, cursing this day because today is the day when God decided to take my dad away from my family and gave me this curse to pretend and act to be strong by keeping a straight face. And this keeping-straight-face is what makes people think that I don’t have emotions, all I care about is myself and all I do is just to make me happy. Don’t know how I can cut my heart out and show that all I want is to scream so loudly and cry so much cos I am missing my dad so much! Don’t know how I can tell what it feels when I saw this guy sitting in a train with his dad and that elderly person did hug his son and told him-take care of yours! Don’t know how I can explain that what it feels to portray being a mature person knowing that now, dad is not there to come and save you, protect you. Just don’t know!

I am just not feeling well and having this cough, cold and fever but I am wishing so much for rain cos I really want to walk in it and cry so much!

Dad, I hope you are watching  us. Just want to tell you that I miss you more than I can tell you too! I don’t cry cos I had been asked not to as I must stay strong as all look upon me only but I want to, I really want to cry so much while hugging you  so tightly!

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