Sunday, April 22, 2012

Dad, I Am Missing You So Much….

At times, no matter how hard you try to portray yourself strong, you shatter at some fine point. That’s the same which happened with me about 3-4 days ago when I attended a function with my mom.

In case you don’t know, last year in October, my dad was taken away by God to him. I wrote whatever I could in this post about it. If you would spend time reading the entire post and/or if you know me beyond web, you would know or at least will have an idea that I tried to stay as strong as possible, to even an extent that I am sure some must be wondering that what’s wrong with this guy but there wasn’t anything else that I could afford to do to save my mom and sister. The only hope and strength for them left is me and being that, the last thing I can do is to make them see that I am sad, crying, feeling so scared going out in this world all alone now without my dad watching me. I have tried my best to put a strong face or I can even say, a stone-alike face and trying my best to carry all the responsibilities well which previously my dad used to take care of. Yes, its tough and I have no idea how well I am doing anything but I am trying, am trying really hard! Though I have tried my best to hide my emotions, in that function, for a moment, I couldn’t do so.

My mom can’t sit for a long time now on the floor. She starts feeling uneasy and because of her blood pressure issues and even more than that, her enlarged heart, which works only at 28% strength, her condition becomes very bad in a very short time. The same happened on that night too when she was sitting on the floor for some time but then she started feeling restless, got headache and was feeling like puking any time. Nothing  was new and I knew it may happen anytime. So after giving her a Disprin, I brought her downstairs and made her lay down on the bed. She took another medicine for vomits too. I was sitting besides her for about 20 minutes when she told me that she is feeling okay now and I should go back upstairs and attend the function. It wasn’t exactly a function but a ceremony in which prayers were done. For the folks of Indian origin, it was a Jagrata and that’s the reason, sitting on the floor was a must! Since mom was now downstairs in the room, I was sitting all alone now in a corner on the rooftop. Yes, there were many other people present as well and I knew most of them too but there came a moment, when most of the males shifted to the opposite side from the spot where we were all sitting initially because of insects flying around. Some how, I didn’t feel like moving from the place and just sat there only. What I saw was that all the guys were there with their dads. I could see that how all of them were getting affection, care from their fathers. There was a small tea break and I saw that a guy’s father specially called the person who was serving the tea to get one cup for his son. Seeing all of this just tore me apart. I wasn’t jealous from the other guys who were fortunate that their fathers were there with them but I was just thinking so many things. I was thinking that now, I am just sitting all alone here, with no one but myself to take care of me and of my mom. There is no one who for me would call some one and say, hey get this for my son too. If I want something, I have to go and get it myself because my dad is not there to call someone for me. A guy was sitting in a relaxed posture with his back resting comfortably over the warm body of his father and I was sitting with my back resting against this cold brick wall. I don’t know how it would sound to those who take me as a very mature, sensible and responsible guy, to which a large extent I at least try to be too, but I felt so scared, so alone at that time, in that short moment. I had tears in my eyes which I very quickly wiped off before anyone could see and would have asked the reasons for it because for me, its better not to show the tears than to explain the reason behind them. I was still sitting there only and grabbed a cup of tea for me too. Though I am sure no one had seen that look on my face and could guess but I missed my dad so much at that time and so wished that he would be there at that time with me, with my mom, my sister. Yes, I am capable enough( I think) to handle everything, any situation and I am trying to handle everything too as well but there is nothing that can even come closer to express this that how strong one feels when you have your dad sitting beside you, sitting back at home when you are out working ,to give you a hug and to say that don’t worry son, I am there! Trust me, nothing can make you feel stronger than that!

Dad, I know you are there some where watching me and mom and Gunjan and Vikram too. I haven’t said to anyone but just telling you that I am missing you so much, so very very much! Mom cries almost all the time and I try my best to make her calm. I don’t cry at all! I try not to talk about you, not to mention you in anything so that she won’t cry, I am so sorry! I am trying to take care of everything, in the best possible ways I can but you know dad, I feel so scared, I really do but I don’t say it to anyone and I won’t do too! I so wish that you were here, right now with us! I just so wish that you were here with me right now!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Ijazat By Falak, Just Amazing….

At times, you stumble across on a song which is going to strike so you hard that it comes on an infinite replay. And its not mandatory that the song must be a very well known too. The same happened with me when I was just now looking for some good, new songs to listen over YouTube. Some how, from various channels, I came across the channel of Falak which is managed by the singer and composer Falak Shabir. Though to be honest, I never did hear of him before but when I listened to some of his songs, I was just stunned and in this listening, I got over this song, Ijazat(Permission) by him which has just hooked to itself that I am listening to it non-stop from last 2 hours! The lyrics and compositing of the song, singing all have come very well. The video of the song is also very unusual(at least in my opinion)  and compliments the song very well. I am not sure that how many would like it so I would not be translating it in English but would share its original lyrics which are in Punjabi. Though the lyrics are very simple and I hope most would be able to understand it but still, if there are enough requests to translate it, I shall attempt to do so too.

Here is the official video of the song,

 

And below are the lyrics of the song in Punjabi. Please note that the lyrics are also given in the song’s description as well but I am going to change a few word’s spellings to reflect the accent that’s used for them in actual Punjabi language.

Ve jaan waleya injh chhadh k naa javeen,
Keetey wadey saare o tor nibhaveen!
Gallan ishq di kitiyaan sang rataan kaddiyaan,
O bhull na javeen mainu chhadd na javeen!

Haaye.......
Haaye.......
Haaye.......

Mera yaar sajan tuun,
Dildaar sajan tuun,
Mainu kol lukaa lai, gall seeney laa lai!
Gharr aaja mahi, fer naa jaa maahi!
Tere tarley pawaan, tainu kinjh samjhawan!

Ik waari aaja, gharr phera paa jaa!
Koi labh ke laiya de, mere dil da raanjha!
Rabb teri khudayi, main devaan duhaayi!
Os be-kadre nu meri qadar na aayi!

Haaye.......
Haaye.......
Haaye.......

Baahan kangna paa ke, hathhe mehndi laa ke,
Kanni mundraan paa ke, hun kinnu dakhawan!
Chann eidi chadeya, tuun gharr na mudeya,
Rahwaan tak tak teriyaan, akhaan rondiyaan meriyaan,
Ve tuun samajh na paya, mann ishq machaaya!
Ve main ho gai jhalli, rowaan baih ke kalli!

Ve mann lai kehna, dukh hor nain sehna,
Dewaan dil nu tasalli, rowaan baih ke kalli!
Kinjh badal gaya tuun, dil khed gaya tuun!
Hass haseyaan de vich, dil tod gaya tuun!

Ve jaan waleyaa, injh chhadd ke naa javeen,
Keetey waadey saarey, o tor nibhaveen!
Gallan ishq di kitiyaan, sang rataan kaddiyaan
o bhull na javeen, mainnu chhadd na javeen

Haaye.......
Haaye.......
Haaye.......

Je hove ijazat, teri karaan ibaadat!

I am not sure how many would like the song but its a very nice track compiled by Falak and given the fact that he is so young, I am sure that he is going to go long in the future. Let me know if you do like the song & also that if you want the translation in English also. Enjoy!

Truth Depicted In Just Two Lines….

Its 4pm right now and I have just taken medicine for fever. I was looking at the blog of mine and was thinking that I thought I shall write about some things but then, despite that I am at home since last 4 days, its not been possible for me to do because of one thing or the other coming up. Last 3 days were extremely busy as there were few functions that me and mom had to attend. Last night, mom was not well at all. She could manage to sleep at about 6am only and at the same time only I slept too. How am I? Well, I am not feeling so well either but that’s okay.  Even today, in about 3 hours from now, me and mom shall be going to out of station to attend a function at my sister’s home and we shall be staying there for the night. So, in short there is no time for a long post to come. But still, I have just read  two very short but very deep and true-to-life poetry pieces which I liked so much and thought to share. Both are in Hindi and I shall be translating them in English as well. So here comes the first one,

kabhi kabhi yoon bhi hamne apne hi ko behlaayaa hai,
jin baaton ko khud nahin samjhe auron ko samjhaayaa hai!

And its meaning in English is,

At times, I have just managed to convince my own heart,

Things which I myself have never understood, I have explained to others!

 

And the 2nd one is,

Moonh ki baat sune har koi, dil ke dard ko jaane kaun,

Aavaazon ke baazaaron mein, khaamoshi pehchaane kaun!

 

And its translation in English is,

All listen to what mouth speaks, no one understands the pains of the heart,

In the market where only sounds are sold, who would value silence!

 

I won’t be explaining the above two poetries any further except saying this that life is just so hard at times and if it is not at any times, people around you make it sure that its going to be!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Beautiful Quote….

At times, you come across some things which make you stand still for a moment and force you to give a deep thought about what you have just read or saw. I just read something so similar like this which I am putting down here. Have a read,

You say that you the love rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains...
You say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines...
You say that you love the wind,
But you close your windows when wind blows...
This is why I am afraid;
You say that you love me too!

A lot of people say that they love someone not knowing that its the most easiest thing to say but the most toughest to show and prove. There are very very few in this world who would dare to give their all for the sake of the love and for their beloved. Most of the people would think from mind and not from heart when it comes to take a decision and mind always evaluates pros and cons, profits and losses than feelings and emotions. That’s why when its a choice between a career, good life, following dreams of your own and your love, most pick the first option. I wrote long time a back a quote which was like, “people should be loved and things should be used. But the irony of today’s world is that its the other way around” . Isn’t it?

BTW, the above mentioned quote is labelled that it is from Bob Marley but that’s not correct. Its not even a quote too but is a poem in Turkish but who is the real author, that’s still is a puzzle. Here is the original poem with its translation (quoted above) in English( link is shortened by me).

http://tinyurl.com/cjhd5k4

Blogger’s Look Update Coming Soon(Forcefully)….

I am a techie, a hard-core techie guy but still, I don’t like too many bells and whistles to be added-just for the sake of adding them. Facebook has done the same with my profile using the (stupid) Timeline. I didn’t choose to go for it but then, my account was migrated to it by force this month. And following the forceful “updates” , Blogger platform has also started to tell me now in the dashboard that in this month, the blogging interface that I use, which you are seeing now, is going to get a MAJOR facelift and whether I like it or not, my account is going to get updated for the same in this very month only. And this post from the Blogger team confirmed the same too.

Not a good thing, if you ask me.

I am sure it must be good but, strictly speaking of me and me only, I don’t like it and I don’t want it but I can’t do anything about it either! So folks, if you are here, in the next coming days, a major change is going to hit me in terms of look-feel of this blog of mine and also, to you. I shall try to still keep it as simple as possible in my best powers but I can only check it out when it comes for me. I have just saved the entire template of mine which I am using right now and hopefully. I shall try to make the new look as close as possible, similar to the current one. Hope its not going to come out so bad and the upgrade would be for good.

This post is just for a heads-up for all of you. If you are a regular here, I shall strongly urge and wish that you do come here and the (stupid) makeover won’t make any difference to you, at least not in a big way.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Another Gem From Faraz….

If you are a regular here, you must be aware that how big fan I am of Ahmad Faraz. There has been several posts where I have put across some of his poetry and if you do understand deep and meaningful poetry, I am sure you must have liked it too. So keeping the trend alive, here is a short but awesome poetic marvel written by Faraz,

Yeh bhi achha hua ki usse paa na sake Faraaz,
Humara ho ke agar bichharta to shayad qayamat hoti!

This time, I won’t be doing its translation in English and neither would be explaining its actual or real meaning. But yes, that’s for sure that like all of Faraz’s work, the meaning of these two lines is far more deeper and would be a little tough to grasp for many.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

A Beautiful Composition, Pani Da Rang….

Those who know me beyond web(and some who know me via web too) are well aware about my liking of Punjabi music and when it comes to it it, I don’t like at all the crap which is now being added by the Hindi language movie makers-a Punjabi song just for the sake of having it within the movie. And what makes me even more mad is that how crazy people go for such 3rd class songs and think that’s the Punjabi music and culture is all about. News flash folks, its NOT what Punjabi music is all about and definitely not Punjab’s culture. Okay may be I shall write another post about this topic some other time. The current post is actually about a movie song and may appear as a surprise to many, a song which I actually did like.

Vicky Donor  is an upcoming movie starring a new completely new team of actors in it. I am not sure( or concerned) that how good(or bad) the movie is going to be neither about its success but I somehow stumbled on one song of it today, Pani Da Rang which is sung by the lead actor of the movie, Aayushman Khurana who is doing his debut I believe in the movie world by this flick. The song, without a surprise, is a Punabi song and though IMO Aayushman is not a very good singer, has come up well with minimal music and good and sensible lyrics in addition to support it. Here is the official video of the song released by Eros Entertainment,enjoy

I am not doing the English translation of the lyrics at the moment. If I shall be getting enough requests to do so, I shall be posting the English translation and the original Punjabi lyrics over here. So if you do like the song so much, let me know otherwise, hmm enjoy the music only may be Smile.

Update: So it seems that the song is really getting popular. Two requests in the form of comments, on the very day of the posting the song clearly is a sign. Alright, so without being so fussy, here are the lyrics of the song in Punjabi following with the translation of the same in English,

Pani da rang vekh ke,
Akhiyan chon hanjhu rul de!
Maahiya na aaya mera, maahiya na aaya!
Raanjhna na aaya mera,maahiya na aaya!
Maahiya na aaya mera,Raanjhna na aaya mera
Akhan da noor vekh k,
Akhiyan chon hanjhu rulde!

Kamli ho gayi tere bina,aAja ranjhan mere!
Baarish barkha sab kuch beh gayi,
Aaya ni jind mere!
Akhan da noor vekh k,
Akhiyan chon hanjhu rulde!

Kothe utte beh ke, Akhiyan milaunde,
Na jaana  mainu kabhi chhod!
Tere utte marda, pyar tainu karda,
Milega tujhe na koi hor!
Tu bhi aa sab ko chhod ke,
Meri akhiyan chon hanjhu rulde!
Pani da rang vekh ke,
Akhiyan chon hanjhu rulde!

And its translation in English,

When I see color of the water,
Tears drop down from my eyes continuously,
My beloved has still not come, my dearest has still not come!
When I see shine in the eyes,
Tears drop down from my eyes continuously!

I am going crazy without you, now please come my love!
Rain has already poured in,
You still have not come my love!
When I see the shine in the eyes,
Tears drop down from my eyes continuously!

We used to sit on the rooftop, looked into each other's eyes,
Don't ever leave me and go!
Some one who is ready to die for you, who loves you,
You won't find another person alike me!
You also leave all behind and come to me,
Tears drop down from my eyes continuously!

Hope this would help you to enjoy the song in a much better way and as like always, any corrections for the lyrics and/or in the English translation is most welcome. Do post either of both in the comment section and I shall do the update with a credit given to you. Enjoy!

Another (Boring) Weekend Started….

So here I am, stuck up here at for another weekend over which I am not going to do anything except sitting in my room and trying to pass the time thinking about tons of things and yes, being so angry over this that tomorrow, for a very special occasion, where I really wanted to be, I won’t be able to show up. Sigh!

Since I can’t do anything else, probably, I shall spend some time reading about a topic that I am trying to understand and also would listen to some music. Just had breakfast(yeah, I know a little late but what the hell, its weekend isn’t it) so that’s the best to do I believe in order to pass time.