Monday, February 28, 2011

Sawatdee Khrab….

I guess you might have understood. If not, that’s “hello” from a male in Thai language :) . Yes, I am at Thailand right now. No, not for vacation or holiday but for work (not going to make any trip anymore for vacation or holiday, have already tried to make one(and not just for me only) and got just punishment for doing so) . I am sitting here in my session and fortunately got a free internet access to use so thought will put this small note here. I shall be writing more about the day 0 and rest of the days soon. Have taken some pictures with a machine gun approach already on day 0, will try to take some more and post all soon. So keep watching this space :) .

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Random Thoughts….

I got a call from a friend of mine whom I met about 4 years back when I went for a training. He was a participant, a really good, nice , intelligent and technical guy. Though all the guys were so much good in the session, he was a little different from all because one, he was almost of my age( turned out later that he is actually older than me) , second, he is also a Punjabi guy, third, he was very friendly. After the end of the session, I invited him and his wife for dinner at my hotel and both kindly accepted my invitation. We did a lot of talk and had a good time speaking about lots of other things other than oracle. His wife is also very nice. Needless to mention, it was one of the best moments for me because it doesn’t happen very often. I was very happy to hear that they did like this (bad, stubborn and god knows what else) guy so much too and asked me to be in touch for the rest of the life. I am not a sort of person who would promise and wont keep it and I did promise that I won’t forget them ever and will be in touch. Years passed, I did send them couple of text messages on various occasions but they didn’t go through. When we were dining, they mentioned that they were planning to relocate and I thought that they might have done it actually now and the number is changed now. I still had the older number stored with me and there was no email that I had with me to contact any of them. I thought that it may be now never that I am going to see them again.

I mentioned in the last post that I went for an overseas trip which I planned and worked hard to do because I promised that I shall do it no matter what (little did I know that I would be punished so hard  for doing so) . I was in a very upset mood at that time because there were many issues coming in it. I won’t mention those issues here because if I am being alive or dead doesn’t matter, those issues really does stand anywhere. So leaving them apart, I was just sitting outside my home in a real upset mood after a really heated talk with my travel guy when I got a call from an unknown number. There was a lady speaking on the other side and she asked, is it Aman? Well, unfortunately, this bad guy Aman is still alive so the answer was yes. She asked me that do you remember me, we had dinner together? Now, it’s there that I don’t forget anything and anyone but at that time, I was not able to think anything because was in so much of tension. So I said, I am sorry , I can’t recall that I have had a dinner with you ever, so who is it? Then she explained to me that you came to this city and you had a dinner with me and my husband and she told me her name and her husband’s name. And in an instant, I recalled everything. She was very happy and indeed I was too. I asked that how did they get my number and she said that they never had missed it, it was with them all the time. She even mentioned that they tried to call me many times but my phone was switched off and I can imagine it happening so well because most of the times I am traveling and my phone is off. She told me that they have relocated and now they are in another city, fortunately, a city where I travel very often. She said that she will tell her husband to call me and once I am there, I must visit them. Needless to say that I was so happy. Those days, in the last month, were how much stressful and painful for me, only I know it and no one else but that came phone call came like a small burst of rain for a very heated desert.

I got the call from my friend later in the night the same day and he was very happy. He asked me to come and visit them both and have a dinner with them for sure when the next time I shall be in the city again. Also he asked me to keep in touch now for sure. After few days I went to overseas, thinking that I am doing something which I promised to someone that I shall do no matter what but turned out that I "just did what I always want”. I guess I have mentioned it before as well that even before I could back to home, my punishments got started. May be I am just so bad that I don’t do anything good at all, heck may be I am just not good at all. Anyways, I got a chance to be in the same city of my friend and he was calling me like crazy asking me that when I am coming for dinner. I was(still not) feeling well but I decided to go for sure no matter what because I promised and he was really so happy that I would be coming, not just him, his wife as well. I couldn’t make it on the day I promised and both very really upset. But next day, I did visit them. We had dinner, talked for so long , about so many things. He asked me tons of things, for some I answered ,for some I passed the questions. It was a great evening spent and seeing them so happy for a bad guy like me coming and visiting them, when I got back home, my eyes were filled with tears. My friend asked me that I must visit them on weekend but I couldn’t do so because I have an overseas travel assigned for me almost all of a sudden. I couldn’t inform him that I won’t be coming to see him. He called me after waiting for so long that where I am and was so angry that I have to leave and wont be staying for the weekend. I somehow did tell him that I shall be visiting them for sure whenever the next I shall be coming back to the city and I definitely will.

I am sitting here at my friend Sidhu’s place all alone because he is not here and has gone to his home. My another friend Ankit has gone out to get some work done. And me, I am just lost in thoughts thinking about many many things. On one side, I am so happy that my friend was so happy that I came to see him and was almost going crazy and on another side, I am thinking something that I did thinking that I shall make someone so much happy but all I got was so much of punishment for doing it. I was so happy to see that he was so concerned that I wont be coming and seeing him on the weekend. And I was also thinking about another event where I….nothing! I won’t mention anything here but I don’t know what so wrong I did that even I am so much angry, hurt, was almost dead, it wouldn’t have mattered at all. There are tons of things in the heart but it’s okay. I guess, I am just so much bad and haven’t done anything good at all ever! But still, even I am so much bad, may be haven’t done anything good at all ever too but still, is it right to be so harsh on someone for no fault of his? Is it right to just say when is told that you didn’t even ask how he was, “sorry my bad, get well soon” like it doesn’t matter at all? Is it right that knowing that someone did something only because for one reason that he promised doing so despite understanding all the things, knowing that the other person won’t be able to do, still say to him that he just does what he wants only all the time? Is it right to not even bother that someone is in so much anger and is in drowned in tears, yet to leave saying I have to leave now? Is it right that when someone expected nothing but just few things knowing that that’s all what he can have for him, still not bothering about it and doing just what one wants? Is it right? NO ITS NOT! I have said already, its so easy to make a promise and then come and say that it’s not possible to do for one reason or the other, it’s just so easy to do it! It’s so easy to sit quietly and saying, I am sorry I can’t do anything because I have these many problems but it takes a lot, A LOT to do something for words given! Its so easy to do things just for yourself but it takes a lot to do even one small thing for someone else , someone who is very special. It takes nothing to give pain and tears but it takes a lot to take away the pain. And how much pain given by the loved ones hurts, one has to have it to really know about it. How it feels when tears drop down from eyes to cheeks non-stop while sitting in the corner of the bed, trying to think that whether you are really so bad, what so wrong that you did, was it so much to expect just a few smiles too, what did you miss in doing that you got just tears and pains for no fault of yours, how these questions haunt and hurt you, one can only understand when those tears are coming from your own eyes. And when you are in so much pain, in tears, angry and hurt and yet see that it doesn’t matter at all, not even this that you are dead or alive to that person who has given you this punishment without even thinking for a moment, one whom you love so much,  how much it hurts, words are and can’t be enough to describe it, won’t be able to express it ever!

Tears are rolling through the eyes at the moment. I want to write but may be, mind is not working. I have got to leave in few hours for a very tough session. So I better get up and start doing the packing now. I haven’t done any study for it yet. I hope all goes fine. I had decided to stop doing this traveling job but I won’t stop it, at least for some more time. I shall be dead  soon but I guess, I  shall be dead sooner if I shall stop traveling and pushing my limits while doing so. Time to be on the road now for a long, lonely and tough trip.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Overseas Travel, Once Again….

I am sitting here in my class room and waiting for the delegates to finish the practice session. Though I am not feeling well, but I guess, we still had a great week and discussed many things about oracle. I hope that despite my upset mood which has nothing to do with oracle didn’t impact much my program and also the delegates didn’t see the anger on my face which I tried to put behind my smile. The delegates are really good, friendly, supportive and showed a great interest in listening and learning the complex module which we have covered in this week. I hope I was able to say something useful and did help them in some way to get started. For few times, I was totally blank thinking about somethings but then I was able to gather myself and was back on track.

For the next week, I was going to be staying here only. But there is a change of plan now and I have to travel overseas. It has come all of a sudden and the module also would be a real tough one. On top of it, I am not feeling so well as well, both physically and mentally. So I am not sure that how well I am going to do. There is already a messed up program hanging on my head which I did in Mumbai few days back when I was hospitalized and I am really not sure what’s going to happen for this one. This is going to be my 2nd overseas trip in this year. The first one, for which not many anyone know but I worked really really hard and had really thought that it would bring smile on someone’s face and seeing that smile, I also would be able to smile. But I didn’t know that for doing so, I would be getting so severe punishments which would start even before I would get back and also, I  would get to hear that I do always just what I want! I tried to shut myself down but it didn’t go as planned and even if it would had happened, I guess it doesn't matter. Anyways, I am going for this another overseas trip now and I just hope that it goes well. Let’s see, fingers are crossed.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

It Doesn’t Matter….

Why it’s so that even when someone is almost dead, it just doesn’t matter? Why it’s so that even when one knows that he is completely wrong and is hurting the other person so much, it just doesn’t matter? Why it’s so that even when someone is told that that the person is so much sick, is on the bed and almost died and is upset, all what he says that “sorry my bad, get well soon” like it doesn’t matter? Why it's so that one can’t see that the other person is not so unimportant and if he is angry, there must be some reason for it and  but still gets the treatment like it doesn’t matter? Why it’s so that even when someone is crying so much, it’s so easy to just get up leaving him in tears like it doesn’t matter? Why it’s so?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Just Awesome….

I have just got the below two lines from a friend in a text message and I just loved them. So without saying anything more, here they go,


Tujh mein aur mujh mein faraq sirf itna hai,

Main tere liye sirf hoon aur tuu mere liye sab kuch hai!


And it’s meaning in English is,

The only difference between you and me is,

For you, I’m just there but for me, you are everything!


I am not sure that I would add something  more to it except this that it takes a lot to forget yourself and do things for someone else but it’s very easy just to think about yourself. It takes nothing to live for your own but it takes a lot to die for someone else. It’s so easy to smile for yourself but it takes a lot to cry for someone else. I guess I shall stop here since I am going to be in the session. There is another piece of an awesome (sad) poetry with me which I shall be putting here soon. So till then, watch this space :) .

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Traveling Time But With An Upset Mood….

It’s been a crazy and busy day today. I was running from here to there to do tons of things, mostly doing damage control. I shall be on the road again and to tell the truth, I am in a real bad mood!

Day started with visiting my travel guy whom I have to pay back some amount for a travel. I had requested him to let me pay him in installments since there are tons of things that are on my head and since I happened to know and working with him from so long, I believed that at least this much flexible he can be while doing business with me and fortunately, he did accept my request. So today it was the first installment that I went to pay him. He asked me how did everything go, in answer of which I gave him my “signature” smile and said, “it was okay”. Not sure if I could really tell him that for whom I went, they didn’t even wait for  me to get back home to punish me for doing “always just what I want”, I don’t understand a darn thing and I am just wrong in doing anything and everything that I do! May be I really am not good at all, I don’t know. But still, what I do know is that it’s very easy to give a promise than later mention that due to one reason or the other, it’s not possible to do anything about it but it’s tough, it’s really tough to overcome obstacles and do something, even if it’s really  not alike picking stars from the sky! Not sure what is right and what is not, to be honest, I guess it’s better to say that it’s just me who is bad and not right.

After that, I got a call that there is a “serious” trouble that has happened in my last session. I have to admit that I did mess it up by doing something to me and not finishing it up. The heat of that act is coming with full force over me and almost all, whose name I can recall, are mad over me like hell! I have done efforts to sort the things out but not sure what’s really going to happen? I just hope that things get settle down properly, without making much of mess(there is already enough to make me stay awake).

I shall  be back on the road from tomorrow. It’s going to be really tough sessions which are coming ahead and I am somewhat scared. Not sure from what, but I am scared. I hope I shall be able to finish everything without doing anything else wrong. There are plenty of the things which I have screwed up already and I really don’t think that I would be able to handle any more of it. Let’s see what happens?

A Touching Song, Tune Mere Jaana Kabhi Nahin Jaana….

I was going to write about my traveling which would start from tomorrow and couple of other things which did happen today but then, I got a call from a friend who asked me that whether I have heard the above mentioned song? Well, I didn’t apparently. He made me hear the song over his phone and told me a story behind this song. I liked the song so much that I immediately asked him to email me the song which he did and the next step for me was to find that how really well it’s out in the web world. To my amazement, it’s really is a popular song! About the story behind it, I have been reading different versions of it, even this that it’s fake but nevertheless, I would still mention it here. If it turns out to be a rumor, I shall put a note and will edit it in the future. But I do believe that what’s mentioned in the story, it might have happened in real as well. With all due respect to all the girls of this world, I still do believe that what is mentioned in the story, it really might have happened! So the story is this that a guy from Indian Institute of Technology(Guwahati) Rohan Rathore, who was suffering from Cancer, was madly in love with a girl(her name is there on the web but I won’t mention it here), refused to be with him because he was suffering from Cancer. After 15days of recording this song, Rohan died. Now, I have no means to check that it’s a true incident or not but I do believe that it’s possible that the gal might really have left the guy because he was going to die anyways. If you are a gal and you are feeling upset about me saying it, well, trust me, it’s possible that a gal really will do it! Anyways, I did like this song so much. It’s a mix of English and Hindi. I searched for the video of it on Youtube and I found couple of them. I have picked one which had lyrics of it( though I do think that a line or two are incorrectly mentioned and I shall write my understanding of lyrics here). The Hindi portion of the song, I shall translate here. It has a word Jaana which refers to the word Jaan meaning life so Jaana is someone who is dearest like life. I guess, that’s the best part of the song but that’s my humble opinion. Before I put the video, a disclaimer, it’s not made by me and I am not aware about any copyright violations whatsoever, if any, caused by the making of it. If you, the reader, thinks that the video (or even song) is a copyright violation, do let me know by putting it in the comments and I shall see what to do. But by no means, I am related to either in the recording of this song and/or in the making of this video. So with that note, here goes the video,


And here goes the lyrics,

Oh love of mine,
With a song and a whine,
You're harsh and divine!
Like truths and a lie!

But the tale's end is not here,
I've nothing to fear,
For my love is yell of giving and hold on.

In the bright emptiness,
In a room full of it,
Is the cruel mistress!

Oh ho ho....

I feel the sunrise,
That nests all hollowness,
For i have to let it go and not come!

And i feel so lonely yeah,
There's a better place from this emptiness!

And i'm so lonely yeah
There's a better place from this emptiness!
Yei yei yei!

Aaa aaa aaa(echo)

Toone mere jaana,
Kabhi nahin jaana,
Ishq mera, dard mera haaye!

Toone mere jaana,
Kabhi nahi jaana,
Ishq mera dard mera!

Aashiq tera,
Bheed mein khoya rehta hai!
Jaane jahaan,
Puchho to itna kehta hai,

And I feel so lonely yeah,
There's a better place from this emptiness!

And I'm so lonely yeah,
There's a better please from this emptiness!

Yei yei yei!

Aaa aaa aaa(echo)


I have made the portion which is in Hindi underlined  so here goes the translation of that portion alone in English,

You my beloved,

Never did understand my love, my pain!

You my beloved,

Never did understand my love, my pain!

Your lover,

Is all alone even in the crowd,

Oh beloved,

If someone asks, all just he says!


I think that irrespective of the story, the song is just so good, so touching and definitely so sad! And about the story, as I said, I am not sure that’s its true or not but I have seen myself, even when someone is on the bed, at times, people still call him wrong, tell him that he is not good, stubborn forgetting that the most important bit at that moment is to ask how the person is because one may not be able to see it but it’s still possible that the person who is on the bed and is sick, he may be in a lot of pain, definitely physically and may be equally, emotionally!

Hats off to the write, singer, music composer of this song , whoever they are! And if it’s true that the song is by the guy Rohan who is dead now, may god give his soul rest and peace and to that gal whom he loved so madly, a heart!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Pain Depicted So Nicely In Just Two Lines….

At times, it takes thousands of sentences to depict the pain and at times, just few words say it all, tell about it all that how the wounds given by the beloved ones hurt, kill you long before you would actually kiss death! I read few of such lines just now and they all hit the nail right on the head and did complete justice to depict such pain. They are in Hindi, I shall translate in English as well. So here is the first one,

Usi ka shehar, wo hi muddai, wo hi munsaf,

Humein yaqeen tha humaara kasoor niklega

And here is it’s translation in English,

Her city, she only being litigant, she only being judge,

I was sure, I would be proved guilty!

Here comes the second one,

Mujhe bhi yaad rakhna jab likho tareekh-e-wafa Sagar,

K maine bhi lutaya hai mohabbat mein sukoon apna!


And here is it’s translation,

Do keep me in mind too when would write the tales of love,

That I too have lost my peace, happiness in love!


Third one,

Humaare bagair bhi aabad hain unki mehflein Mohsin,

Aur hum nadaan samjhte the mehflon ki raunaq hum se hai!


And it’s translation,

Without me also her parties are in full swing,

And I fool was in illusion that it’s me because of which her parties have smiles, happiness!


Fourth one,

Abhi justju mein hoon uski to ehsaas nahin hai usko,

Ro ro k pukarega humein jaraa marr to jane do!


And it’s translation,

I am still in search of her that’s why she is not bothered about me at all,

She will shout my name being drowned in tears, just let me die!


What do I add to such already so good lines? May be will just say this that heat of fire is only felt who is set on fire, wetness of tears on cheeks is felt by those only who have their eyes filled with them, what it feels to sit in a lonely corner, hide your head in in your knees and hearing the sound of nothing but your own cries, how it feels, one can only know if he is having those cries coming out of him and in the same way, how deep is the meaning of the above eight lines is, if you don’t understand, well, don’t bother about trying to do so too!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thank You….

One of my very close friends came to see me just a while ago. He came because he came to know that I am not feeling so well. Why? Well, I can’t blame for it on anyone or on anything else because I myself made that happen, something same which I did couple of years back as well and tried my best to be successful in it but I couldn’t. And this time too, I couldn’t get it done unfortunately but I have promised myself to get it done no matter what, whatever way possible! Anyways so he came to see me and he didn’t ask me a single thing. All he said, “Don’t bother explaining, I can very well guess. Just know this that you are so much good, there are few who would miss you so much if you would go away. That’s all you need to remember.”  I just couldn’t say anything except being in tears. I so wished that he could come a little earlier, on the day may be when I came back to India. He was there with me last time too when I was sick and this time too, he didn’t miss the chance to come and see me even though he is so much busy and not keeping well himself. Thanks so much, that’s all I can say, that’s all!

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Dead, Once Again….

It’s very easy to hurt someone, let him be into tears and still pay no attention. It’s very easy to say to someone that “you don’t understand” without even thinking for a moment that it may be possible that the other person may be knowing much much more than you can possibly imagine as well. It’s very easy to give a promise but it’s so hard to keep that promise. It’s so easy not to take even a step ahead and sit peacefully, it’s so easy to not to do anything. But  even if it’s the smallest and easiest thing to do too,  it’s  tough, really tough to do whatever it takes to keep the promise given and yet when you hear when you do something with so excitement, despite of all the troubles that you have faced for someone who means so much for you, that you did so because “you always do just what you want to do”, not knowing that even though one may think that task was nothing and it was so easy to do it, not knowing that how how many troubles the other person might have faced in order to keep his words but despite of all these factors, if one did something, whatever it may be, it’s definitely not what he did just for him. If someone does something, not big but just a small thing too like crossing oceans, traveling miles, climbing mountains for someone, there can’t possibly be any other reason for all this except this that for whom he is doing all this, he means to him so much and all the troubles, pains, whatever are there, seems so small in front of that someone special. Anything done with so much of love and affection is not because that person would have wanted something just for himself. It takes nothing to give a promise and then to come and say that it’s not possible to do anything about it but it takes a lot to  fulfill the words given. It takes nothing to hurt someone so much and not to even bother to look  that in how much pain that other person is! It’s something which just that person knows who has got that pain, it’s just he who knows that what it feels like to drink his own tears sitting besides the bank of a river or sitting lonely for the whole day and till late in the night on a bench in a park thinking and trying to find out that what’s so wrong you did, are you really so bad that just tears and pain is meant for you?

Giving logics and explanations thinking that you are right, not knowing or understanding that the other person may be knowing and understanding things in a much deeper way but still he may be is quite thinking that it’s okay since there is already very less time. There are always “situations” but there can’t be an explanation for the one in which you can’t even wait for someone to even get back but be so harsh to him, giving him tears and even when he is in so many tears, leave him sitting and crying only! It may be possible that the other person is more aware than you even about situations, time, moment but he is still not talking about it because it would hurt so much even to mention a word about it. That doesn’t mean that he is unaware of what’s going on and what will happen and that also doesn’t mean that you have to hurt him so much for no fault of his, use the words like “harass” for him and make him cry again and again so much and still say that it’s that person only who is non-understanding. It hurts, it really does hurt so much! There may be a lot of pain that he is already having in his heart which has still not gone away and when there is even more pain gets added to it, that person is just going to be dead, once again, because he may be appearing alive but only he knows that he is dead long time back already because of the things said and done to him. Its hurts so much to see when your beloved ones hurts you so much yet don’t even bother about it too,  not knowing that one should not hurt those only who care and love you so much because if the pains and wounds are gifted by anyone else, it’s still tolerable but if the same is given by the beloved ones,  it hurts so much more, it hurts so deep inside! And when you are so much hurt, so much upset, all what you have with you is tears and pains which also show no mercy over you. They also don’t listen to your cries and just laugh at you like the rest of the world, hurt you as much as they can causing an immense and unbearable pain that can only be understandable by one who is having it in his heart. But even that’s not so painful but what really is to be alive yet die with every coming breath and heartbeat! Before the pain which is already there within your heart, could settle, when you get it again and so much of it, it hurts much more what words can express or voice can speak. Yes it really does hurts so much! 

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Upset, Sad, Traveling….

At times, you read some thing which just explains what you even can’t express in words. Somewhat same happened with me as well today. I have just got back home. Where I was? I was sitting somewhere alone thinking so many things with eyes wet. While sitting there, I got a text from a friend of mine and that’s just summed up not just today but the last almost one week of mine. I decided that when I shall be back, I shall put it here with it’s translation in English. Here is the original version in Hindi,

Aaj udaas hoon to kisi ne aawaz bhi na di Faraaz,

Ye matti ke putley kyon kisi se wafa nahin karte!


And it’s translation in English,

Today when I am so sad, no one even called me for a moment too,

Not sure why these statues don’t love anyone!

I am not in a state of mind to say anything. I took leave for something and I shall be back on roads tomorrow traveling but this time,I shall be ensuring that I am not coming back home soon. The program that I am going to undertake is very tough and I haven’t studied about it at all in this entire week. Not sure what is going to happen in it as well. Hope I survive somehow, not sure though.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Happy Chinese New Year(Rabbit)….

It’s the Chinese new year and I wish you all a very happy year of Rabbit. If you are not sure which animal sign you are ( I am Monkey just in case you are wondering) , you can check it here. My new year has started with a painful left foot which I got when I was taking a walk in the night. It happened all of a sudden and after a real painful night spent, what I see in the morning is that the foot has got swelling. I shall put some ointment over it today and would wait for it to get better otherwise, I would be forced to say a happy new year to some doctor. I hope it doesn’t happen. Anyways, I wish that this year brings you all a lot of happiness and success in whatever you do and if in case, you are willing to know what’s the year has in store for you, you can check (out of many) this link( this is for me, you need to select yours though).

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

An Awesome Poetry By Qateel Shifai….

Qateel Shifai is not an unfamiliar name for those who have an eye and taste for good poetry. He is considered as one of the best poets who has crafted some of the finest poetic masterpieces. It’s so tough to say that which one is more better than the other because they are all so good still, I have couple of my favorites and I decided to put one here with it’s translation done in English. It’s originally in a mix of Hindi and Urdu though. So without further a due, here is the original version,

Ik ik patthar jod ke maine jo deevar banaai hai,
Jhaanku us ke peechhe to rusvaai hi rusvaai hai.

Yun lagta hai sote jaagate auron ka mohataj hoon main,
Aankhein meri apni hain par unmein neend parai hai.

Dekh rahe hain sab hairat se neele neele paani ko,
Poochhe kaun samandar se tujh mein kitani geharai hai.

Sab kehte hain ik jannat  utari hai meri dharti par,
Main dil mein sochun shayad kamzor meri binaai hai.

Bahar sehan mein pedon par kuch jalate bujhate juganu the,
Hairat hai phir ghar ke andar  kis ne aag lagaai hai.

Aaj hua maaluum mujhe is shehar ke chand sayaanon se,
Apani raah badalate rehna sabse badi daanaai hai.

Tod gaye paimaan-e-vafaa is daur mein kaise kaise log,
Ye mat soch 'Qateel' ki bas ik yaar tera harajaai hai.


And here is it’s translation in English,

Brick by brick, the wall that I managed to make,
If I look behind it, there is nothing except pain.

It appears to me being sleepy or awake that I am slave of others,
Eyes only are mine, the sleep within them belongs to someone else.

All are looking at the dark blue water with amazement,
But who has dare to go and ask the sea that how deep it really is?

All do say that there is a heaven on this earth,
I think and wonder that may be it's my eyesight which is not good enough to see it.

In the yard outside, there are few glowworms on the trees,
What is surprising then who did lit the fire within the house?

I came to know today from few shadows of this city,
It's the biggest cleverness to keep on changing your ways.

So many has broken the vase of love in today's time oh dear,
Don't think that it's just your beloved who is faithless.


What I can say or add to it? I believe there is nothing which can be further added to it because it has said it all. The pains of a broken heart is only understood by that person who has got the ill fate to collect those shattered pieces with his own bleeding hands for the rest of his life. But those who do this deed, they never even bother to stop for a moment and look behind for a moment too that what damage they have done. It may be nothing or just a very small and casual matter for few to grab and leave hands of one person after the other, but those, whose hands are left and are filled with the pieces of their own shattered  heart and soul, they only know what they will go through for the rest of their lives, life which would be worse than death too because it’s just not being able to breathe which is called alive, there should be a living soul in that breathing body too. If the soul burns and dies, there is just a body which is left which appears to be live but life within that body is long gone, way before the body itself will finally collapse too. Hats off to Qateel Shifai to pen down such pain so nicely in just few lines in the above poetic masterpiece!