How Would It Feel....
Some times , some things just hurt you so much and leave never healing wounds over your heart and soul! All you wish is that some how , some way, the pain of those wounds get relaxed but it just never happens! Despite of your best efforts, the pains of these wounds don't leave you even for a moment. You want to say but find no one besides who is ready to listen. You just feel all alone in this whole big crowded world. What would you do? How would it feel?
Assume there is some one whom you always tried to help and guide when ever he needed that. You always stood with him when no one else thought that its a good idea and he really deserves it. You helped him in his toughest times , not for seeking anything in return but just because that's what a real friend would do for his friends all the time. Yet you see, one fine day, when he got all what he wanted, he leaves without even sharing that news with you. He meets all while leaving just leaving you aside. Even the news , that he is gone is given to you by someone else who not only tells you this but also laughs at you on your face, knowing that you kept him closet to your heart? How would it feel?
Assume that there is someone who you thought as a friend for years. You shared with him almost all of your sad/happy moments. You trusted him the most and told him those things too which otherwise could only be told to family members , treated him just alike your family. You treated his brothers and sisters like yours, gave his parents the same respect that you would give to yours. Despite what anyone would say about him, you always trusted him and thought that he may be bad for others but he would never be bad for you because you are not bad for him. And one day,all you see is that he goes and talks bad about you to others and this isn't for the first time, you come to know that he is doing it from rather a very long time. Not just this, he also talks bad about your family to others. He goes to others and makes fun of you. He knows that you don't believe in showing off like a "cool dude" and like simplicity but yet he makes fun about you in front of others. He tells others that you have been a fool all of your life, who doesn't know/understand anything. He jokes around while sitting with others, telling them a story of your life with saying that you never knew how to keep a relation, you never knew how to love someone so what ever happened with you is just right and that's all what you deserve to see. He keeps a dual face with you, says that you are his friend but on your back, tells all that you are nothing but a selfish guy, turning all opposite towards you. You helped him in all the times but just for one time, when you needed help, he says you in a simple and plain manner that he would only do it once you are going to pay him. What would you do when you see this happening from your eyes? How would it feel?
Assume you have a friend who is going to married very soon but he never shares the news with you. When you go and meet him, he is having a very smiling face for you. You do talk to him over the same topic for quite a time and he just says, its still going on but one fine day, from someone else you come to know, he is going to married very soon and except you, all the world knows about it. You wonder and ask him and he just says without showing any remorse, he forgot to tell you this. What would you do seeing this that a news which someone shared with the whole world, only when it came your turn, he "forgot" it? How would it feel?
Assume that you shower all of your love and care over some one. You do whatever the best you can for that person in everything. You give up all what you have for that person. You give away all your smiles to see that person smiling. You make sure that nothing wrong happens with that person , even when in doing so, you go through so many pains. You love that person from the deepest corners of your heart. You see things happening which hurt you so much at times but you never say anything, thinking that its okay as only whom we love, can hurt us. Despite that all around you say that you would get hurt but you never listened and believed on them because you believe on that person that doesn't matter what, that person won't ever hurt you. But you see some practical things like study in abroad , a better career win over you. You just cry sitting in corners, trying to find an answer that what's so wrong you did that you met a fate like this? You want to die but even god turns his face away from you, leaving you to be alive yet die with every single moment and breath. It hurts so much to see yourself sitting all alone, longing for just one message from that person , just to see it never coming. You get an offer to do something, something which was like a dream for you, which made you feel so much happy and proud over yourself and all you wanted to do is just rush and share the news with those few special ones. You think that they would be so much happy too and feel proud over you but only see that the news doesn't qualify to be that much important news for them. You get sick and wait all the time to hear back from that someone special to ask you how you are but despite knowing, he never asks. How would it feel?
There are these two lines which I guess sum up all above said completely. These are in Hindi, I shall explain their meaning in English in a while.
Har paon raund kar nikle mujhe,
Na jaane kaun c manzil ka raasta hun main?
And its meaning in English is,
Every foot seems to be stepped to just crush me underneath it,
God only knows to which destination I lead to as a road?