Saturday, March 29, 2008

Feels Like Cheated....

Some times there is this time which holds you down. Just what ever you do, what ever you try to do, the time doesn't allow it be successful. I hate this thing that you let things depend upon time because I am a very stubborn person and I push things and myself to limits. But there are some things upon which you don't have control. Despite doing your best, giving your best shot, you see others moving ahead. Not because they are better than you, not because they are more competent than you but just because they got an opportunity which is not given to you. And that's what I hate the most. It has happened one time before. Despite some one being so junior to me, being just my student, he got an opportunity that was never offered to me even. Not because I am less technical than him but because...you know what I don't even know why not ? And today someone who just few days was after my life that I didn't do anything for him( despite trying my best to do) , didn't help him out in anything, he got one offer which is not offered to me at all. And I have no idea why not me and why him? I don't know what is happening and what will happen. If a testing time as like everyone says than I shall just say that this testing time is really tough. Not because the test is but because to see others are getting things served in plates without losing a sweat and despite trying so hard, things are slipping out of my hands. It just feels like cheated. I am not saying this because I am accepting it. I wont and I am not that sort of person but yes its hurting. I am too just a human and its hurting me like anything. And the worst part is at this time, some people whom I stood all the time with when ever they needed me ,wanted me to be with them, those people are not there. Not because I asked them to leave me alone but they , just for their own sake , left me alone saying to others that take care of him without bothering what this will do to me. I wish I could change some things, revert some things back. I really wish just for once I could do this!

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