Sunday, January 14, 2007

Selfish Souls Cant Love....

When some one hurts you and that some one is the closest one of you, the pain, that hurt becomes much more intense.  But still you can forget that pain, that hurt coz the person is the closet one and if he/she is that much close that means in any case, he/she would have the same importance for you, would mean to you the same no matter what he/she does would say/do to you.  But when you never say anything, never say any bad words to that person but still are blamed for being always bad, when you have to hear so much , so many things which tear away your heart, you entire self into pieces than that pain is some thing which words cant express.  If pain is given by some stranger, some thing from outside is hurting you, you can do anything to that person/thing but what you can do for that pain which is caused by your own self, which is not from outside but somewhere, some thing, deep inside of you is hurt the most and is broken, which medication you would use to heal it?No medicines, no cure is there for that pain which is caused to you by those from whom you never expected it would come.  And even after that you can live but when even after bearing all the pain, crying till your eyes become dry, you are held responsible for everything, all the things that you said, all the things that you ever did for that person's smiles and happiness, they are forgotten like they never happened, than it hurts so much!You never did anything among those things to prove how much good or best you are among the rest but you did all to make your special ones happy and smile.  But when you are held responsible for everything, even after your heart is broken into pieces, is crushed by some one by his/her feet and when all that happens, tears come out from your eyes, you are told that your tears doesn't mean anything and the same goes for you, it just feels like that a slap is being hit on the face of entire self and on those feelings of yours.  Its very difficult to get hurt and still smile.  Its very tough to get your self crushed every day, every moment but still when asked, reply with a smile and say ".nothing".It hurts so much to see your faith getting bruised and your dreams shattering.  It hurts so much to be left alone on a road which you chose on the trust of someone that he/she will come along with you and wont leave your hand in between.  It hurts so much to hear that you never did anything, never was good enough.  It hurts so much to see that even after you tried to give whatever you could, tried to love from the deepest of your heart but it wasn't enough for that other person.  It hurts to see the one you loved, walk away leaving you all alone in tears.  It hurts the most is when  you believed that they loved you but they really never did!It hurts so very very much!But people who do this they don't understand this.  They don't think that they have done something wrong.  All what they have, is their reasonings, their explanations for doing that.  All what they do is just to prove that they didn't do anything wrong anywhere.  Its just you who is wrong, they just say this to you.  Its not so easy to be on the path of love.  Its so wrong to just think that it will be a fairy tale to be in love.  It takes so much to be in love, it takes so many guts to do even one small thing for love.  Its so easy to give explanations, excuses, reasons for "not doing something" but what takes real courage, guts is " to actually to do something".Love is an ocean of fire and one has to swim through it to cross it, don't forget that.  Its very easy to leave some one, what's really tough is to be with some one.  Its very easy to give tears to some one, anyone can do that( and mostly all do this only).  But its so much tough to take tears of some one in your eyes and give smiles in return.  Its so much easy to do something for your own, some thing for yourself but its very tough to do something for someone else.  When one person is doing everything without asking anything for him/herself, somewhere he/she wants too that something should be done for him/her too.  If someone is giving you so much love, doing everything in the best possible way he/she can for you, if he/she expects just a little love for him/herself too, is it too much to ask for?Is it so much big crime to be longing to be loved?If this is a crime than crushing someone's heart, giving him so much of pain, hurt and still saying that he/she is wrong in everything, is this right?Those who break hearts and move on, those who give tears and seek happiness for just themselves, they cant understand how it feels when you look back and you see nothing but a dark road on which you are left all alone and wounded by none other than anybody but your own love.  No explanation is enough to heal that pain, no reason is good enough to justify it.  One really want to know the pain, really want to taste the tears than just for one minute think that if the same would had happened to you, how would you had felt?How would it feel to be getting killed by  your own love?If you have ever done something like this to anyone, just for one minute look inside in your heart and ask this from yourself, do you really know how to love?Do you really deserved to be loved?Stop lying to yourself and also stop saying this to that poor soul also who is trusting you coz you will break his/her heart thinking that time will heal the wounds but even though time would heal the wounds still marks given your torture, imprints of your betrayal would always be there on that persons soul and for which no one else but you will be responsible.  If you cant give smiles to someone, you have no right to give the other person tears also.
 
These are the lines which are from a lover.  These are expressing his pain what he is going through after being betrayed by his love.  I shall explain the meaning of them just in a while in English also.  Firstly I am presenting them in Hindi.  Have a read:
 
Humne us se pyar hud se jyada kiya,
Jaan de kar bhi yaari nibha di!
Kahin lag na jaye thand use,
Humne apni hi chita us ke liye jala di!
Lagti rahe use aanch madham madham
Humne rooh tak khak bana di!
Afsos na hua ik pal ko bhi,
Khushi se apni jaan luta di!
Socha humari kurbani ne,
Sachi mohbbat humari use dikha di!
Par shayad kafi na tha jalna humara,
Keemat na thi jaan ki bhi koi humari!
Kyonki unhone har pal ki sirf ye shikayat,
Kaise itni jaldi yeg aag chita ki bujha di!
Isi uljhan mein lutengi ab ye bachi saansen,
Ja  tha paas sab diya, Jo kar sakte the wo sab kiya,
Fir kyon mile sirf gum, fir kyon mila wafa ka yeh sila!
 
And the meaning of these lines in English is:
I loved her more than even my life,
I got killed but I still fulfilled my promises of love!
She wont get cold, I lit my self on fire,
She must get warmth, I set my soul too on fire!
I never had any regret to do so, I gave my life even happily!
I thought with my sacrifice, she has understood my love!
But may be it was not enough for her,
My life, my had no meanings for her!
Coz even after she got all that,
She just had nothing but complaints!
I shall pass my life now thinking this only,
What was my fault, Why I got just hurt for my love?
 
I shall conclude by saying this only that do not say to some one that you love him/her if you don't and if you say than do have some courage and guts within you to fulfill your words. Love is not for cowards, selfish people.  Always remember, its not just that other person who has to do everything to make relation complete, you have the same responsibility on your shoulders too.  This reason that you never promised to do something for your love ever and now if you are not doing  its appropriate, is just your hollow attempt to hide in the shell of your own lies now,.Some things do not require proofs to be given and in the same way some things do not require promises to be exchanged.Dont break some one's heart for just your own selfishness.  Before expecting to be loved, learn to love others.  Its very easy to say someone that he/she has not done anything for you.  Before saying it, ask the same to your self.  When someone comes to you passing thousands of miles, swimming across seas, climbing mountains, shed tears when you are in pain, burn his entire self to make you happy and still gets just insults, ask him how much difficult it is to do so!When he hears from you that it has no meaning for you, all he has in his heart is just regret and hurt that the other person has no value for what he has done!Before saying this, ask your self what you have done for that person?Ask your self what one thing you have done and even if you did something by fluke too, if for the same you are told that it has no meaning than  how would you feel?It just hurts so much!Its very easy to leave someone in between just coz for your own selfishness but its very tough to be with someone in any conditions or times.  Its very easy to just blame others.  And one must not forget this that at the time when you are blaming others, you are just trying to hide your own faults, your own betrayals under that blame.  Learn to sacrifice something for others than ask the same from someone else.Dont just ask everything for your self.  Love is not asking, its just  giving.  But even if you are nothing more than a selfish taker, don't be a taker always coz that giver , some day he/she would stop and that day, you would have nothing with you but to repent which too wont help you in anyways coz just like when you break glass, you cant join it, after breaking heart,you cant make up that damage with any means!Don't hurt some one so much that whenever he/she remembers you, all it comes to his mind is just the pain and hurt given by you.  Love is not hurting those whom you love no matter what happens.  Love is not making the person bad or worse or to make him burn in the fire of your betrayal.  Its bringing the best out of that person whom you love.  If you cant bring the best out the person, all you do is just worry about your prestige, benefits, you be selfish for just your own head, you think about no one but  just you, you are afraid, please don't spoil the life of some one for your fun.  You don't deserve to be loved and you don't have rights to hurt some one just for your fun!Remember give smiles than only you are eligible to seek them from others.  If you only know to give pain, hurt, anger to others, you are not worthy enough to expect smiles and happiness for you too.  All that will come to you is the same pain, grief and hurt that you have given to others.  Those tears only will come to your eyes whom you have left in other's eyes.What you sow, so shall you reap, remember that!
 

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